Would you buy a home you didn't love?

[floofycroissant]

Just that really, and did it work out or did you regret buying it?

We've been looking since the summer and with everything going on there's so little choice. The houses are either £50k under or over budget and nothing in between that hangs around long enough for us to view.

Meanwhile each month were throwing away almost 3 times what we'd pay on a mortgage renting and eating into our deposit.

Yes, we knew we wanted to live in a specific area and bought the only house we could afford in that area with the right number of bedrooms. I liked it more than DH.

Seven years on we both love the house. We haven’t done as much work to it as we thought we would but are now fond of the little quirks.

I’ve never had a love feeling for any house I’ve viewed it was whether it fits my needs and the feeling comes over time.

I bought - and still live in - a house I don’t love. It’s a long term house for us so I’m likely to be here a long time. I wouldn’t say I regret it. Sometimes you have to be practical if what you love doesn’t exist.

We bought a house we didn’t love (it was pretty grim) but it was on a great road and a good price. We’re lucky that we’ve been able to improve it over time, and we now love it.

Yes, we did it, I never grew to love it, but we were practical ans made the best of living there,

It had no parking and was on a busy a road. However it was a big Victorian detached house that would have been way out with our budget if in a better location with parking. My husband talked me into it

We would not do it again. However I’d totally buy the best of what was available rather than rent.

Yes, I'd buy any home I could actually afford with enough bedrooms in the rough area I want. Loving it would be a nice bonus but in no way essential.

Yes, ticked all our boxes on paper, knew it was the sensible choice, didn't love the house at all. 10 years on, we've made it work for us and whilst I don't love the house just for the house if you see what I mean, I love what we've done to it and the life its given us.

I don’t think many people really live in a house they love, do they? I don’t think anyone dreams as a child of living in a three-bed semi on a Taylor Wimpey estate any more than they dream of being an economist or working for the Civil Service, but there are enough of all of those things because generally this stuff is driven by practicality.

I bought a house I truly loved - an enormous Victorian stone church conversion with all its original pictorial stained glass in rural Scotland. It was beautiful but utterly impractical and miserable at times and within five years I was so fed up I moved back in London. I now live in a charming but practical little house on one of the more average streets of a perfectly average London suburb. I’ll never look at it and feel the joy in my heart I did with My church but it fits my needs and doesn’t give me anything like the grief.

Yes and I don’t like it.

I think it’s about the potential of house. Given time again I’d buy a house I didn’t like so long as it had potential to become what I liked eg the area was ok and it could be changed over time. I wouldn’t buy a house that I didn’t like if there was something integral about it I didn’t like that couldn’t be changed. I did that and regret it (the street is horrible abs the house is an akward layout that is has/is hard work to alter even through buildings work.

Yes and I massively regret it.

Yes I have and I would again. Surely nearly everyone does, especially their first ever buy? Most of the flats/houses I've lived through my life are not ones I loved at first sight (some of them I grew to love or certainly feel fine about, a few I never really liked but did the job at the time). Unless you are very rich or very easily pleased I think there's always going to be a compromise in style/aesthetics of the house, size or location, or a combination of all 3! My first ever flat was really ugly, on a ugly estate and in an ugly location right next to the tube line, but it was a good size and easy to maintain so it was a sensible buy at the time and ultimately you don't spend much time looking at the outside of your house... my current house is much cuter/easier on the eye, it's an old cottage and in a nice-ish location (on a busy road though which isn't ideal), but it's very small and has maintenance issues, so swings and roundabouts. I think in general if you are a positive, healthy person, you make the best of wherever you live and once you decorate it to your taste and fill it with your stuff (and more importantly start to have happy memories there), it starts to feel like home and you learn to live around its compromises - and if the compromises really start to be an issue long term it serves as good motivation to work and save hard to buy your next place!

Exactly AIMD I'd buy with potential but what we're viewing atm are all major compromises and stop gaps. Very small and would likely have to mover in 2-3 years, they're also mostly under our budget. So I'm wondering if it's worth buying cheap just for the sake of owning.

I am willing to compromise, maybe love was the wrong word, but simply somewhere that excites you and isn't a total compromise.

I think the house you buy should have the potential for you to love it. If it doesn't don't buy it.

For example my first flat was in a characterless 60s block with 60s decor and was pretty grubby but it had picture windows and filled with sun. Once it was painted cream throughout, had decent curtains up and flooring that flowed and was plain it was a different place altogether. Enhanced by having its own front door and parking space and being set in nice gardens.

Going from renting I don't think it is such a problem settling for a house. I certainly didn't love the house we bought but over time I have started to like it. This house isn't our "forever house" so it doesn't really matter. That said, next time we move I would like to go for something I really liked as it will be a long term house and we need to get it right.

@floofycroissant

Exactly AIMD I'd buy with potential but what we're viewing atm are all major compromises and stop gaps. Very small and would likely have to mover in 2-3 years, they're also mostly under our budget. So I'm wondering if it's worth buying cheap just for the sake of owning.

I am willing to compromise, maybe love was the wrong word, but simply somewhere that excites you and isn't a total compromise.

You have my sympathies, didn't mean my post to come across as though I don't understand, I fully remember that grim trudge around flats that were already a massive compromise and still over my budget and/or which sold within 5 minutes, it can get so disheartening.

I know a lot of people say the one thing you shouldn't compromise on is location but that's what worked for me in the end - I was in a similar position to you when I was a FTB, had started off thinking I wanted a spacious 2 bed with garden or balcony, quickly found out that I couldn't even get a poky 1 bed with no garden where I wanted to buy - but by going further afield into an area with the reputation for being a bit 'rough' I managed to get a reasonably sized 2 bed (still no garden though!). It turned out living there was absolutely fine, yes it certainly wasn't a nice looking area, it was quite run down, but it had the amenities I needed and crime was actually quite low (I think in particular the burglars and muggers didn't bother as everyone that lived there was poor, they took their crime to the rich areas I'd been initially looking to buy!). I did worry about resale but actually although the rough area didn't gentrify overnight or anything, it hadn't become any rougher by the time I came to sell and I was able to sell it without too much bother to another FTB in just the same position I'd been in myself. Sorry if this is totally irrelevant to you (if you have schools etc to consider) but if you genuinely have exhausted the market in the areas you are looking and you can't make any further compromises in the size or style of the house, then area is the thing that will have to give??

@floofycroissant

Exactly AIMD I'd buy with potential but what we're viewing atm are all major compromises and stop gaps. Very small and would likely have to mover in 2-3 years, they're also mostly under our budget. So I'm wondering if it's worth buying cheap just for the sake of owning.

I am willing to compromise, maybe love was the wrong word, but simply somewhere that excites you and isn't a total compromise.

How certain are you you would be able to move in 2-3 years? I think, unless, you have very secure finances, you need to think about if the house would be manageable if you got stuck there for a longer time (eg if you lost your income or housing market crashed etc).

Oddly we bought our house because it was cheap. I am actually glad we made the choice in terms of us now having some asset and paid off some of the mortgage. However my husbands income has increased a lot since we bought it and if I could have predicted that I would have probably looked at something different that we could have done work on...but I didn’t know we’d be able to afford that type of work when we bought.

On my budget I won't have much choice.

Yes, we bought what we could afford to get on the housing ladder. Our next move will be somewhere I love more I hope. It does make me sad that I don't love where I live or even like it much but I view it as a step on the way to better things.

Thanks maxelly part of the issue is that we also don't have as many restraints. Now that jobs have changed the commute is less important, were not tied to schools yet etc... oddly finding it makes decisions even harder!

Not FTB either, we sold to relocate and rent temporarily and then COVID hit so I think that's adding to our impatience. similar to ComtessDeSpair our first house was a period property / labour of love, but in hindsight it was a money pit that we were too skint from fixing the basics to be able to afford make into a home. So I can def see both sides.

Didn't love the house we are in when we bought it, but it was tremendous good value, with a great garden and it made sense. I am now somewhat fond of it but still don't love it.

We nearly bought another house this month. Although on paper it was good, this time we're spending a lot more and I knew the compromises would bug me every single day. Some of these could've been put right (not all), but we don't want the hassle of major building works.

Rightly or wrongly, at this level of spend I want to feel a bit more excited about a house, and not need to remodel, although I do appreciate the next house won't be without compromise.

When we moved to our current area we had a real head vs heart dilemma over 2 possible houses. We went with the head and bought a spacious, practical but slightly dull modern house, but for quite a while I yearned for the beautiful old place we had decided against. But 20 odd years later we are still in our "head" house and absolutely don't regret the decision. It's ideally located, has met the needs of our growing family admirably and has been low cost to run, not needed huge amounts of maintenance etc.
We actually know the people who bought the "heart" house. It is indeed beautiful but it's almost like it owns them rather than vice versa. Which is fine for them - a couple with a lot of disposable income and no children - but would have been a disaster for us. I don't regret following my head, and in fact I do now love our house, because it is our home, full of happy memories.

We're downsizing and it's so hard!
We currently live in a large victorian house, huge ceilings/sash windows/big bedrooms but after living here for 15 years, we've never managed to do what we want because the running costs are so high. All our money goes into the house. So we looked for 6 months and missed houses that in hindsight, we should have gone for.
In the end we were set on living in a certain area ( with about 4 roads we liked 😩) and found a house there eventually that I don't love compared to the money pit, but it has great things going for it & with a bit of tlc I'll grow to love it 🙂

I think there’s a difference between realising a house can work for you practically and massively compromising as you said you would be.
Like PPs, I haven’t loved any of the houses I’ve lived in - I have far too little money to pick somewhere I’d be in love with But I knew I needed 3 bedrooms, a garden and I wanted a drive. I didn’t compromise on those things and if I had I think it’d have cheesed me off way more than thinking my kitchen is a bit ugly or wishing the ceilings were a bit higher. Don’t buy somewhere that doesn’t have the fundamentals you need to live whether that’s a certain amount of space, a certain location, whatever. But if you want to own a property and you find somewhere that ticks the boxes but is pretty ugly and has a few niggles I’d go for it!

Hope it works out OP I hate house hunting, I know some people love it but it stresses me out no end so I sympathise And COVID virtual viewings won’t be making it any easier I expect!

ME TOO Peanut I don't understand how people can love house hunting, and stressful. Maybe that's just my budget

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I’ve never had a love feeling for any house I’ve viewed it was whether it fits my needs and the feeling comes over time.

This.

And I fell in love with then as I made them my own - they required lots of renovation.

Lots of that “ falling in love “ stuff is based on superficial things ( much like with men ). Like the decoration and furnishings, how the place is styled.

I just viewed two identical flats - one was above the other in the same block. One had amazing furniture and styling - all mid century modern furniture, cool plants and artwork - very insta worthy. It sold for a much higher price than the one below which was very ..averagely boring.

Someone has just paid 10% more for a flat because they liked someone else’s furniture