Move or stay put with teenagers?

[mrsmangal]

I've got a nice dilemma... We have inherited some money since my DM passed away. We could afford to move. ATM we have three teenagers in a four bed house. Not terrible by any means but a couple of the bedrooms are small and the downstairs isn't too big really as soon as we have a couple of people over. We have already done a loft extension and we haven't got scope to extend the downstairs.

We could buy a bigger place, but is this silly with a 19, 17 and 13 year old? Eldest is at uni and I assume the younger ones will also be going in due course. Should we just stay put given that the nest will be emptying fairly soon? WWYD?

You could move but not to one with more bedrooms, rather one with a better layout. there's no reason to assume you're going to have an empty nest that quickly...any one of them might be with you for another ten years!

Some move out and then come back regularly.

I know I did. I left at 23, then came back to my own room every holiday until I was about 30!

Or buy an investment property?

If you have the space could you build a annexe in the garden or garden room with bathroom facilities to host teens?

I am not sure I would move now, they probably will be coming and going for a few years yet, but making them too comfortable in large bedrooms with ensuite facilities might ensure they never ever leave

In a year most of them could be gone, so no I definitely would not move to a bigger place. Instead I would spend the money on something I loved and dreamt of, a little holiday home or a camper van. Make your dreams happen for a change.

I agree that you could have kids living at home for a long time yet. Just because they go to uni, it's still their home. Holidays are long and they'll likely want to come home afterwards.

If two of the three are at home for the next 5 years, what would you want to do? Would you want more space?
The idea to get a place with better downstairs living space but not increase bedrooms is a good one unless you are likely to have lots of visitors staying over.

Don't buy an investment property, homes are for living in and you don't need two.

If its for the long term you won't necessarily want to downsize when you're older, my MIL wants more space now she has 2 grandchildren and her partner has 3 grandchildren so just something to consider even if its a long while off

We have 4 dc. I’d move. Have you heard the term ‘Boomerang kids?’

Dss now 32 was at home until 26
Dss now 30 boomeranged back and forth between ages 20-28
Ds now 27 left to go to uni, came home to do an MA, left to go to London and came back last year.

Ime they don’t really leave until late 20’s

My dc all left home by early 20s so I wouldn't bother. Even if two of yours hang around for a while and one leaves, you still have a 4 bed.

I would move for bigger bedrooms and more space. I think the days of children moving out at 18 being the norm are long gone.
I am pleased we moved to give our children more space- it means they can stay with us for longer and save up a deposit. We also now have the space for their partners to stay as well (pre Covid).
I can’t see us downsizing until our youngest is mid 20s and even then it will depend on circumstances. I think if you can afford it- go for it!

Do you live somewhere your children may be more likely to return to as adults, eg a town with graduate job opps or reasonable commute to a city with jobs?

If you are rural or very small town then your kids are much less likely to boomerang back and you might be better off keeping the inherited cash and giving them a chunk as a deposit for their own flats

What is the rest of your financial situation like? Do you have savings, pensions etc?
If you've got no savings or pension provision then no, spend the money on that instead

I would move to a bigger place with a view the property is an investment in case you need to downsize later on in life.

Thanks all... food for thought.

Buy something u WANT not what u NEED, things may look different in your household in the next 5 years 😁

What about the other aspects of your home - does it have a good garden, do you like the location, are the neighbours quiet?

I’d move if I also wanted to change the above factors, but if I loved everything about my house except for being a bit short on space, I would stay.

Love our road, love the location. Neighbours a bit noisy. We will be very fussy if we do try to move.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

We have 4 dc. I’d move. Have you heard the term ‘Boomerang kids?’

Dss now 32 was at home until 26
Dss now 30 boomeranged back and forth between ages 20-28
Ds now 27 left to go to uni, came home to do an MA, left to go to London and came back last year.

Ime they don’t really leave until late 20’s

This is exactly why you should stay put. Make it so uncomfortable that they will never want to move home. Who wants their dc living with them until their late 20s ?!

Yeah there is that l suppose😁

We had four children in a three bedroom cottage. Fourteen years between eldest and youngest.
Eldest left at 21 bought his own house.
DS2 went to local uni but left after gaining HND and joined a company where he moved around the county.,He bought a house with me at 23 then moved into it as they moved him back.
DS3 moved out into rented accommodation at 18 with girlfriend. They were looking after large property - multi let.
DD went to local uni for one year then three years at another uni and stayed down south. She still has some things at home. She is in NZ at present.

The house is just right for DH and I. We have had a new kitchen (2 yrs ago), new bathroom last year during lockdown - don’t ask and hall re plastered and waiting for being painted.

We asked the kids when they were all home but they didn’t want a bigger house in the city. They loved where they lived and traded that and great local friends for being a bit squashed and sharing with brother and DS3 with his sister until DS1 moved out.
We really love the house and the village and the views at the back are amazing with front room views over the green.

Do you really love the house and area?
Can you face moving?
What do the children think?

How did a 21 year old buy his own house?! Did he get a windfall or something?! House prices round me are ridiculous.

I think that’s in important thing to consider. If they want to stay local in an area of high house prices then they are more likely to live at home, to save for a deposit.