Unsettled in new house

[Tzimi]

Hello, I moved house about 2 months ago, and I just can't seem to settle down in my new place! I moved for financial reasons, and because we had some new neighbours recently who were very noisy. I've got more space here, which is what I wanted, and it's quieter. The house does need a fair amount of work, but it's nothing I havn't tackled before. I've already made some improvements (new boiler, new shed) and have others planned or in progress (new windows, kitchen & bathroom). Yesterday, I felt a bit better & I started work on my bathroom, but today I feel horrendous, and I've hardly done anything. I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't motivate myself! I can't even sell the house in this unfinished condition. Somehow, I need to find the motivation to carry on with the improvements. I havn't even unpacked all my things yet, and there are boxes piled up all over the place. Any ideas on how I might motivate myself to get on with everything I need to do? Help!

@ivykaty44 Well, I finally tackled all the shed boxes the other day (bar 2), when B&Q finally got some new shelves, which they had run out of previously. I thought 4 shelves would be enough, but it looks like it might be 5 in the end... So will have to move all the other shelves down the rails a bit... Putting my analysis hat on, I think part of the issue might be that unpacking my stuff forces me to accept that I've moved and bought this place! As long as the stuff is in boxes, it feels like I'm just passing through... The shed somehow feels as though it's 'mine' (since I had it installed), whereas the rest of the house feels alien to me, until I've put my stamp on it. Having said that, the new white bath tub reflects the light brilliantly, and lights up the room. Now I just have to get it plumbed-in & fixed in properly. I've also been planning the tiling scheme, and have decided on predominantly white tiles, with a couple of horizontal & vertical grey stripes (porcelain border tiles). The problem with me at the moment, is that I'm definitely not a winter person. By the time I've got any enthusiasm about doing the work, it's often getting so late I only get a bit done. It might be different if it was summer, or at least spring. Btw, I've also given away several boxes of things to the charity shop- I also definitely have way too much stuff!

I had to downsize following divorce, I have been here 2.5 years and I do not feel settled.
I only viewed once as I was under pressure to move although I had seen lots of other properties time was running out.
I lived in a very quiet area and now although not on a main road it is a 'rat run'. I went from a totally private large garden, to a postage stamp with neighbours with noisy grandchildren who might as well be living there. I was also detached and now have to put up with hearing next door which I find very intrusive.
I do not have the money for a new kitchen or bathroom, I have a single brick utility without a door from the kitchen, so I try to avoid spending time in their in the Winter. Added to that a draft comes through the door of the integral garage in to the utility. The actualy garage door has gaps and wont open, a new garage door will cost at least £1k.
I have painted everywhere white on top of a thick patterned wallpaper, really it needs taking off all over the house but I am sure the whole house would need replastering.
All the paintwork has years of layers of paint which I had no option just to paint over.
I have a freezing cold conservatory which is only used for storage really and the mess gets on my nerves.
I have a good sized boarded loft, but the hatch has something wrong with it and it has an ancient unsteady metal loft ladder.
It would probably be a nice family home if I had £25k to spend on it.

@crimsonlake Oh no, I'd say that maybe after 2.5 years of feeling unsettled, it's probably not the right place for you? Has it at least gone up in value, so you can move? It's a great idea to paint everything white, I imagine it really brightens the place up? I was thinking about doing the same thing.

I know what you mean about wallpaper, this place is the same- I hate the stuff! It's all over the stairwell, hall, & landing, patterned yellow filthy wallpaper! Oh, and Artex on some ceilings, and on most of the bathroom walls, argh! Same story re painted woodwork here, I suspect it's going to take a while to strip it all off with my heat gun. I used to have a steamer for the wallpaper, but unfortunately I sold it- so I'll have to get another one (they're not very expensive).

I can totally empathise re downsizing- my first place in Cambridge was an ex-Council 3 bedroom house, which I bought before house prices went crazy. But I lost my job, and spent too much borrowed money doing it up, so I had to move after 4 years. The next place was my one -bedroom flat, which although small, had an absolute little gem of a garden! It used to be visited by all manner of wildlife- squirrels, Muntjac deer, foxes, hedgehogs, frogs, toads, Goldfinches, & of course Pigeons & Magpies & numerous other birds. As for the insect life, I spent hours photographing the various hoverflies, bumblebees , dragonflies etc which visited my Buddleia. I had an entomologist friend who used to help me ID them! I also used to grow lots of vegetables, as well as daffodils, hyacinths etc. My cat loved it too, and used to sit out there under her favourite tree, watching the squirrels. It makes me quite sad thinking about it! It was idyllic for quite a few years, until the problems with the neighbours started- although it was always a bit short of space...

Anyway, I've now started planning my tiling scheme for my new bathroom, but it's getting late (as usual). I'm hoping that tomorrow morning I'll be in a better frame of mind, so I can get on with the plumbing & preparing the walls early...

Good luck with the tiling and I am sure you will do a top job. I have to fit a new toilet seat and that seems enough diy for me.
Yes, lots of white paint and art on the walls to cover the up the pattern of the wallpaper.
I have painted the bathroom tiles and laid some new flooring, but an ancient suite although white and rusty brass taps is not very stylish.
Where I live is a fairly good commute for work, so that is what keeps me here. I may have a rethink next year, however within my budget in a nicer area I would be in a terrace with no drive and that does not appeal either.

Stop what you are doing, make a cup of tea and sit down.

Drink tea.

Right. Where are you going to put your Christmas tree, have you decided? Come on - get cracking and sort that out asap. Some twinking lights and baubles will cheer you up no end. Honestly - it's what you need.

If you already have an artificial tree you can do it this evening, otherwise find and sort out your decorations this evening, and go and buy a tree in the morning.

If you have different beliefs, go and buy a big bunch of flowers or a house plant instead.

@tinselfest Yes, I do have a set of outdoor lights, and a rather pathetic looking willow tree (I think) in the front garden, I could drape them over. They need to be waterproof round here! Actually, this town in Yorkshire has been a bit of a revelation, they seem to go mad with the outdoor Christmas lights- you'd love it here!

@crimsonlake Thanks! I'm a little nervous, as the mosaic tiles are a couple of mm thicker than the white tiles. But it should be ok, as with this adhesive I can pack out the white tiles, but press the mosaics well down, so they should be at the same level. I thought I'd experiment with a vertical grey stripe or two this time, as well as the horizontal borders. The problem with me, especially at this time of year, is that it takes me ages to get up the enthusiasm to start working in the morning. I guess I'll just have to push myself...

Hope the toilet seat goes well! A new seat can make even the most tired loo look much better. I'm in a terrace, although it's the end house (so a bit like a semi). It does have a good patch of land at the side I could use as a driveway, although I'd have to get the curb lowered, which would cost a bit.. Plus I'd have to lay down some kind of paving. Have you thought about some new taps for your bathroom? You can get them quite reasonably on ebay.

New taps? Yes, but really I want to replace everything.
I have a relative who agree to fit a new sink and bath for me. Apart from the fact he wont come to the house during the pandemic and always seems to be doing sometihng on his own it is a long wait.
If only mney was no object I would be actiually paying someone to do the work.
Since I cannot decide how long I will be here I decided to live with the bathroom rather than go to the expense and never recoup the money. But at the end of the day if I stay here for 5 years I may as well have had the benefit of a nicer bathroom.

@crimsonlake That's a shame he won't come over. If you have the work done, you should recoup the money. I had an estate agent over yesterday, who said that the value of my house could go up by £10,000 if I refurbished it. And it would sell more easily when the time comes, as well as being nicer to live in.

@crimsonlake Anyway, when I've (hopefully) got the bathroom done, and the windows/doors, I'll get the agent round to see if he thinks it's worth selling then, and if it's made an impact on the value.

@Tzimi - sorry I didn’t get back to this thread yesterday.

We have no plans to move again. It’s really just irritating things that are fixable. And we are lucky enough to be able to get people in to fix them.

So the attic will be boarded in January so we can use that for storage. We are having an understairs cupboard built early next year too. Although that may well be April. Also another cupboard added in the kitchen which will help storage issues. Also April as it’s the guy who built the kitchen and he is really busy.

Thankfully no bad plumping or electrics here as it’s a new build. And only wallpaper in the downstairs loo. Which is quite pretty. Although they installed the smallest sink possible so you can even put a bottle of handsoap down. Lots of space for a bigger sink so no idea why they did that.

Reading some of the issues some of you have with your new houses I think we are lucky really. I love the area and everyone we’ve met in the village seems nice. We are walking distance from a lovely pub. Our immediate neighbours are nice and very helpful. And we have lots of space outside. A complete blank canvas in the back which was a sheep paddock. I opened the bedroom curtains yesterday morning to find 49 pigeons and a squirrel in the back garden!

If you find it hard to get going in the mornings maybe it’s SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder. A Lumie lamp might help. I was recommended one by a counsellor I was seeing. I haven’t actually tried it yet but I did get one. I’m not great in the mornings myself so I know how you feel.

@Peridot1 That's ok, I've only just got on here myself. It sounds as though you're getting things sorted out, which is great. I have to get people in to fix some things, but other things I can do myself, fortunately. It should be no problem to fit a bigger sink in your loo!

I'm going to get some new windows & doors in January, which should make the place warmer, as well as looking nicer. I've also started on my bathroom, and I have to plumb-in my new bath, secure it, & tile around it. I think the tile design (white tiles with grey borders) should look nice. Then there's the kitchen (groan)...

As for the electrics, that's an unknown quantity.. But at least the gas appliances are good now, and the plumbing is mostly sorted. Oh, and another issue- there are some old Redifusion (an early cable TV system) wires draped between my house & the neighbour's. Someone from the Council should be coming sometime to remove these, so I can hopefully get the gutters fixed. Then someone from the phone/internet company needs to come & move the phone socket.

You're right about SAD, I'm definitely a sufferer! I used to have a lamp, but I sold it one year when I wasn't affected. But it may well be time to get another one. Unfortunately, my gym is currently only open Mondays-Fridays, that's another thing I find helpful in the morning.

Well, I guess I should get on now. I have to write to my brother, then get on with my bath installation! I've just realised it's raining again, grr..

@Peridot1 @crimsonlake I'm currently just going through my plumbing stuff to see what I'll need to get. I'm missing a few things- which may be packed away, or maybe I've just run out of. Also, exploring the plumbing in this place, which is appalling! It looks like it's been patched-up in several places with lengths of plastic PVC pipe joined to copper, presumably to repair leaks. I think I'll probably end up having to re-do several parts of it! And the floorboards have been carved up all over the place, presumably to get to the plumbing & electrics...

Oh bless you Tzimi. Sorry this is all feeling a bit overwhelming. Great that you've had a new boiler and new shed installed and you've arranged for a new kitchen/ new windows / doors. Would it help to set yourself an action plan for each room so it breaks up all the work into manageable bits.

@TeaLibrary That's what I'm doing at the moment, starting with the bathroom. But in order to start on this, I had to first tidy the shed (after installing it & putting everything in it which belongs there!), so I knew where everything was. Then I could check to see if I had all the bits I needed. Now I'm fairly happy that I have everything I need to start the plumbing tomorrow. It seems to rain virtually all the time where I am, but tomorrow should be dry for a change! And a bit warmer! So, maybe things are looking up a bit??

It sounds like you're good with DIY and that will really help. Do one room at a time. It will hopefully make a big difference once you've replaced the windows and doors to eliminate draughts and leaks and make the house warm and snug.

@TeaLibrary It's a struggle though, because I've really fallen out of love with this house! Everywhere I look there are more bodges & problems. I think once I've got it half decent, I'll sell it & move somewhere else!

Sounds like it might be for the best if you did work essential to bringing the house up to a saleable standard and then putting it back on the market. It might help motivate you if you have a clear idea of where you might want to move to and an ideal timescale. That way you can start house hunting elsewhere

@TeaLibrary That's what I'm thinking too. I think I'd really like to move back down to the South-East. As for time scale, I'm thinking probably in the spring or early summer. I feel it might be an idea to rent for a little while before buying.

@TeaLibrary Sometimes I wish I could just go away from here, just like that, leave all my troubles behind..

Bless you my dear. Sorry everything feels so unsettled for you. Its horrible when you are living somewhere that you know you don't want to be

@TeaLibrary Actually, I made a start on fitting my new bath today, and I'm feeling a bit more upbeat now. I was a bit nervous about starting the work, but it's gone very well so far...

@TeaLibrary It looks as though it's going to be dry again tomorrow (if a little cooler), so I should hopefully make some more progress tomorrow...

That's good. Maybe if you are starting to see tiny progress then it won't seem like such a mammoth task and you will feel more positive about doing the necessary bits and then putting up for sale again

@TeaLibrary Well, as you can imagine, I'm feeling a bit stiff this morning! Today is the really fun part, fitting the new shower valve & bath filler, & seeing if ti all works. Then I can (hopefully) finally have a good soak in my new bath!