Accepting we will never afford to extend or move up the ladder?

[Onedropbeat]

Is anyone else i a similar position?

This is a tot wow is me post and I now there are people far worse off but I am having my own little putty party at the moment

I realised that despite both DH and I working hard, in jobs that are well paid, we will never be able to afford to extend or move meaning we are in a tiny 2 bed cottage for the foreseeable.

I feel bad because I grew up in a family where my dad worked and my mum stayed at home. There were 5 children and we all had our own room.

We don’t live far from them but il never be able to offer my children what we had growing up.

I hate that the jobs we have can’t be moved, and to stay near now elderly grandparents who rely on us means we are stuck living somewhere so expensive that a tiny 2 bed is all we can afford on a maxed out affordability mortgage over 30 years.

I sometimes dream of moving somewhere cheaper.not only could we reduce our mortgage by half but we could more than double the size of our house but then we wouldn’t be near family/work etc.

I always dreamed of working around the kids and being there for them but like many they are in childcare settings to allow us to work.

I can’t see a way out of this daily grindstone and feel that surly there is more to life than this?

I wanted to cut back on work in the new year but we need to remortgage in a year and to do that we need a minimum earning for it to be affordable to remortgage so there doesn’t seem to be any wiggle room in that despite us being able to afford day to day for us to earn slightly less as we live generally frugally without loans and subscriptions or expensive hobbies

Is there any other way?

Life's too short to stay somewhere you don't want to live. I changed careers last year so I get it's scary, plus I'm a single parent so my kids only have me to rely on financially. I'm also moving house as I had to rearrange finances. Your parents can follow you once you are settled if they rely on you. Don't worry about not having a 6 bedroom house! That's not doable in this day and age, unless you're very rich I imagine

Even a 3 bed house would be a dream

I always thought it would be manageable eventually and I’ve subsequently forced my children to be sharing a bedroom forever more (unless we relocate)

Might be the only way.

It does seem scary indeed. The friends, the family, the careers.
It would be all new

OP, whist the house is important it’s not the only thing that makes life good.

I think this year home has become soooooo familiar and sooooo dull and crappy feeling for lots of people, particularly as all the things that make your local area great for you have been in short supply (even if that’s only seeing friends & family).

I have a small house, and have realised that we’ll not be moving to bigger house in ideal location anytime soon. But I don’t want to uproot to move somewhere just because property costs less there. It’s only a house.

However we’ve decided to make more of what we’ve got (decluttering, better storage, redecorate, replace worn out furniture that doesn’t really fit, etc). You might already be super-organised so that might not help you!

“Cramped” not “crappy”!!!!

What is it that is really keeping you tied to this location? Are you really prepared to sacrifice everything else you want because your grandparents are used to relying on you? What do they rely on you for? Can that be altered with other family members or paid helpers helping out?

Lots of people in London and the south east are in the same situation.

Either you have a smaller home or you move some where cheaper or you change jobs/careers to something even more lucrative

It's not your fault - governments for the past three decades have allowed and encouraged rising house prices.

If your grandparents own five bed homes in your expensive area and require you to care for them, perhaps they could think about helping by selling and downsizing to a small property and give money to you.
Realistically most buyers of homes in expensive areas have assistance from their families.

What @MojoMoon said.

It's unfair on you, your DH and your children to stay living in a house that it too small for you all because you live in an expensive area so that you can help your parents. Your parents have the option to downsize and help you financially if they rely on your help now. I would absolutely do that if I were a wealthy grandparent and could see my daughter struggling so that she could care for me.