Sold and now renting

[Werk]

We completed on the sale of our house today and are now renting whilst our purchase goes through. We were due to be renting back from our buyer (a property developer who already owns the neighbouring house) but their solicitor warned them off at the last minute.
However, they did find us another house to move into via their contacts so things have worked out ok. Ish.

We got the keys to the rental last week and so have gradually moved ourselves and the removal vans brought the last big bits of furniture today.

I feel TERRIBLE though. Really anxious. I have removed my DC from the only home they have known (they are 5&3) and although the rental is actually quite nice and exceptionally clean it is not home. At the moment I feel like we have made a massive mistake. My eldest cried when I collected them from school and he knew he wouldn't be going "home".

Our purchase probably won't go through until March due to the current delays (our searches were ordered 3 weeks ago but aren't due back until the end of January!) and we have committed to this rental until April (it is usually an air bnb, not a long term rental) so we have some wriggle room.

I think I have just spent the last few weeks getting everything sorted out and haven't actually thought about the reality. I think I was in denial.

Reality has struck! WE HAVE ACTUALLY SOLD OUR HOUSE AND WILL NEVER GO BACK. I hated that house during lockdown and now I feel so sad. I think if we had gone straight into our new house it would be ok but this stop gap has given me major regrets.
I took my babies home to that house and now it is going to be ripped apart by developers (I knew this from the start but it has just hit me).

The worse thing is, I drove this sale along and DH has been pretty ambivalent (although he is excited about the house we are hopefully buying) so I can't even say anything to him.

What if our purchase doesn't go through?

WHAT HAVE I DONE 😱

Talk me down. It will be ok, won't it? It was just a house that was too small and we have a lot of £££ in the bank. We have options.

Is this a normal reaction?

I think if you have lived in a house and had life changing events whilst living there you look upon that house as a part of your family history where you were so happy.
When I sold our family home I cried and could not drive past it for a long time.
Now I live in a house that I wanted to buy and have loved being here, and had some more life changing events whilst living here, but it's now getting too big as people have left home and it needs to be looking after a new younger family.

I'm sort of looking for my next one. When I do make the decision to sell I will rent until I find exactly what I want.

You did the right thing and I wish you the best of everything in your new home. I think it is a brave move selling up and not to be taken lightly

It will be ok. I understand the upheaval but I do not believe in a forever home. Weve sold and are now renting and we are more than fine. I sold my absolutely favourite house a couple of years ago and I thought I'd be so upset but I was ok.

It's an adventure. I think you would have been miserable in too small a house through a pandemic in winter. Home is you and the children

Thank you for not making me feel like a complete fool @Anordinarymum

I don't know why I hadn't really thought all of this through. I was pretty blasé - "yeah, we'll sell and rent for a bit, it will be fine..." it's actually a pretty bold move for me. I am quite cautious usually.

I guess I would have felt sad for the old house whatever the circumstances. We will need to pass it quite regularly, especially once we have moved into the new house.

(And I will try to put out of my mind that our purchase could fall through).

@user1471538283 you are right. The old house was not a forever home. Even when we bought it we thought it would be for 5/6 years max. It has been 12!

We were reminiscing about when we moved in last night and DH had completely forgotten that we ended up with a two week gap between our tenancy ending and our purchase completing because we had misunderstood the notice period we had to give (we gave two months but at the time landlords only had to give one so they got us out earlier by hand delivering our notice at 11.30pm! The bastards! ) - we had all our things in storage and sofa surfed with friends. I suppose it shows that we forget the little blips.

The rental is a new build house so although the garden is ridiculously small the house itself is really high spec and feels spacious - DH has a proper office and we have a whole suite to ourselves! The sq footage of the bits of the house we are using (a bedroom is being used for storing all of the landlord's furniture so we can use ours and not worry about the DC destroying anything and we are using the garage for things we won't bother unpacking here) are similar to our new house.

Trying to see the positives!

You've put yourself in a strong position OP, think of it that way! You are chain free and ready to move swiftly in your purchase. Even if this purchase did fall through (fingers crossed, everything will go smoothly) you'll be a desirable buyer for any house you fancied. Your DC will get over it and settle into their new home. You will make new happy memories.

I wish we had done what you did when we moved cities. We sold our old house really quickly because it was lovely, but there was hardly any choice in our new location. DH was weirdly desperate to not have the "disruption" of finding a rental and "moving twice" - so we ended up settling for a house that I disliked.

And in the end we had to move twice anyway, because there was such a delay in the conveyancing for our purchase that we decided it was better to complete on our sale before the buyers got pissed off - we had to move in with PiL for several nightmarish weeks.

5 years on, I still hate the house. But my DDs have settled in perfectly well and can hardly remember their old house. That's the most important thing.

@TerrificEchidnaSpikes sorry you hate your house. I think I would feel even worse if I didn't love the house we are buying. I am glad to hear your children settled in nicely, I worry about mine: I am feeling so unsettled so they must be too.
Then we will need to do it all again 🙄

The actual moving wasn't too bad. Coming from a small house meant we don't have a huge amount of stuff anyway and the developers who we bought from gave us a skip free of charge as we only had 10 days to clear the house when we had expected to be able to stay - I basically chucked out the contents of our loft, I hope there was nothing useful up there! We also had a load of awful old furniture (mainly Ikea) which I have hated for years - I ditched the lot - I don't think it would have survived being taken down and put back up again anyway.

I have done this but many years ago. Relocation forced it and I sold it as a "holiday" before we got our real house. I tried to be really positive and all was well. It was a 3 month let. I think the kids pick up a vibe from you so try and fake it a bit!

kids that small will be confused but they will learn to cope. It is unsettling being in a temporary house, but it is just that, temporary.

BTW that 'rent back' idea would have been incredibly risky for your buyers so unsurprising it didn't happen.

hang in there and good luck - it will be over eventually!

Try not to worry. I moved from a long term rental into my first bought home, and I went through a similar emotional process.

After about three days I just kept crying. Wondered what the hell I had done, whether the kids were going to settle, whether I’d chosen the right location etc.

It’s going to be ok. Like you say, these few months will one day be a footnote in your family history!

I've just sold a house I hated and moved into temp accommodation, and although I was really glad to have sold it and get out of there, the reality of moving out has been tough! It's quite an upheaval and big adjustment. I definitely questioned it a few times.

But you'll look back and be so glad, it just takes a bit of time to adjust!

We’ve not gone into rental but I burst into tears leaving our house last week. I was fine until I looked back up the stairs as we were leaving & I realised we’d never go back up them to bath/bed time with our little ones! I just lost it.. similarly, it’s our girls only home they’ve known. & we moved to a new area.

I still feel a bit homesick but I do love the new house. Feels a bit like we are on holiday with all our things!

I’ve rented & moved a LOT in my younger life. This is house no.14 in 14 years .. we were in our last house for 5 years so I’ve moved more than once a year a few times! My top tip with renting is to treat it as your home no matter how long you plan to be there. Fully unpack & make it homely, especially for your girls. They’ll settle quickly, kids are surprisingly adaptable. And it’s easy to project your sadness & anxiety on them. I know I’m guilty of thinking my eldest will feel so worried/sad/anxious when actually, she coped fine! And actually it’s just me that’s worried!

And positives, you are in a lovely new build that’s spotless & spacious- a lovely stop gap!

@DiesalFive - I really started to hate the house in the end, it was too small, too tatty and I spent the whole of lockdown stuck in one room whilst DH worked. I think I was left traumatised! We had already decided to move before Covid but it was the nail in the coffin.

We got our Christmas tree today which has made it feel a bit more homely and we met some of the neighbours who seem relieved to have long term (ish) tenants rather than different air bnb guests every weekend.

My eldest is really acting up though and has been refusing to go to bed at night because he is scared 😞 last night it was after 10pm before he fell asleep - my youngest is up at 6am and so it didn't leave us much time to sleep ourselves!
The panicky feeling is subsiding a little. I am back to work tomorrow and so I hope that a bit of the usual routine will help.

I was in the same position as you 4 years ago. We had to move into rented so as not to lose our buyer when the sellers of the house we were buying pulled out.

Like you I had so many emotional ties to our old house. Happy memories of DC, who were 3 and 5 when we moved. We bought the house as our forever home and lived there 10 years however the local schools were dire so we felt we had no choice but to move.

I actually felt better once we were in the rental but every time I drove past I got a huge pang of sadness, especially when I thought of our friends and neighbours who lived close by.

Honestly though although it was tough at the time it was absolutely the right thing to do. We are now settled in our own house which has so many more positives in terms of location and community spirit etc than our old house. Both DC are settled in their schools. We have beautiful parks on the doorstep and a pub over the road

Despite all of the upheaval DC don't even remember our old house and I find that I rarely think about it now.

Remember your reasons for selling in the first place. Once the spring arrives you will be spoilt for choice when new properties come on the market and you will be in the best position possible to bag your dream home. This is a tiny segment of time on the scale of things and one day it will be a dim and distant memory. Hang in there!

We are about to do this so we don't lose our buyer. Vendor was supposed to be moving in with a partner, but that fell through and she is now buying a house.
We agreed to be in by Christmas so will move out next week and it will either be a month in Airbnb while vendor sorts herself out, or we will go into rented for 6 months and find a different house. It feels stressful but hoping it will feel better once our sale goes through.

You have sold to rent so are in a strong position now. I sold to rent. I am chain free no horrible move now I can take my time. I have just purchased a property and move in January. I can decorate the house before I move in with no mess around me. I would never move out of one house and exchange same day again after the last time.

Moving out is stressful and makes people emotional. When you move into rented and know you’ve got to move again in a few months, it’s not nearly as exciting as moving into YOUR house that you will be in for years...so that on top of the stress of moving is probably what has made you feel like that.
Perhaps your DC have picked up on the temporary nature of your move and that’s made them feel unsettled too. For little ones, I’d never talk about very far int he future but focus in the here and now and it’s very hard for them to think in terms of months. But don’t be too worrried about a few tears about not going o the old house....make the new one an exciting thing and having Christmas somewhere else exciting too. How about taking them to choose a wreath for the front door or some lights or something like that, specially for this house.

I can see how long drawn out timescales from starting to sell to getting into the new place add stress. But I expect that once you’re in the new place and even as you get closer and realise just how advantaged you are by now being chain free, you’ll think it was worth it.

At least you’ve got a couple of weeks until Christmas to get a bit settled and it’s not Christmas Eve or similar. Enjoy this Christmas which will be a one-off in lots of ways, including just one year in this house for Christmas. You’ll remember it and can make it a memory in their childhoods too.