In despair!

[MandalaYogaTapestry]

OK I know we are in South East but is it really unreasonable to expect that 700K would get you a 3-bed detached with a decent garden and dining area? Apparently not. Have been looking for a month, houses within the budget are either the same-ish floor area than ours (96 sq m) so not much point in moving. Or require more work and more money.

Only two months ago, if I look at SSTC prices, it was very possible. Have the prices exploded?

We have just missed out on a good house because even our upper limit was not enough and someone offered more. I am looking at a 400K+ mortgage at 41 as it is...

Funnily enough, we took the children to a couple of viewings of the houses which I really liked. They were not keen at all. Said that those houses didn't feel like an upgrade on our current house. All those properties were between 600-700 (ours is 400), larger footprint. Yet the children said that they felt like there was less space there.

Maybe ours is really not that bad!

And maybe we should indeed invest in some extension work and pay more into the mortgage for now.

Stay put they are happy!

If your DD has the smallest room she can switch if DS goes to uni or you could look at reconfiguring the walls to make her room bigger by stealing some space from one of the rooms next to it.

Give your house increased curb appeal?

I small single story extension wouldn't be anywhere near £200k!! You could do an amazing social space in the garden??

RandomMess I feel guilty for not having given them a better house when we were first buying. But we went for the space, garden size, catchment area for great schools, access to London routes and the green hills. And we got all of that. But we could only afford it with an ex-council one.

Ours really is a nice area (no offence to anyone living in not so nice coucil estates, there are a couple of far less desirable in other parts of our town and they have a distinctly different look and feel, I wouldn't buy there).

And I wanted a nicer house too. We saw 2 which made me feel like that's a completely different ball game, worth going through the hassle of moving, giving up our house, etc. But oh my God, the mortgage of 1700-1800 per month terrifies me even though we can technically afford it at our current salaries. DH is also against spending this much, he is late 40s.

I didn't realise that's how much the upgrade would cost. Didn't have any idea until I actually started looking inside the houses that you often don't get much for your money. They all look so pretty on the outside. But there is just not much special inside, on the opposite, there are compromises or more money spent on refurbishment (unless we go for £720k ones which is just so bloody expensive!). Just for a 3-4 bed family home, nothing fancy like wine cellars or swimming pools or acres of land.

Why do you feel guilty??

Your DC have had a much better home than MANY living in Surrey - security of not being in rented, a bedroom each. a garden, good schools, greens spaces, access to London.

I think you need to deal with why you think that isn't "good enough" your DC will probably benefit more from you being able to take them places, have experiences that all that extra spent on a mortgage for a house they aren't keen on.

I do think in Surrey there is more pressure to keep up with the Jones and your house being a status symbol, well your postcode!

You can probably afford to pay for their driving lessons and insure them on a car - what a great life skill to give them.

You have an issue with it being ex council, why? They don't 🤷🏽‍♀️

Am I reading this correctly, you have mid late teens, in your 40's, current house works for you, in the area you want? Why would you want to increase your mortgage so much at your age, just lunacy.

Surely it would be better to have more disposable income? I know when my DC were at Uni it was great that we could help them, give them treats and generally enjoy having some spare cash.

RandomMess only one of my friends, school mums, etc. Lives in an ex council house. Everybody else has a better house. So you are quite right, lots of Jones's to keep up with!

I am not the only one having issue with it being ex council, why else would they cost £100k less than much smaller houses 300 yards away?

Both DH and I are on very good salaries, we are in professional jobs, we are the kind of people who you would presume to live in a nice house. We just bought ours quite late, and yes, an expensive area. I don't mean to sound presumptious, I realise I am very lucky to own a house. And here I am.

You can buy a massive 5 bedroom detached house with garden for 550K up in the NE, shocking how expensive houses are in the SE.

doodleygirl yes, It's a good area of a town, very desirable. There are private owned streets and there are council ones, next to one another. I live in the council bit, would like to live in the private bit.

Your house as a status symbol - yes, very true. Isn't it the case anywhere, not just in Surrey?

Wanted to say that I really appreciate everyone's opinions, it helps to see a bigger picture.

Whilst I think the majority suggestion by pp to stay put for now is the best, surely affordability is affected by income. You talk about the mortgage on these 600k properties being high but it depends I guess on the proportion of your income? Does it have potential to rise further?

I can totally understand your feelings. You have the advantages of a large house in a good area, but it's ex-local authority. It meets your needs and your children are happy there. At the end of the day you have to decide how much it's worth to you to pay that huge premium to get into a house which isn't ex-council.

I would bear in mind how useful that money you would be spending on a huge mortgage could be - helping your children at Uni, maybe saving for future house deposits for them, and also thinking of your own pensions and your needs in retirement. Those years pass so quickly and you'll have that empty nest before your know it!!!!!!

If I were in your position, I would not consider buying in this present bubble but monitor the market and maybe look again next summer or autumn when things might have stabilised a bit. The caveat to that is that as obviously Surrey is so desirable the prices may not dip by that much, but there may well be more choice. There are always compromises, however much your budget is.

If prices dip for buying next year, they will also dip for the OP selling. So I'm not sure that will make much difference?

Reading all your updates I find it a bit ridiculous that at 41 and with teenagers you’re planning to take on a £400k mortgage just to keep up with your pals.
Unfortunately, you come across as a bit of a snob, you have a house that your DC are happy in, learn to be content, if I was you I’d aiming to be mortgage free in preparation for the uni years, extend? make the most of the home you are lucky enough to have and stop caring about image.

SBTLove you may be right about the snob thing as the idea of moving is partly for the sake of keeping up with appearances. Does it make all people I know snobs too, who chose to buy in private areas, not ex-council?

You are absolutely right about £400k being a huge mortgage at 41.

CarHire I am not sure that I will be earning this much in 5-10 years. So yes, that's a consideration too.

Unfortunately, the prices are in the region of £700k+, not even £600.

No it doesn’t make them all snobs, maybe they have other reasons or easier afford it.
But buying purely for appearances and taking on a large unneccessary mortgage is, to me is madness. Your kids will be gone before you know it and you’ll saddled with a house you bought for really daft reasons. Have you even budgeted for uni on top of the £400k mortgage?
Clear your mortgage, rethink in a few years when you may very well prefer to downsize.

People move up to bigger and better houses all the time so it is a bit disingenuous to present me as a snob for wanting to do the same.

It will be an affordable mortgage in terms of monthly payments (25% of combined net salaries) and there will be money left over for uni and pensions.

I am very risk averse in general though so a £400k debt terrifies me and I am not convinced that the purchased house would be good value compared with what I have now.

Arguably it would still be a good investment which can be sold if need be.

@MandalaYogaTapestry yes IME it is much more of a thing in Surrey, not amongst those who can only just afford to own their home but those on good salaries etc very very much so.

Up here and where I grew up people only really care about that it's nicely decorated and the outside and gardens are so kept nice.

If you feel judged by friends and families what does that say about them???

It's a self fulfilling prophecy. People perceive that the ex council houses are beneath them and continually push up the price of private builds and the the snobbery come in as it becomes "we can afford to live here".

You will have loads more disposable income than some of your friends so enjoy the lack of stress and opportunities that gives you.

Your reasons for moving are snobbish, you admit you ‘should’ live in a nicer house because of job/salary, by whose standards?
Guilt for your kids, who don’t really care.
All misplaced ideas, at 41 you should be sensible enough not to care what anyone else thinks, no way would I take on £400k debt just to ‘look’ the part 🙄
You have comfortable home with enough space, you only want to move to acquire some ‘image’

I wouldn't move in GCSE / A level years unless unavoidable as whole process is stressful. I have slightly younger children and I don't think children care much if at all about things like is a house detached, is it pretty. Mine would maybe care about the space they have in the house but even then that's often more to do with the decor and furniture than the house.

I think its much better to have a smaller or no mortgage and I would stay put until at least after A levels. After that I might consider moving as free of school catchments but I would be aiming to be mortgage free not very indebteded as it brings you so much freedom. You can save more easily, don't have to worry about losing jobs / health problems, you can spend more more on holidays and fun things. We used to live in an area which was very flash your cash - I never got involved and just got what worked for us. I noticed it also seemed futile as there was always one person who would go way over the top and double what everyone else had spent to win (normally a divorce follows shortly after )

Asking prices in my part of London have gone up but sold prices not really. Quite a few sales fallen through too.

You are in the same position as many of my friends, neighbours. 6 figure ish household income, 200k-300k equity/deposit & still struggling to find something they like that they can afford. It's pretty ridiculous when you think about it.

I'm nearer 50 and we are virtually mortgage free, sure I sometimes consider us moving to a stunning grand Victorian 4 storey terrace and we could afford it but the about I think about my DC that intends to go to medical school and think better of it...