Tips to cope with the brain overdrive abs stress levels

[Mykittensmittens]

We accepted an offer last week and has an offer accepted 3 days later.

I am NOT usually an anxious person but can overthink if something worries me, and tend to be a person who will move mountains to solve problems rather than have to ruminate on them.

Last time we moved DH worked away a lot and I was on mat leave so most of the administering fell to me. This time he’s around and I work in a far more pressured job with longer hours so he’s taken the mantle of liaising with our lender and solicitor.

However I’m just such a stress head about it all. I’m worrying about their survey tomorrow (no idea why, there is nothing specific to worry about and it’s a relatively new house). I’m worrying about the lenders appt he has via phone on Friday (we have the DIP but I’ve got it stuck in my head that lenders are failing people for all sorts of reasons). I worry (without any foundation) that our lender will pull out. When I’m not worrying about those things I’m worrying about the stamp duty window closing (and this has to go through in that time, basically).

Mostly I’m worrying at 2/3/4 am and I’m absolutely shattered.

Am I not normal? Does everyone feel like this? If they do how do they/you cope? I’ve just tried to read my book in the bath and my mind just constantly wandered....

Fat finger typos. Sorry.

I had this massively during the buying/selling process though weirdly, not now we're in a chain. It's normal. It's a big life change plus lots of admin and all during a pandemic. I used to write a 'download' of everything on my mind every morning, set timer for 5 minutes and write. Sounds like it's going pretty smoothly - we accepted offer a month ago and no exact date for survey yet! Good luck I'm sure it will all work out

Thank you for replying. It’s like a massively overactive mind and I’m really very relieved my DH is calmly just ploughing on with whatever is required. But I’ve literally got jangling nerves - my period is quite late which often happens with stress for me. And as I say my sleep is appalling. I just can’t think with so many steps to go through everything will be ‘fine’ - our last house move wasn’t - on the day of moving we had one of those bank glitches (it was a national issue that made the news) where the sale went through but the purchase didn’t and we were effectively homeless for 24 hours. Just thinking about that now makes me feel sick all over again!

I’ve really struggled. I still am. I’m on mat leave & it’s fallen mostly to me to do everything. I’m naturally way more organised, so it probably would have anyway. And it’s been exhausting. We used an online agent so it’s been me doing all the liaising with our buyer as well. Thankfully they are lovely. We’ve hit yet another stumbling block today, my brain is struggling to take much more.. I’m bracing myself for bad news. & I think if it is bad news, I can’t see a way out of this one. I feel sick this evening.

I’m one of the worlds most optimistic people but house buying has broken me!

Sorry, I realise that’s not too helpful 🙈 my coping tips are chocolate, playing with my children, some fresh air and trying to look at the bigger picture. There are much much worse things. I have a warm, safe home. If it all goes wrong, it’ll be hard but it won’t ruin our lives.

Oh I am sorry you’re having a rough time. I’m not sure whether doing it all is for the best or not. Sometimes I’m happy DH is doing it and others I just think I can’t avoid any of it and he tells me anyway, so who knows! My DC are slightly older and don’t need me quite so much but I remember doing this before with small DC and it was very hard. If you ever want a moan I don’t mind!

I'm an over thinker and prone to being anxious, I'm also not naturally patient.

So the whole process has been a nightmare, mainly the uncertainty of it all, we have had lots of unexpected things go wrong.

What has helped me, is writing LOTS of lists. Just empty your head of the what if's and write all scenarios down, and anything you can think of that will need doing.

Every day I'm adding to mine crossing some stuff out etc, and it's helped hugely, to the point I'm sleeping again and not jumping with fear every time the phone rings.

Never moving again!!

Oh and spending 10 hours yesterday watching Disney films, that helped!

note: I don't have kids...

No I’m never moving again ever - but this move is with that in mind so that’s doable!

Disney would make my brain leak in all directions. My concentration is appaling. Candy crush is sadly one resort but then playing that late at night doesn’t help the sleep. Reading only works if it’s good enough to hook me in. Wine helps. Till 3am then I’m wide awake even worse. Sorting stuff out helps but then I get paranoid it’s for nothing, even though it isn’t as it needs doing anyway.

We have weeks of this ahead - 10 weeks probably - it’s going to do me in!

Haphap I am like you. I am finding the process very hard. I can’t relax, my day is wasted overthinking and over analysing the situation and generally feeling anxious and fed up. What makes it worse is not seeing any alternatives on the market. There is a possibility, I don’t know how big or small, that we may have to walk away from our dream home. Waiting to see how the problem is resolved (it’s out of our hands) is nerve wracking.

OP I have no tips on coping 😀 sorry but I wanted you to know that you are not alone.

I’m on a break from drinking alcohol so I don’t have that to drown my sorrows. I wanted the next time I drink to be celebrating signing contracts and getting the keys.

@Foeveryoung1

Haphap I am like you. I am finding the process very hard. I can’t relax, my day is wasted overthinking and over analysing the situation and generally feeling anxious and fed up. What makes it worse is not seeing any alternatives on the market. There is a possibility, I don’t know how big or small, that we may have to walk away from our dream home. Waiting to see how the problem is resolved (it’s out of our hands) is nerve wracking.

OP I have no tips on coping 😀 sorry but I wanted you to know that you are not alone.

I could have written every word. The lack of alternatives. The pulling out. No stamp duty exemption means we will have to pull out. I’m sorry to take small comfort in your situation being the same but honestly, it’s hand wringing territory for me.

Just had a bath with a book. Re-read the same page 4 times, gave up and got out. I might follow your booze tip even though I’m quite restrained mon-fri anyway.