Extend or possibly move?

[Babybrain26]

Our home is a 1950’s build in a very desirable area, good schools etc. We just had a baby last year who is now 10.5 months. The internal layout of the house is not great, tiny kitchen, no bathroom only a separate shower and toilet. The third bedroom is also very small. We submitted plans in May for a double storey extension to solve the issues a bit, which has been approved and we are currently awaiting building control. In July however one of our neighbours behind us, went against our wishes, crossed our boundary and cut our trees. We then involved the police to verbally warn him not to do it again, as we had already asked him twice (phone call and letter) and he ignored us. Our neighbours beside us are also strange, they listen To everything we say to builders/workmen in our garden and then tend to go a bit ‘mad’ if we plan to do anything to our home. They didn’t formally object but loudly shout about how horrible we are as neighbours, hoping we’ll put our home up for sale, how silly we are to do the extension now, as we did our driveway a few years ago etc. They are far from the best.

Initially also my husbands family (who are builders) said they would help us with the build, which took away a good bit of my stress, but now when we have contacted them with the approvals and paperwork they are reluctant to respond. Other contractors are of course quite pricey compared, but it’s doable.

We have also recently found out we are pregnant with baby #2 due in May which has complicated things. We don’t know whether to go ahead with the plans or try and find a house now and move before baby is born. I’m concerned though about declaring such a recent neighbour dispute if selling. We’re keeping an eye out for other houses, but truthfully don’t really want to move despite everything (even though it probably would be easier with 2 babies). We’re just not sure whether to give in to a move in a less desirable area or stay and endure an extension.

I think I could endure the extension works for a few months but I couldn’t endure the neighbours.

How bad is the cheaper area that you’d move to?

If your neighbours are strange, it’s probably best to avoid them as much as you can if you can. Sometimes neighbours are jealous that’s why they act a bit strange. Try and not let them get to you. It’s cheaper to stay there than move house as you will have to go through the process of house hunting, solicitors fees, stamp duty etc.
We are in the middle of having an extension done. I highly recommend getting a good contractor who will foresee all the jobs. It is definitely worth the money. Find one on recommendation if you can.

Building work can irk the most friendly neighbours, even though it’s only for a limited time , just do what needs to be done and try not to be intimidated by them.

It depends how much you love the house and the area. Can you see yourself living there in the foreseeable future and being happy there. Weigh up the costs of renovation to the costs of moving to another house.

Well, there’s a house in the next street to us at the moment which isn’t too bad, my only concerns are that It’s possibly noisier as it’s closer to the road, and it would be a bit more vulnerable to break ins because of its situation. The kitchen is lovely though and there’s a good bathroom too. The bedrooms have no storage though, and I think we would need to view it to get a better idea of their size. It’s priced at 270k and the cheapest quote for the work so far is 48k but my husbands cousin quoted quite a bit less than that originally, so it depends if they get back to us.

Our current house has amazing views though which we would lose my moving, but the Downside is, there are steps to access it/ a steep driveway, also the garden has steps too which we planned to fence off but could be dangerous for kids. The other potential house has easier access and a flatter garden. I think our house would possibly be worth around 235k as it is. It’s tough.

I maybe should mention on the listing for the other house, the current residents had submitted plans to extend there too in January this year, but have put it up for sale instead.

If you're already having issues with your neighbours before works have started, be prepared for it to get even worse when you start. It does disrupt neighbours (noise / dirt / inconvenience) so if they're already disgruntled, they'll be worse. Also, having had a double storey extension (it took about 7 months), I wouldn't fancy that with a toddler and a new born. It's do-able, but not easy. All of that would make me think its easier to move.

BUT- if the house was in my preferred location, with good schools on hand, and everything else was perfect other than the neighbours, it makes financial sense to extend rather than to move. Tough choice.

Thanks for the thoughts everyone. To be fair the other house isn’t that far away, and we would still have access to the same schools etc. I think being so close by though I’d still miss our current house if I moved (but not the neighbours,lol)

I wouldn’t worry about the neighbours. To be honest you can’t please everyone. It’s your house and not the neighbours house. If you prefer the house you are currently in, stay there. How often do you see the neighbours anyway. Just avoid them. If you see them, just be polite and civil. If they want to be rude and difficult it’s up to them. You do not have to stoop to their level.
Location, location, location. You obviously thought through when you bought this house especially as it’s in a desirable area and close to good schools. That’s really important when you have children.
Make a list of the pros and cons of staying in this house or moving to another house.

Thanks everyone. I think we’re going to go ahead with the extension. We would like to get started ASAP for obvious reasons. The quote at 48k was from a builder recommended by our architect.They have said they can start the job in 2 weeks.

Our family still has not responded to our emails, we don’t want to offend them, but we really need to know if they can help us soon or not. Financially they were estimating a much better price but I don’t want to have to keep begging them to look at their emails. How long should we give them to respond? We emailed a week ago and asked on Monday and they said they hadn’t looked at their emails yet (they therefore don’t know about our pregnancy or new time constraints). Just anxious about causing a family rift if we seem pushy/ have to go with another builder but we really need to know soon...

Ring them!

I would say the lack of response means they're not really interested. I'd be reluctant to get building work done by family members unless we were all on very good terms and even then, only if it was done properly with specific agreement in place as to cost, scope, insurance etc.

Having said that, unless you mean you've had the other builders lined up for a while and their start date is 2 weeks away, builders (well, good builders) are inundated at the moment - we're waiting for almost a year for a start date for ours as they're booked up until next June. If builders can start at short notice, I'd be very wary.

We are living through a 2 storey extension with a now 12 month old and it has been awful. It was meant to take 4 to 6 months, we are currently on month 10 and hoping to be done within a year. Our neighbours got so fed up with our builders they keyed our car. I would recommend moving over extending.

Gosh weeping willow that's just awful. I hope its completed soon for you. Tbh that's my nightmare, it running over (which I'm sure it will) but hopefully not by too much. Maybe we wont stop house searching then, I'm just worried about selling and the neighbour dispute. And we're really not sure where else to move to.

I've just messaged them again so we'll see if they respond.

Sorry to be so negative babybrain. We are in the middle of it which is not helping. I am sure by the time it is done we will be pleased we did it. Covid certaintly hasn't helped although I think our builders are to an extent blaming their delays on covid unnecessarily. There is also a shortage of tradespeople atm which makes subcontracting tricky. Next year when the recession kicks in you might be in a stronger position to hire trades.

Thanks for your honesty though weeping willow. I needed to hear it.

Hi OP, we've just extended and renovated (dug foundations before lockdown1, paused for that time, resumed major works in June, moved out immediately (!) and moved back 2 weeks ago.

We'd waited 6 months for our lovely builders who were recommended and trusted, and they have indeed done a great job for us - house is lovely and works have turned out as we'd hoped.

Pros: we love the house now!
Cons: took 25% longer than planned. Cost 30% more than budgeted. Several stressful and at the time incomprehensible moments bought me to tears, even though not living on site. Had to bite my tongue to prevent falling out with builders! So overall about 50% harder than I'd expected :)

We are financially really screwed, would not recoup our spend if we sold tomorrow. BUT we're planning to stay put for at least 10 years so hopefully in the long term it will work out...

Background: we were in a real rush to move, had ended up 'between homes' with a toddler so couldn't wait for a dream house to appear. This house is lovely, location amazing, but needed lots of work. We did our homework, surveyor estimated costs and had 3 trusted builders quote too - all at a similar level, all MUCH BELOW what we spent.

Obviously no regrets, but after this experience I think in future I'd move over extend. Much easier to know where you stand financially costing up superficial works vs major structural stuff!

Only other observation is that I do think some people are more temperamentally suited to coping with this sort of stress. Have had a couple of friends do similar and it all really seemed not to affect them - so possibly I'm just an over-sensitive diva type who should leave the extending to hardier souls! But like you I'm preggo and have been throughout the works, which I think gave the whole thing a bit of a hormonal/exhausted spin that didn't help...

Best of luck whatever you decide

Thanks woolly mammoth. That’s also one of my fears, it going over budget substantially and costing a lot more than we’d hoped. Our cheapest quoted builders were recommended by our architect, and yes they said they could start within 2 weeks which at first didn’t concern me, but now reading a few opinions on here do make me wonder a little. I am worried about the stress while pregnant although I’m aware moving isn’t stress free either. I’m trying to think if we can manage in the house as it is, but it wouldn’t be easy. Overall It’s such a tricky situation.

Also if it means anything, the architect recommended builders are FMB registered. I can’t find any online reviews for them though.

Ok, so I totally messed up, I misunderstood the quotation break down and it turns out the recommended builders quote actually works out at 65k. I emailed the other builder who quoted 60k (and is recommended locally) and he said he would start in February and it would take around 20 weeks. So if I went with him, I would be coming out of hospital, probably to another house we’d have to rent. There’s no way it would be done in time. The other builder that could start in 2 weeks said it would take around 16 weeks to do approx. This is a nightmare.

If you've got awkward neighbour's behind and to the side I'm not sure I'd want to spend a big chunk of money on a house I'm not sure I want to remain in

I think you need to decide if you're going to stay or leave first

Did the neighbour that cut your trees climb over your fence? I assume you must have some sort of divide

Would the oddballs next door object to your extension?

No neighbours objected to the planning application.

Behind our trees there were original boundary posts which once had wire going through them to mark the boundary, but the wire disintegrated/wasn’t there but we were not aware of this until he started cutting our trees. The posts however remained and clearly marked the boundary, the neighbour reached over the top to cut the tops and back of our trees, they now look awful and were once really lovely. Made us love the property originally. It was pretty upsetting. We now have a 6 ft fence in place along the boundary posts.

So, the cousins just got back to us and have completely back tracked on the price they originally quoted, saying that they now can’t do any better than the quotes we got. If they’d gave us a real estimation at the start, we could’ve made a more informed decision then, before paying for surveys, building control apps etc. And now we’re left with doing the work at a much higher cost than originally thought or having to move. So disappointed and stressed.

They obviously don't want to do the work.