ARGH! Why is it so difficult to get workmen to do things??!!

[iwouldgoouttonight]

We're planning an extension to our house - have already paid for planning permission and it has been refused unless we change our plans. So we need to talk to our surveyor who drew up the plans (he came recommended from a friend and has so far been really helpful) but he's not returning our calls. He was on holiday but we know he's back now.

We also need to find a builder to give us a quote so that we have an idea how much it will cost before spending any more money (they wouldn't quote until the plans were drawn up). We have called three who were all highly recommended. One did some work for us before and we were really pleased with him. He's now not returning our calls. Another asked us to send him the plans and he'd give us a quote, which we did. He now isn't returning our calls. And the other said he'd call back to arrange a time to come round to look at the house. This was over a week ago - and we've not heard anything!

I know good builders are busy but its really p*ing me off now - this has been going on for over three months. If they're like this at this stage what are they going to be like at the building stage?! I'm starting to worry that I've got some odd speech disorder which makes me think I've said 'hello, we'd really appreciate it if you could give us a quote for some building work' but what actually comes out of my mouth is 'hello, I despise everything about you and will castrate you if you ever try to call me again'.

Start again with new workmen.

I have learnt that you have got to be sooo pushy with builders and the like. If you still want any one these builders to do the job, make a pest of yourself until they take notice. You are not trying to be friends with them, so you can afford to be be tough!

Saying that, so many builders have got so much work on, they can afford to be rude and not answer potential customers calls. Speak to a few friends and see if they have any good builders they can recommend. Best of British luck to you.

Thats the frustrating thing - they were all recommended by friends and we've seen the work they've done and are really pleased with it. Would rather go with someone recommended but looks like we'll just have to get someone out of the yellow pages and hope for the best at this rate!

my builder was supposed to bulid me a wall today but he 'clean forgot' par for the course i am afraid

All builders work on a principle of keeping your expectations very low so that you will forgive them for disappearing for days on end, won't hassle them if the work is a bit dodgy, come to accept it as normal if they blank your telephone calls etc. It is absolutely second nature to them and is now self-perpetuating: if they know you can't be bothered, they don't chasing up; if they know you are desperate, they exploit that. They behave like the world's worst boyfriends.

Persist if you have found ones that are really good but I would keep your surveyor on board to draw up a very precise spec and tender so that, once the project is under way, damage can be limited.

Good luck