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London vs Cornwall - where's best to raise a family?

57 replies

nc20 · 12/10/2020 16:21

DH and I currently live in London with our DD, who is six months old. DH has been given the opportunity to move down to Cornwall for his work, to the Penzance/Newlyn area - and we're now in a complete muddle over what to do!

We've lived in London for quite a while and have lots of friends here plus some family about two hours away. I love the huge amount of culture on offer, the countless great restaurants, museums and fabulous parks and public spaces.

On the other hand, I can't stand the pollution and worry about schools (actually the primaries near us are fine, but the secondaries are not so good). I also find living in London quite stressful and "full on" sometimes - I think it's just being in such close proximity to so many people.

Cornwall is absolutely beautiful and I love the thought of having a slower, quieter pace of life, with lots of walks in the countryside and on the beach. The thought of having a much lower mortgage (by over £1000 per month!) also appeals to me. I grew up in a rural area and totally adored it, but I'm aware that not all children do.

My main worry about moving to Cornwall is that I'm really afraid we won't make any friends and will be totally isolated (I've read other threads on MN where people say the Cornish aren't very welcoming to outsiders - no idea how true that is). I also worry about lack of job opportunities for DD when she's older, and am scared we will get down there, hugely regret it and be miserable.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
nc20 · 12/10/2020 16:23

I forgot to say, the amazing diversity of London is also a big reason for staying here.

It's such a hard decision!

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/10/2020 16:26

I think it seems idyllic to raise a younger child in a more rural environment, but for older children/ teenagers I would rather be in London. Lots to do, less ferrying of them, more job oops etc. As for the fear of schools etc, depends where in London, plenty of schools out side for zone 3 which are decent/ grammar etc.
Also have you been in Cornwall in winter or are you judging based on summer holiday weather?

nc20 · 12/10/2020 16:30

I've not been to Cornwall in winter, but I did grow up in a very rural area with long cold winters. We were snowed in a number of times!

I'm on the zone two/three border in London at the moment. I think we would have to move in 11 years time if the secondaries near us haven't improved - unless DD gets a bursary to one of the private schools... but I'm guessing they're like gold dust!

OP posts:
DumpedOnFromGreatHeight · 12/10/2020 16:30

Probably neither. Is there not a middle ground - somewhere else you can move to? Personally I found the move out of London huge -let alone to somewhere like Cornwall.

Bettyfromduggee · 12/10/2020 16:33

I would move to Cornwall in a heartbeat. The countryside on your doorstep is beautiful no matter the time of year. You will definitely make friends especially having a young child, it's quite easy to meet people via toddler groups, nursery, preschool etc. Also £1k a month saving on the mortgage is a huge amount, that's £12k per year which could be spent on amazing adventures/activities as a family and some great holidays.

nc20 · 12/10/2020 16:34

Sorry to drip feed... but I forgot to say that our budget is £300,000. I'm not sure how far that gets you in the Penzance/Newlyn area!

OP posts:
lynsey91 · 12/10/2020 16:34

Cornwall is lovely but no way would I want to live there.

It's packed in summer with tourists and the roads can't cope and are a nightmare. I don't imagine it's great there in winter.

London is a great place for children and adults. I would stay where you are.

If you are happy living in London and have friends there it is quite likely you would find it a real shock to move to somewhere like Cornwall.

I speak from experience as we moved out of London to Cambridgeshire. That was 20 years ago and we still regret it. We live in the Midlands now which we both like but we go back to London (or did before covid) about once a month for a couple of days.

We have never been able to afford to move back but both say if we won the lottery we would

Bettyfromduggee · 12/10/2020 16:35

Oh and with that much money saved each month, you could easily afford to take some occasional long weekend trips back up to London and stay in a nice hotel, see a show, do all the museums etc if you wanted to. Don't forget as well that there's a lot of culture on offer in more rural parts of the country, but it tends to look a bit different... like Morris dancing! In all seriousness, there are lots of museums and attractions in Cornwall especially because of the tourist trade, and they are much quieter outside of the summer holidays so plenty to do at weekends etc.

nc20 · 12/10/2020 16:35

You will definitely make friends especially having a young child, it's quite easy to meet people via toddler groups, nursery, preschool etc.

I'm so nervous that we won't, as neither of us have any Cornish roots. We're quite a sociable couple and I worry that we will be completely alone!

OP posts:
beachbodhi · 12/10/2020 16:40

It would be a no brainer for me but I'm born and raised in Devon with a Cornish husband . I wouldn't want to raise my kids anywhere else it's just so beautiful and lots to see and do even in the winter . Theres the Penzance to Paddington train so it's not completely cut off . If you're right down the end then you're not far from exploring the both coasts -the Atlantic's coastline with the miles of sand and jagged cliffs and then the south with the beautiful little coves - not far from Plymouth or Exeter if you kiss a bit of city x

beachbodhi · 12/10/2020 16:41

*miss a bit of city
People are friendly too you just need to find your tribe , always lots of little local things going on / food & music festivals

FightMilkTM · 12/10/2020 16:42

I wouldn’t.
People think of it as idyllic but it’s rammed with tourists in summer and it’s just SO grey and wet in winter. We never lived in a house that didn’t have a problem with damp. It’s essentially made up of deprived ex-mining towns. There is one ‘major’ hospital servicing the entire county.
You have to travel 2/3 hours through Cornwall and Devon to even reach the ‘mainland’ if you want to go anywhere in GB.

Can you tell I’m glad to be out? Grin

FightMilkTM · 12/10/2020 16:45

And yes, there is a ‘direct’ line to London. Expect it takes 6 hours and you’re lucky to get change out of £100 so it’s not exactly a case of ‘popping’ to London.
Quicker to visit most of Europe if you live in the South East.

JoJoSM2 · 12/10/2020 16:45

www.compare-school-performance.service.gov.uk/compare-schools

Schools are much better in London than elsewhere, especially in outer London.

I can’t quite see how you’d need to move in 11 years for secondary since you apply when children are 10 and you already have a child?

If she’s currently a baby, your husband could always take the job and you could see how you find the change in lifestyle. Your current property could be rented out for the time being to see how your Cornish adventure goes.

I also wonder if you’re now more of a city than country person given you live so centrally and haven’t moved to outer London or the commuter belt.

beachbodhi · 12/10/2020 16:47

This pic is Hayle Towans last summer - 3 miles long and never packed 😍

London vs Cornwall - where's best to raise a family?
nc20 · 12/10/2020 16:47

I can’t quite see how you’d need to move in 11 years for secondary since you apply when children are 10 and you already have a child?

Sorry, yes - we'd need to move in about 10 years if the secondaries near us haven't improved.

OP posts:
Persipan · 12/10/2020 16:50

Bear in mind that Cornwall is a long way from basically everywhere. I live in Devon and it still surprises me every time I go to Cornwall how bloody far away it is!

HowFastIsTooFast · 12/10/2020 16:54

Could you rent your London place out, rent in Cornwall for a year and see how it goes?

Titsinknicks · 12/10/2020 17:00

Don't sell your London home!! If you're going to try it then TRY it. Rent in Cornwall.

I am a born and bred Londoner so biased. I have friends from Devon and Cornwall who obviously now live in London. I think like a pp said it's probably great for little ones and boring for teens. So many opportunities in London - not just for jobs but being exposed to different cultures, schools are good.

SheepandCow · 12/10/2020 17:09

OP is hardly going to worry about somewhere being 'packed with tourists' if she currently lives in London - which is full of tourists year round!

Where are you from OP? If you're looking to bring your dc up rurally would you consider where you grew up? Do you still have a support network there? Any job opportunities for you or your dh?

Cornwall is beautiful and has a lot to offer families, not least a healthier lifestyle, but unfortunately a small but vocal minority of locals can be rather insular towards outsiders. If you can mentally prepare for that (and bear in mind most people are fine) I agree with a pp. Rent out your current home and try renting in Cornwall for a year to see how it goes.

friendlycat · 12/10/2020 17:09

I would also suggest seeing if you could rent your London place out and rent in Cornwall for a year at least to see how you feel about it all. Then no bridges burnt.
It's a massive move away from Zone 2/3 London to Cornwall.
I'm much older than you and moved from a similar SW London zone to a market town in Hampshire. Boy the difference is huge and I'm only just getting used to it. I know if I was much younger I would be regretting this a lot.

The other thing is that the journey times to Cornwall are so vast, the traffic is so bad in the Summer, you really will be quite cut off from friends etc as they will perhaps make the journey a few times when weather is great etc but then will find it too time consuming and too far on an ongoing basis. Far best to test the water out first and see how you get on with it. If it then doesn't work out you move back to London - if you are in the position of renting out your London home.

Tollergirl · 12/10/2020 17:11

We moved down to Cornwall 20 years ago from London (born and bred Londoner myself). I really don't recognise the whole "Cornish are unwelcoming" thing - we have never been made to feel unwelcome. We have made friends who are true Cornish and also those who have moved here from all over the UK (and further afield). With young children you have the perfect opportunity to meet people and make friends - toddler groups, pre-schools etc are ideal places in my experience.

Our DC are teenagers now and we do spend a lot of time in the car driving them here, there and everywhere as we are fairly rural. Yes they do moan sometimes but show me a teenager who doesn't! They had a great time a primary school and enjoyed so much fresh air and freedom and still enjoy outdoor activities and the beaches.
There are definitely things I miss about London and we have taken them there for different experiences over the years, but you are a long way from anywhere (which can be good and bad depending on your outlook).

The winters can be long, wet and muddy (if you live rurally) and there are many things that you won't find such as shopping malls, multiplexes and 24 hour takeaways (although that will depend on where you live).

Obviously this year has been quite different in terms of what's open, although this summer it was still heaving with tourists which is something you have to be prepared for. We are near Newquay which is actually full of people who have come from other places along with those who've been here for several generations.

I don't know Penzance or Newlyn well but there are some lovely spots around that way and you'll get great fresh fish (if you're not vegetarian)!

I think you will find it a culture shock initially and it is not very ethnically diverse which could be something that puts you off. There are children at my DC school from BAME backgrounds but they are definitely in the minority which may also influence your decision. We're still not sure whether we'll be here forever and firmly expect our DC to leave and see the world (if that's possible in the next few years??) but we don't regret bringing them up here at all. In my experience many people move here to enjoy the outdoors and all that it offers. When it's good weather it's paradise, when it's rained non stop for 3 months ... not so much! Sometimes I really miss pavements ...

Best of luck xx

HoneyBee03 · 12/10/2020 17:16

I live in Cornwall. I moved here about 5 years ago and have more friends and a better social life than I've ever had. I'm closer to the Devon border though and to drive to Penzance does seem like a mission.

I have a toddler and I'm so happy to bring him up here. DH grew up in Cornwall and the memories he has as a child sound wonderful. It's true that there are fewer opportunities in terms of career and a lot of teenagers round my way head to Falmouth or Plymouth university. A lot of young people also end up in Bristol and a few of our friends have recently moved back to Cornwall from Bristol to bring up their children.

Would your DH have people at work who may be happy to show you around, have dinner and drinks, etc? Also you're likely to meet a few mums if you go to toddler groups.

ramblingsonthego · 12/10/2020 17:28

My husband is from Cornwall and some of his family still live there. It is great for younger kids, but like others have said teens are bored. If you sold up in London it is very very hard to then sell up in Cornwall and move back. Prices are still rising.

I personally don't understand the fuss with Cornwall (don't flame me Cornish people!). Its always bloody windy, in winter its just grim, the proper old school Cornish (like my MIL who is something like 15th generation Cornish or something like that) are vocal about incomers (apparently I would be different as I "married and bred a true Cornish man" (sigh)). I think that is changing slightly though.

Also the job situation is shit. Unless NHS or teaching most people have to travel miles to get decent jobs. Also NHS care is poor. One small hospital for the whole county. Cancer treatment done in Exeter or Plymouth. A lot of children get sent to Bristol if needing hospital care. It can be so bad that when I was 3 weeks away from due date and we visited MIL my husband said if you go into labour we are driving straight home as fast as we can, as he didn't trust Treliske hospital.

It is a hell of a lot different to going on holiday! It is one of the most deprived areas in the country and it relies very heavily on EU subsidies. Brexit is still to happen which could make it hell down there.

Tollergirl · 12/10/2020 17:34

@ramblingsonthego - please don't post such sweeping generalisations. Both my DC were born at Treliske and I had great care. I also have friends who have been treated for cancer at Treliske - you are misinformed if you think everyone has to go to Plymouth.

My DP has worked in the "poor" NHS in Cornwall for 20 years - I'll be sure to tell him it's all been in vain ... alongside all his colleagues who are obviously not up to much ...