There is a "For Sale" sign outside my house but I don't want to move....

[screamsprout]

We live in a 2 bedroom flat with ds and dc2 is due in February. We had decided to stay here but dsd's(20 next month) relationship with her mum has broken down and she can't live there anymore which puts her with us. She is currently in her first term at uni so will need somewhere for the holidays, but then again, it's not going very well so she may need somewhere on a more permanent basis. Three years ago she decided she didn't want to live with her dad any more so when ds came along, he had what had been her room, with her blessing.

There just isn't the space here for everyone so we are going to need to move. We can't afford to get a bigger place in this area so are going to have to move to a cheaper one. We could actually manage to reduce our mortgage and of course, we would be in a bigger place (if not in a great area) but in my heart, I just feel very sad about it all. Being 24 weeks pregnant is not helping anything either.

Has anyone else who has had to do this give me any advice?!

beansprout

Not quite on the same scale, but four years ago we had to move from Croydon to the West Midlands as dh had been unemployed for over 6 months and the only job he could find was here.

I loved my old house, although to be fair it was a bit of a dump and needed lots of work to it. We downsized and got a smaller (but newer, and hence less work needing doing) house here but to be fair it took me a couple of years to settle.

It was a very scary time, with us almost losing both houses (in-laws bailed us out on mortgage payments several times) and lots of tears shed. Huge readjustment to way of life as public transport was a lot less useful, we were further out from a town centre and I didn't know anyone.

HOWEVER, I did settle eventually and can see now with the benefit of hindsight that it was actually for the best. We live in a lovely local community, get on really well with our neighbours and our house isn't sucking every last penny we have away from us. Still occasionally get the "missing London" pang, but in general can't see us moving from here (unless some other unexpected circumstance takes hold) for a long time, even though ideally I'd like a bit bigger house again at some point.

That's a long waffly way of saying, go with the flow, prepare to be upset often and for an extended amount of time (sort of a mild grieving process, in retrospect) but you know logically it will be for the best and your lives will improve as a result.

(Oh, and take a TON of photos of your old home with your stuff in it while it's all tidy for viewers... for nostalgia, it's great and my dses love looking at where ds1, dh and I used to live - in practise you only tend to take photos of the family in the living room otherwise)

Thanks RD. Sorry to hear about your experience, but glad to hear it worked out for you in the end.

And it will for you too

I do think it's natural for us to get really attached to places - I don't think there's anywhere I've moved to where I've fallen in love with it instantly, it's always a period of adjustment. And a house becomes a home when you've lived in it and important things have happened there... memories become wrapped up in the bricks and mortar.

The good thing is that you don't lose the memories, just because you're not in the house any more. And you get to make a whole new set of memories - one day you'll wake up in the new place and realise you're home.

Thank you so much, that really helps. I just need to know that this will be a big change and they don't happen overnight, but with a new baby, there will be plenty to be getting on with so we should settle in soon enough!!

at plenty to get on with - that's it, you just soldier on, don't you Don't envy you going through the moving process while pregnant at all, did that when pregnant with ds1 and have never been so stressed in my LIFE (and that was without an older sibling to care for simultaneously!)

I prescribe lots of Cbeebies (for ds) and lots of chocolate and naps on the sofa (for you!). I hope things go as smoothly as possible for you all over the coming months.

(oh and packers... they're worth every single extra penny they cost!!!)

Thanks for all your support RD, I really appreciate it!

We now have our first viewers coming on Saturday - gulp. Another milestone in the "this is really happening" process. Does anyone else have any advice?!