Would you move from a 3 bed house to a 2 bed flat?

[tigerbear]

Situation is that we need to move to be closer to decent secondary schools for DD (we’re not near any decent state schools).
Lots of private schools, however I can’t afford it right now.

Our house is on the market, however all of the houses right next to the good state schools are too expensive.
We’re considering flats (think large Georgian/Victorian conversions) and have seen one we really like.
It’s the same square footage as our current house, ideally placed for all three schools we’d like (2 good state options and a great private option)
However it’s a 2 bed flat with a shared garden. At the moment we have a 3 bed house, private garden, garage, plus massive communal gardens.

But here’s the other draw - if we bought the flat, we’d have £140k left over, as have a lot of equity.
That cash could pay for private school (if by some fluke she didn’t get into the states), or have savings for DD to go to uni, deposit for her first property, or just a good ‘cushion’ for me to have saved.
I’m self employed, and things are looking a little rocky, so would be great to have that cash in the bank.

What would you do - stay in the house (technically, DD could potentially get into the decent state school from her dad’s address, as we have 50/50 custody), or move to the flat and have the £140k left?

Are you very set in the town you live? Could you look at a different more affordable location to broaden your choices?

No way. It depends on the flat of course but I absolutely hated living in flats. Noisy neighbours, or neighbours who complain when you so much as open the door, regulations on when you could put the bins out, no space away from your family, and no garden even worse. Also flats without their own outside space are not a great investment at the moment and some are impossible to sell on because of the issues regarding fire-safety certificates. I would either buy a cheaper house and renovate over time, even if it means living somewhere a bit grotty or try to apply from your ex’s address and see what happens. Or what about selling and then one of you trying to rent near the good school for 6 months to be sure, and then buying wherever you want once she’s in?

I think the clincher for me is you can get anyway because of 50/50 residency... I’d always prefer a house but this is such a super personal choice

Why don't you or your ex get in touch with the council and ask how the distance of the furthest away child (who applied on distance only not siblings/EHCP/looked after child) who got a place in previous years? Then you can see how likely it is for your DD to get a space from your ex's address.

You need to find out too if this is calculated 'as the crow flies' or by roads/footpaths, and whether it's to the school gates, middle of the site, main door etc, then calculate the distance accordingly.

@NachoNachoMan yes, will investigate further. I did check on the council website re admissions, and children have been accepted to that school from much further away than where EXDH lives.
I think I’m now considering not to move at all, use exDH address for the state school but also apply for private schools just in case (and then sell the house to pay for it if it comes down to that option).

@notheragain4 we have considered moving further out, and did offer on a place a few miles away, which was much cheaper and would also release a lot of equity.
However, it would take between 30 min to an hour to drive to DD’s current primary and the good state schools. It’s only a few miles, but traffic is a nightmare. I don’t drive, so would need to get a taxi, as not fair to expect DP to arrange his work around driving us each morning.
Plus, it’s much further away from exDH house too, which would throw up problems.

I would go for the smaller semi near the school. It's much better than living in a flat and can always be extended.

@woodlandwalkeri think if we get an offer on ours, we’ll go to see the semi.
The reason I’m not wildly excited is because it is much smaller than what we have right now (but like you say, could be extended), and more importantly, I don’t love the area at all (even though it’s near the good state school).
Where we are now is very desirable, beautiful park, nice restaurants and shops.
The other area is just very dull; rows of suburban semi’s and nowhere nice within walking distance.

The other area is just very dull; rows of suburban semi’s and nowhere nice within walking distance.

No nice parks or anything to do? Are you sure?

@JoJoSM2not really, not compared to where we are now. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think we’ve been on similar house/school threads, and think we’re near each other - I’m in SE10 Greenwich now, and area moving to would be nearer Kidbrooke.

OP the state schools near Kidbrooke are not great. Leigh academy is an unknown entity and Thomas Tallis is at best mediocre. So I would definitely not move for them. Have you considered moving slightly further out? It doesn't need to be far. Eltham has better schools for sure.

No, never. I'd never trade a house for a flat.

@Dogsandbabies I’ve heard really good things about both Tallis and Leigh from people with children there. Tallis in particular is highly recommended by DD’s current headmistress.
May I ask why you think it’s mediocre - do you know people who have gone there?

You've no idea what neighbours could be like etc. I would never ever be able to move back to a flat now so don't think I could do that x

After lock down I wouldn’t. Could you sell up now in the property boom, go into rented near a school stay there a few years and then get a house further out from the catchment?

@OverTheRainbow88 it’s a possibility, but not one I’d relish, I don’t think.
Houses in the area would be waaay more than our current mortgage per month, and it would feel like throwing money away for a few years.

@tigerbear I do. And the results don't seem impressive. Definitely not worth moving for. In the national rankings for GCSE results Thomas Tallis is 1942 out of 4491 with GCSE results below average.

To qualify all this I just sold my house in Westcombe Park and renting in that catchment but I am looking to relocate to Eltham so my DD can access the grammars and St Thomas More.

We really suffer with secondaries in Greenwich! There is a chance Leigh will turn out to be a good school but with the pandemic and the closures we probably won't know for a while.

Definitely not, especially not to a conversion flat - they can be extremely noisy if you have bad neighbours. I lived in a Victorian conversion flat and it was like having horrible house mates, sound carries so much. And you just never feel it's really "your home" in the same way if you have your own front door and garden.

school admissions are pretty strict in most places about which house you use on your form.
if there is a demand for places, they will check the address.

Each council has its own criteria for the address, for example:
The house where the child is primarily resident
The one on the elctoral roll
The on where your name is on the utilities.

In cases where there are 2 houses, eg like you, ex dh, then they may want you to show primary residence. The most common way to show this is the address to which the child benefit is paid. Failing that, evidence that the father has 50% custody or more.

Sorry to pour cold water on your idea, but if you apply using dh address, and it doesn't fit the criteria, then the application will be rejected, and you will have NO application in.
If it is discovered after the place has been awarded that dd is not more than 50% resident at her father's house, and someone puts in a complaint, they can kick her out of the school.

There was a whoel thread on this recently. This does happen and because the council are legally bound to their process, it is pretty ruthless.

OP work with your ex to gather evidence she lives with him then apply from his home. Then stay in your house. If you needed to sell up wait until she is older so it doesn't matter where you live.

I actually know a few people over the years who have used the other parent's address to get into a decent school. In a couple of cases it was due to the children having SEN and one council being better than the other.

@Dogsandbabies oh gosh, I’d heard such good things about Tallis...
We had been considering moving to Eltham, but have friends there who go to DD’s current primary, and it often takes them an hour to drive the short distance back to Blackheath to primary school. Plus, DD needs to be able to get to whichever secondary school we choose from BOTH mine and EXDH houses, and he’s remaining in Blackheath. There’s also the added complication that DD’s stepsister will he starting secondary at the same time, so in an ideal world they’d need to be at secondary schools that are relatively close, ie Tallis, Leigh Academy, or one of the private schools (although we’re not tied to the idea of them both going to the same school, it would be tricky if one went to school in Blackheath and one at the grammar for instance).

@steppemum how would the council be able to check if she’s 50/50? Neither of us get child benefit.

Move to the flat so she gets the school u want. If u hate the flat move after 12m. It's not ur forever home and they can't kick u out of the school once ur in!!

OP, the simple answer is I don't know. It is worth ringing the admission department at the council and asking what evidence you need to prve and address with divorced parents.
Do you have custody in writing?

sunlight81 if you move after 12 months, that's fine and they won't kick you out.
But if you are not genuinely living somewhere, and use that address on the form, then yes, they will kick you out of the school, even some weeks in to term.

@steppemum I’ll check with the council. We don’t have custody in writing, it’s an agreement between us both.

@Dogsandbabies I didn’t think that accessing the grammars from Eltham was possible - do you mean the Bexley grammars?

It’s a huge burden to put in your DC shoulders. She knows you love your home and moving is purely for her benefit, even if you say it isn’t. She will have enough on her plate without that as well.