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Original poster

Brother buying property with mum and dad?

40 replies

sianyb83 · 25/08/2020 09:10

So last week my parents told us they are looking to sell their house, and buy a property with my brother and his wife and 2 yo child.

My parents would be putting in 400k cash, my brother around 100k - they are looking at 800k properties in my area, which gets you A LOT around here! (the one they have in mind has a swimming pool and private woodland)

I presume my brother will be paying the mortgage shortfall.

I'm a bit skeptical about the idea, because that it pretty much all my parents money...and I feel effectively they are giving him his (and our) inheritance early?

They own a second, small, holiday home where they spend about half of the year. So for my brother he gets benefit of living in huge house while they are away most of the year.

Also, he and his wife have a lot of marital issues, and I am just concerned how it would work if they did split.

And, longer term, when my parents pass away - we can't expect my brother to sell the house?? And he couldn't possibly afford to remortgage to pay us a share of.

It seems like a messy idea, right?

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 26/08/2020 08:05

Op they just need a legal agreement on what occurs in given events.

user1471538283 · 26/08/2020 13:03

If this goes ahead it needs to be "tied up like a kipper". If your parents need funds for care later on or for you and your siblings inheritance it needs to be agreed now how that would work out. I would be concerned that your DB couldn't afford to pay out half of the share of the house for ill health/inheritance and what would happen then? If he and his wife split up can he afford to remortgage to give her her quarter? Would they be interested in two smaller properties next door to each other or is the point that your DB gets a big house? One of my GGPs moved in with my GPs however, the difference was that he paid a contribution to his bills and his money and assets remained separate so it all worked out

ivfdreaming · 26/08/2020 13:08

Well we should never just assume we are getting inheritance from our parents anyway....it's their money to decide how to spend/split it

But a legal agreement should be drawn up as part of the purchase - likely (hopefully) they'll be tenants in common in which case the value of your parents share can still be split between the rest of the siblings on their death

Have you just come out and asked them about it all??? Really don't understand these threads where there is clearly an issue but the OP pussy foots around the problem never coming out and just confronting the relevant parties - ends up a non thread as everyone gets invested giving advice but never hear back from the OP as to a resolution because they just don't ever do anything about it and prefer to discuss it on public forums instead? 🤷‍♀️

user1487194234 · 26/08/2020 13:18

Do you know whose name the title to the house will be in.ie are your parents going on the title?
Are your parents definitely wanting to preserve the inheritance of you and your siblings ,ie is there any element of gift ?
IME these arrangements work ok when there is only 1 child, and from the perspective of you and your siblings its not a great plan.

But then it is your parents' money to do what they want with,noone has a guaranteed right to inheritance

You would really need to have a serious conversation with your parents to see what their intentions are

Raindancer411 · 26/08/2020 13:32

I think they need legal advice on this and something drawn up

mangocoveredlamb · 26/08/2020 13:39

Some friends of ours have done something similar but they bought into his parents house, and his brother was given that “share” to buy his own house at that point so it was fair. This seems much more complicated.

tentative3 · 26/08/2020 14:22

@ivfdreaming

Well we should never just assume we are getting inheritance from our parents anyway....it's their money to decide how to spend/split it

This is true of course, but I think it's a bit more nuanced than saying we should never expect inheritance. I'm always urging my parents to spend their money, I wish they'd take themselves on holiday or out for steak or whatever, but they're of a frugal mindset (although never tight when it comes to others). If they suddenly changed their attitudes and blew it all I'd be made up for them. But if they left a substantial sum and left it all to my brother then I'm not ashamed to say I'd be a bit miffed. I think that's fairly normal despite all the holier than thou responses that normally crop up here (and my brother has no disabilities or other circumstances which might explain such a split).

Glittertwins · 26/08/2020 14:26

You'd be right to look at this with concern. The in-laws did this so that their precious daughter would be alright. When we questioned BIL being put on the deeds (never held down a job), they refused to listen. That marriage limped along for 3 more years and ILs had to buy him out too.
We are pretty much NC with them for many reasons, one being us refusing to dance to their tune - they like to control with offers of money which strings attached etc

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 26/08/2020 14:35

What have your other siblings said? What's your DB relationship like with your parents? Favoured child? Manipulative? You never know it might be an arrangement in lieu of him he taking on all/the lion's share of care when your parents get older I bet not

Whatsnewpussyhat · 26/08/2020 14:39

Well isn't that all fine and dandy for your brother. Bet it was his idea.

Why does he need a large 'dream home'.
Why can't can he buy a £400k house for his own family if that's the amount he can afford.

waltzingparrot · 26/08/2020 14:41

Is part of the plan that DB & SIL will be looking after your parents in their old age rather than paying high care home fees, even if they buy in services for them. Chances are they'll be making a fair bit of equity in a property this size over that period.

GrumpyHoonMain · 26/08/2020 14:47

@sianyb83

So last week my parents told us they are looking to sell their house, and buy a property with my brother and his wife and 2 yo child.

I presume my brother will be paying the mortgage shortfall.

I'm a bit skeptical about the idea, because that it pretty much all my parents money...and I feel effectively they are giving him his (and our) inheritance early?

They own a second, small, holiday home where they spend about half of the year. So for my brother he gets benefit of living in huge house while they are away most of the year.

Also, he and his wife have a lot of marital issues, and I am just concerned how it would work if they did split.

And, longer term, when my parents pass away - we can't expect my brother to sell the house?? And he couldn't possibly afford to remortgage to pay us a share of.

It seems like a messy idea, right?

My brother also has an arrangement like this with my parents. The difference is he is also expected to provide support for care. In the event of my parents’ deaths all the shares in the property will pass to him as it should because he has helped them so much already and sacrificed so much he deserves every little penny.

MinesAPintOfTea · 26/08/2020 14:51

If they are away for half the year then maybe they don't like leaving an empty house for that time.

Yes, there are legal implications with how to handle various scenarios with but it's being needed, but that doesn't mean that whilst everyone is still married/alive this doesn't make sense as an arrangement. Personally I'd choose my living arrangements based on what works whilst we're alive, and handle needing to downsize if it happens, when it happens.

Oliversmumsarmy · 26/08/2020 15:20

I think short term it seems a good idea but medium and long term there is a lot to be thought about and contracts drawn up to cover every eventuality.

I think the most pressing would be if your db’s marriage isn’t solid, or even it was rock solid atm then on divorce would your parents percentage input be ring fenced and how would he pay his wife off without selling the house.

Then there is what would happen if your parents went into a care home. The fees add up very quickly. How would the money be paid
I don’t think £3-400,000 is too outrageous (dmil and dfil who has since died will have cost them and us, if we don’t want dmil moved into a cheaper care home somewhere in the region of that amount).
How would they sell 1/2 a house if there is no money to pay for fees and they own property.

Then there is a will and leaving you and your siblings their share. Would you all end up owning 1/2 the house between you whilst your db and sil are living in all of it.

Then their are death duties.
How will they be paid if you can’t sell their half of the house.

I don’t think this has been properly thought through

marieg10 · 26/08/2020 15:45

A friend did a version of this... helped parents move near but paid the difference as property more expensive but the house was put in his name. Yes he got divorced and yes the parents house went in the marital pot of assets. It was one hell of a mess to sort out

If they do it they MUST have strong legal advice and agreements to protect their capital otherwise they could end up homeless

Given the previous infidelity I think they are mad.

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