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Original poster

Shoes off

127 replies

JoJoe1986 · 21/08/2020 00:49

Hello, I'm just about to put my property on the market and wondering if its rude to ask potential buyers to kick off their shoes when going upstairs? We have new carpet which I'm keen to keep clean and in theory it could be in their benefit should they put an offer in? Im nervous to ask as it's an awkward request. Would you be offended?

OP posts:
isabellerossignol · 21/08/2020 07:59

I'm not offended by taking my shoes off, or being asked to take my shoes off.

But I am offended by people declaring that I have terrible manners, and I'm grim, filthy etc for not doing it automatically and refusing to understand that I wouldn't actually be psychic and know that someone wants me to do it.

WaltzingBetty · 21/08/2020 08:00

@isabellerossignol

In my opinion it’s grim. I don’t understand any of the arguments for wearing shoes indoors or why some people say they wouldn’t want to take their shoes off in a strangers house.

How can you not understand that some people have been raised to consider it bad manners to take their shoes off? What is there to not understand?

In what way is it bad manners not to trail outside dirt indoors? What is rude about taking your shoes off? It's the cultural norm in almost every part of the world (except North America)
wanderings · 21/08/2020 08:00

"Grim" - bingo! MN loves a shoes off thread.

I've not heard "booties" in this context before: to me, "booties" are what babies wear. I thought the shoe covers were called "overshoes" (and add to the disposable litter mountain, like a certain other object we're ordered to wear at the moment).

Mynameisrow · 21/08/2020 08:03

I don’t understand why having to take your shoes off would put you off buying a house. Surely knowing that someone cares about the home and looks after it bodes well for the condition of the house?

I was always brought up that shoes are unclean so stay at the door so I would always take them off. But I have been in many houses where people don’t remove shoes. It’s always difficult when things like this bring out such strong opinions.

I do think buying shoe coverings are the most reasonable solution here. Then you can say ‘please can you take your shoes off, or wear the shoe covers if you prefer?’

HeronLanyon · 21/08/2020 08:04

Cautionary. Having sold a house with a lot of varnished and some painted floorboards I so wish whoever it was who kept their kitten heels or stilettos on had taken them off !

Pipandmum · 21/08/2020 08:06

I'd immediately think this must be a high maintenance house. I don't have a shoes off policy in mine and am always amused when kids come over and automatically take theirs off. No adults do this though.

WaltzingBetty · 21/08/2020 08:06

@isabellerossignol

*I'd love to understand the mental gymnastics that equate not wanting to ruin cream carpets by trailing outdoor dirt over them, with pulling out of a house sale after accepting an offer *

It's not really mental gymnastics. It's just that I'd assume if you are very precious about the house you haven't mentally checked out of it so aren't intending to actually leave it.

Ok so you'd balance being asked to take your shoes off (despite it being a cultural norm in most countries, and totally normal for many homes in the UK as shown on this thread) as a clear indicator of a non-serious seller despite the fact they were marketing their home, actively hosting viewings and (in your theoretical example) had accepted an offer. But in your mind being asked to keep your shoes on would override all of that evidence about how serious the seller was?

So you'd discount a house you loved and would otherwise offer on, simply because the seller requested you do something that is culturally normal, usually considered good manners and would protect the furnishings you're potentially purchasing.
Other people really are very interesting Grin

isabellerossignol · 21/08/2020 08:07

In what way is it bad manners not to trail outside dirt indoors?
What is rude about taking your shoes off? It's the cultural norm in almost every part of the world (except North America)

It's not the cultural norm where I live, I don't know anyone who would take their shoes off automatically in someone's house. And I've only ever been in one house where I was asked to take my shoes off. That was 35 years ago at a school friends birthday party and it was so unusual that everyone talked about it afterwards. We thought it was fantastic that an adult had not just allowed us to take our shoes off but actually made us do it.

It's not about logic, it's about upbringing. Manners are not universal. I was raised being warned that if I took my shoes off in someone else's house it was rude. Overfamiliar, bad manners, whatever. Like stripping to your underwear. How am I meant to undo 45 years of social conditioning and also change everyone around me?

Suzi888 · 21/08/2020 08:09

@premiumshoes so rather than put shoe covers on you’d potentially let the house of your dreams slip through your fingers.

I think if someone came to view my house and said they’d rather leave then remove shoes/wear covers that they weren’t that serious about buying it in the first place.

Whenever I enter people’s homes who do keep shoes on I always notice their socks are full of grime and their carpets don’t last very long.

Another phenomenon .... shoes off upstairs, but keep them on downstairs. What’s even the point of that. Does your foot clean itself before going upstairs or do you just keep your shoes on the whole time your downstairs. @JoJoe1986 I think I may be triggered HmmGrin by this post haha!

moveandmove · 21/08/2020 08:10

I've been brought up to believe its incredibly bad manners to walk through someone's house with shoes on. I can't believe some people think it's OK to do that.

isabellerossignol · 21/08/2020 08:12

@moveandmove

I've been brought up to believe its incredibly bad manners to walk through someone's house with shoes on. I can't believe some people think it's OK to do that.
And I can't believe that some people think it's ok to take their shoes off because I've been brought up to believe that shoes off is bad manners.

So neither of us is right and neither of us is wrong.

lookatmememe · 21/08/2020 08:13

I have the plastic bag type shoe covers for those who don't want to kick off their shoes.

OutComeTheWolves · 21/08/2020 08:13

I'd provide those weird plastic slip on things in case people aren't wearing socks under their shoes.

We've just moved and when viewing I always asked if I needed to take my shoes off and noticed that most people did the same when they were viewing my place.

areyoubeingserviced · 21/08/2020 08:15

I automatically take my shoes off when going to people’s homes or wear shoe covers.
I had a gas man come into my home a few days ago with muddy shoes. I simply provided him with shoe covers .
If I was selling a house, I would provide shoe covers

PleasantVille · 21/08/2020 08:20

@premiumshoes

If I was selling my house and someone who'd booked a viewing left because they were asked to take their shoes off I'd breathe a huge such of relief that I'd dodged the bullet of a nightmare buyer and ask the agent why they'd wasted my time with a weirdo

A weirdo?

Thanks. Absolutely fucking brilliant judgement of something you know nothing about. Still, at least I have you an opening to stick your boot in, eh Hmm

Buying a house is the biggest thing in people's lives, if someone had decided that mine was worth viewing, the agent thought they were a serious prospect enough for a viewing and they turned round at the door because they were asked to take their shoes off, too right I'd think they were weird.

Limiting your potential homes to ones where you won't be asked to take your shoes off is a totally bizarre approach to buying a home ime.

lazyakita · 21/08/2020 08:22

I would provide shoe covers and ask the agent to offer them or tell the viewers they can remove their shoes if they prefer. We have fairly light carpets on the stairs and I'd not want them to get dirty between viewings.

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 21/08/2020 08:24

I was taught to take the lead of the householder as a guest (and the lead of the guest as a host) so I'm completely flexible on it all (I've also lived in countries where it would be unheard of to wear shoes in the house, and places where people tromp wellies through the kitchen without batting an eyelid)

HOWEVER, this is a house sale, it's not a host/guest situation, so I would just put the blue shoe covers out and expect people to wear them when going upstairs.

premiumshoes · 21/08/2020 08:24

Limiting your potential homes to ones where you won't be asked to take your shoes off is a totally bizarre approach to buying a home ime.

You called me a weirdo because I have different ways to you. That's more bizarre than anything I said. I wouldn't limit potential homes at all, this is a hypothetical situation. I'm not in the market for a new home, ever, probably due to my desire to keep things just so.

premiumshoes · 21/08/2020 08:27

so rather than put shoe covers on you’d potentially let the house of your dreams slip through your fingers.

I'm not in the market for a house so no potential for one to slip through my fingers. Don't be dismissive though. My autism and the challenges that come with it are very very real. I suppose maybe there would be the potential for that to happen actually. I wish I could be so 'normal' as to just take my fucking shoes off, but it's all about feeling safe and secure for me; so I'm not able to do that.

thisstooshallpass · 21/08/2020 08:27

I wouldn't be offended but it's a faff. It's already awkward enough viewing houses. Then to have to bend down in a strangers hall/porch and mess about with laces etc it's even more awkward.

Everyone should wipe their feet properly, provide adequate means for them to do this. The viewers also don't want to dirty a carpet that might become theirs too.

I viewed a house once and it was very wet outside. The garden was a big draw and the vendor wouldn't take me out 'because it was too wet'

WaltzingBetty · 21/08/2020 08:28

It's not about logic, it's about upbringing. Manners are not universal. I was raised being warned that if I took my shoes off in someone else's house it was rude. Overfamiliar, bad manners, whatever. Like stripping to your underwear. How am I meant to undo 45 years of social conditioning and also change everyone around me?

Firstly no one has asked you to change everyone around you Confused

Secondly, yes we get that's how you were brought up. Understood. My question is what is the reasoning for it? As a guest why do you think it's rude to remove your shoes and not trail filth into your hosts home? Even 'clean' shoes are very dirty.
www.housebeautiful.com/lifestyle/cleaning-tips/a1532/leave-your-shoes-at-the-door/

premiumshoes · 21/08/2020 08:30

so rather than put shoe covers on you’d potentially let the house of your dreams slip through your fingers.

Just to add to this, I never said I would refuse shoe coverings. I never mentioned them at all, my initial reply was before they came up. I would absolutely be happy to wear show covers. This would not be an issue for me at all. Please don't make assumptions about me based on something I didn't say.

CasuallyMasculine · 21/08/2020 08:31

@KaptainKaveman

I've got very nice and expensive wooden floors in my house - no way would I allow filthy shoes or dangerous stiletto heels anywhere near them Grin
Where are you living that “dangerous stiletto heels” are the footwear choice for house viewings? Grin
Roowig2020 · 21/08/2020 08:32

I always offer to take my shoes off when viewing houses and entering peoples houses in general. When we were selling our last house we had cream carpets and did either ask buyers to take off shoes or gave them shoe covers.

isabellerossignol · 21/08/2020 08:33

My question is what is the reasoning for it?

I already answered that Confused It is to do with overfamiliar behaviour, the idea of walking round in your underwear (which in this case is socks), making yourself overly at home in someone else's house when you barely know them, being bad manners. In the same way that you wouldn't walk into someone else's house and help yourself to food, or put your feet on the furniture.