How to move on to 'the' house

[Notsurewhatsgoingon]

Hi all,

We have sold our house and are looking for somewhere bigger in our area.
We had viewed 2 possibles while negotiating with our buyer but missed out as she was playing the long game so we couldn't officially offer on them. They were a compromise and not exactly what we wanted space wise but had potential to extend etc..

We sold last week and then a house unlike anything we had considered came online, I rang straight up for a viewing as I had a good feeling just from the photos. It was bigger than anything in our price bracket but cheaper than anything we had viewed. I stepped in the door and fell in love. I could not believe the price. As you can imagine it had a lot of interest. It had an offer within the hour which was not accepted and the estate agent wanted to gather feedback and offers from everyone today. By half 10 they had had 4 offers over asking price. We offered the most but the vendor decided to go with a cash buyer. Fair enough. But I'm gutted. We were prepared to offer more but the vendor just wants to stick with the cash buyer despite them offering almost 10k less!
It was better and cheaper than anything else on the market in our price range.

As you all know the market at the minute is crazy. The demand for houses we want is high. There is nothing that meets our criteria on at the moment. Any that did I now feel are rubbish in comparison to 'the' house.
I can't stop feeling negative and can't see us finding anything now. I feel like we have to settle in order to hold on to our buyer.
Anything else we look at now will feel like second best.

How do I move on and look at others the same way?
How do I now find my home when I feel (wrongly and without being a spoilt brat) that I loved another.

From someone whose owned 4 houses in 10 years I'd say hold out...when you know you know.
Even if it means renting for a short time.
My BIL currently renting his house out to people who couldn't find 'dream' house...they have held out and found ideal house, and got a great deal as were the most proceed able interested party

You are better off renting and waiting to find something you really like rather than settling. Things will calm down as well as redundancies increase when furlough ends and the winter starts...

The alternative is to expend your search and consider areas where there might be more choice...

Yes I think we will have to go back to the drawing board.

@sianyb83 I just knew with this one like you said, I walked into the kitchen and knew I wanted it. I have decorated it in my head and imagined my children running around there. I am going in with my heart and not my head.

My husband is able to be "what will be will be", I don't know how he does it. I have been in a bad mood all day. I just can't see anything near as nice coming up in our price range. Everything we have seen has been a big compromise except this one. But nothing we can do now, they are entitled to sell to whoever they wish.

@Requinblanc we are really limited to area as my children attend a local school. I want them to he able to walk there in time. I might have to have a rethink about this though as we are looking in an expensive area and we might have to come to terms with the fact our budget is just not going to get us what we need here.

My dh will not rent. I have honestly been banging my head with this. He would rather lose our buyer. I have explained to him that we have not had 100s of offers rolling in but he won't budge.

They do say house buying and selling is the most stressful thing ever don't they. I have only ever been a first time buyer before in a normal market so have never experienced this.

Renting can get you in a great position but it is a pain moving around with children.

Sounds like you can just keep your fingers crossed for a great house coming up while stringing our your buyer.

What was wrong with the house you liked so much? I don’t believe someone just put a much bigger house for a lot less for no reason...

@JoJoSM2 it does need some work and is not modernised at all. The decor is a specific taste. But that was OK with me as I actually liked the style and the work was doable and worth doing to us. It would definitely have put some people off.
Oh and it has no parking at all. You basically have to find a space on the next street. That was the one and only negative to us as we both drive and use our cars for work etc.. You can pull up outside to unload shopping for example but not park outside as there is houses further down that require access. That didn't bother me as much as it normally would because both the street you park on and the house are joined by a private road that you wouldnt get cars on, basically it's at the end of a private road so I'd feel safe parking and letting my kids run down to the house.

What starts off as a minor quirk ( the parking issue ) would have turned into a major pain in the arse !

Thats true @VictoriaBun I might have felt differently mid winter

We are in exactly the same position. We missed out on the perfect house, now we have a buyer for ours and there’s nothing that we like. There’s a new build on the outskirts of our school catchment, but there are rumours the catchment will change as the development grows. There’s one other possible house..that is right next to the bus station where there has been a lot of nuisance at night.

Part of me thinks renting will be a wise choice - my house went for more than I thought it would, and by the time furlough is finished prices may be on the decline. But do I really want the stress with three kids?! I don’t want to move again so really need to get this right!

It sounds like the parking issue on your dream house means you may have dodged a bullet there by the way.

@Nomorescreentime sorry your going through this too and that you misses out on your dream home. It's an awful feeling.
Keeping my fingers crossed that we both find somewhere better.

If my dh says one more time "don't worry something will come up" I might murder him.

@Nomorescreentime would you be happy with your second choice school if you go with the new build?

@Notsurewhatsgoingon bloody nightmare isn’t it. We are talking about leafleting some areas we like to see if anything comes of that. But it really all is down to luck now isn’t it.

If they change the catchment of the new build we would absolutely not be sending DC to the other school! So it’s a gamble. The house itself is perfect but I’d be devastated if DC3 couldn’t attend the school her older siblings are at. It’s right on the outskirts of town too so I fear there’d be a lot of taxiing teens if we went for it. If only I could move it...

We did this last year, felt had missed out on dream house. Another one came up that suits us much better. Estate agent rang us so we were first people round and put offer straight in.

The parking would have got on your nerves. Really.

@BarkingHat thars good to know. Glad it worked out for the best for you. I hope the same happens to us. The estate agents (including ours) are being a but rubbish. We are not getting told about any suitable houses until too late. Dh has pointed this out to our estate agent but they have not rectified this.

@Nomorescreentime would your youngest dc not get a siblings priority place?
However I understand what you mean about needing to be a teen taxi if you move further out. I would like my children to be able to easily walk to meet their friends etc but it means our search area is tiny.

Still can't stop thinking about the house we missed. I need to stop being so childish and move on. I have not reacted well to this disappointment.

We are in a similar position too. We had an offer accepted on a house we wanted. Long story but we missed out on it. We have now have a buyer for ours but nowhere to go. We’re seeing a great house later in week but there will be huge competition for it. It’s really top of budget already and everything in our area is going well above asking price.

Personally think you dodged a bullet there @Notsurewhatsgoingon. Having lived on a terraced street where parking was available on both sides of the road I can't understand why it was quite so annoying whenever we couldn't park outside our own house - but it was! Mega annoying. Lol. I'd never now consider somewhere without parking.

But we all have our own priorities. :)

@Jedstre I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

@sbplanet I am trying to keep telling myself that the parking situation was a pain and a big negative. I have only ever lived in houses with drives. I suppose it would be hard work with children and bags and a dog etc... I can't quite convince myself yet but I might when something more suitable comes up.

To offer the other viewpoint. I’m currently sat in our house. The one we own (well the bank). That we lost in similar circumstances.

We left the offer on the table and it just worked out.

Another hopeful story for you - my parents found 'the house' 20 years ago but were outbid.

A few months later the estate agent got back to them to say the buyer had pulled out, so they are able to get it after all! They still love that house.

I really hope it falls through with the cash buyer but I can't see it happening because there is no real reason with cash is there.
Thanks for offering support everyone.
Nothing else has come up yet but it's only been a couple of days.

I kind of get your despair OP. DH and I have been talking about selling up but have a specific type of house we want to move to. Said house came on market this week and DH is refusing to even view it as we have a couple of jobs needing done to our house (getting quotes tomorrow) and he absolutely doesn't want to look at anything until they are done. I'm wondering if anything even close will come on the market again in the near future and feel a bit resentful towards him tbh

@InTheCludgie when you are looking for a certain type of house it is hard to see it come and go isn't it. Also in this market family homes with gardens are flying off. I think people have got fed up in flats etc during lock down.
Good luck with your home repairs and putting it up for sale. I hope you get your dream home.

Thank you Notsure, good luck to you too!

You could letter drop in areas you like.
I was in the same position as you in Nov/Dec. Letter dropped in late December, (out of about 25 letters, 3 had got back to me by the time got home and sat down with a cup of tea!) Had an offer accepted before the new year and moved in March.

@Ohchristmastreeohchristmastree I was talking to dh about doing this. I am not sure what to write in the letter. I do know someone who did this. It's definitely worth a try.