Where to move - can't decide

[Snowflayke]

I currently live and work in an area that for living in is fine, but it's in the middle of nowhere and a bit boring. My husband also works here. We live in a flat.

Anyway years pass and now we have dc and we want to move to a house. We have the money to do so. But I can't decide where we should go. Should we stay where we are? It's close to work so avoids a commute, more time with dc after work, etc.

Or should we move to the area I prefer, near to the city? Commute would be between 40 min to 60 mins. It seems silly for us both to commute that long in the same direction daily. Driving together wouldn't usually be possible as we work different shifts. But it also seems silly to not even try out living in the area I like just because of work. There's more to life than work right?

Changing jobs isn't likely - my husband doesn't want to as he isn't bothered, and I'm pretty crap generally and interview horribly so I won't be progressing in my career unfortunately.

Could either of you work from home? I'm now FT at home and consequently considering moving somewhere rural. My previous priority was to walk to work.

How old are your DC? I'd say that a commute that far, if they're at school may not be ideal in case you get delayed at pick up, but depends on your partners working shifts I guess.
Also what's the traffic like? If you're closer to a city but commuting out it may be you're against the traffic so blissful commute?!

Is there something in between?

Also don't forget you'll always need two working cars if you have to commute by vehicle and one in the garage would cause issues - though perhaps you could WFH that day?

Yes the commute would be against the traffic so better than the other way. Things can still go wrong though, eg, accidents.

Neither of us can ever wfh as we are nurses.

DC are 1 and 3.

I just feel conflicted because if we worked at different places, I wouldn't think a 45 drive was that bad or unusual.

I would hate to spend nearly 2 hours a day in the car. I used to do it and it's extremely tiring and stressful. You just know that the day you're 5 mins late the traffic will be bad and make you later.
Can you use days off as the opportunity to do things in a city? Traveling in once a week for shopping/meal out/entertainment is a lot lot cheaper and takes less time. Unless you live right in the center you won't use those facilities often, anyway. You could have a much nicer house, less stressed, more time and money by staying where you are.

Yes that's true. I used to live there so I know the commute very well. The 5 minutes late thing is so true.

Just seems like everyone else is choosing their home based on the area, the schools, being close to family, etc, and I'm just giving up all that for a shorter drive.

Considering dc, it's a rock and a hard place. We'll have more time with them if we stay where we are and no problems like running late for pick up. However it does mean they will grow up in a deprived area with crap schools and no public transport.

is there a third option? what's the other side of where you work? If you use work as the centre of a circle, what is within a 20 min drive in any direction?

btw - many years ago we had a similar choice to make. We were moving into the area for DH's job. We both preferred cities and had the option of living in Cambridge, but with a long drive to work. We looked at places all the way from Cambridge to Peterborough, towns, villages, cities, everything. We ended up in a village as it had an easy drive for DH's work, a good school, and some transport/shops etc. We would go into Cambridge for dinner/shopping etc about twice a month, and were always relieved that neither of us had to do that drive every day.

It sounds like you’d just spend your days at work and in the car. You’d only benefit from being in your preferred area at weekends as you wouldn’t have the time otherwise. I’m not sure if it’s worth both of you commuting for about 7-10h every week.

I would say it's not a good idea to bring up your DC in a deprived area with crap schools...