Did you need a bigger house as your DC got older?

[C33P0]

We have a 4 bed house, which was a 3 bed semi which we extended. Downstairs we have a large family room (living room/dining room/playroom), a decent size kitchen, utility and downstairs loo. Upstairs 4 bedrooms, but none of them are particularly spacious, particularly DDs which is a box room. One bedroom is an office with a guest bed squeezed in.

Right now it's perfect, as DC are young (5 and 2), so the big family room works well and the small bedrooms don't matter too much. Technically we could live here forever, but we do have some spare cash and I'm trying to figure out whether it would make sense to move in a couple of years, and versus increased saving for retirement and/or savings for DC as they get older. To significantly increase the space, we'd be looking at minimum of 150k extra on the mortgage, so we'd be looking at taking on a 20 year mortgage at age 40. We could afford it, but it's more a case of the length of the mortgage and the balance between that and saving for retirement etc.

Watching with interest as an in a similar position. I think I might just wait and see. It's hard to know if we will want more space and I'd rather wait than jump the gun I think?

Well no-one ever actually "needs" a bigger house, but a bigger house is always a nice to have.

Only you can decide whether the benefits of a bigger house outweigh the benefits of a bigger pension.

Points to ponder
*It would be nice for your DCs to have bigger rooms as they become teenagers, and start having sleepovers etc
*Children get more expensive as they get older - secondary school trips can be very expensive, apart from anything else
*It would be nice for people to have somewhere to go to watch tv etc - DCs won't want to watch tv with you for ever
*If you invest in a bigger house now, it will appreciate over the years, so you should be able to sell it and buy a smaller house outright when the DCs leave home (this is our plan, but we are older than you)

True, "need" was probably the wrong word. "Would significantly benefit from" is probably wiser.

We moved into this house 6 years ago and finished the extension 3 years ago. At that point, I knew there was a possibility we might move again at some point, but couldn't see that far into the future IYKWIM. If we are going to move in a couple of years time, we need to start putting our spare money into overpaying the mortgage, rather than investing or saving it.

All going well, you’ll be retired for longer than you have older children at home for. So, if the bigger house means a less comfortable retirement you might want to bear that in mind. Short term v longer term benefit.

I'd go for the bigger house. But I took on a 35 year mortgage at 35 (and have no regrets) so we might be very different!

I think children with more relaxed parents experiencing less financial stress is more beneficial than more space. Especially if 'affording it' means relying on money you have not yet earned.

We've massively benefited from a bigger house. But that's partly because DH and I both work from home so the attic and the box room are both offices. But tbh, I love having two reception rooms. Means DC can practise their music or work out in one while we watch TV in the other. And when they were growing up they had a playroom which kept the toys all in one place and allowed us to have some adult space. Before that, the living room was always covered in toys and I had to tidy it every night before we could relax and unwind once DC were in bed.

We have a lounge/diner, study (with big chair and games console/tv in it as well as computer and a conservatory.

You can normally find DD (11) in her bedroom drawing while wTching something on her tablet, the boys (9 and 13) in the study or DS age 13 often spends time in the bedroom (boys share) then me in the kitchen or lounge and DH in the lounge

So we have ‘enough’ living space but not enough upstairs - 3 beds and 1 bathroom. We ‘need’ 4 bedrooms so boys don’t have to share and another bathroom as it’s a nightmare when everyone wants to get ready at the same time.

With teens unless you are happy for them to have consoles and TVs in thier rooms (and to never see them) I think it’s better to have another room or space downstairs where they can hang out away from the main lounge.

I've got 2 teens in a typical "2 Up 2 down" terrace. We've recently converted one of the downstairs rooms into a 3rd bedroom. I've actually found they need less space as they get older and toys get smaller/less.

Do you have the option to divide your large family room in two? With tween and teen age children you may want them to have a separate room they can hang out in once they stay up later.

We also bought a 3 bed semi but we have not yet extended and are about to do so. We sometimes deliberate the way you do as if we didn't pour all our savings and extend our mortgage for the extension, we would be looking at paying off mortgage in our 50s and being very comfortable but we are already really short of space and the layout of our house just doesn't work.

Biggest difference between us and you is that we don't yet have the decent sized kitchen and utility or 4th bedroom but we will be extending so we have that plus additional downstairs room which will be flexible space as children grow plus we will likely build an outhouse at back of our large garden for home office.

We have decided quality of life for the next 15-20 years as children grow (currently nearly 2 and 3) is more important and hopefully our house will appreciate to the extent we can downsize in the future if need be to release money for retirement.

I grew up with a tiny box room for bedroom (not even big enough for full size single bed) and I found it really frustrating as I got older. I also hated how there was nowhere for friends and I to play together properly. My parents did their absolute best and made all decisions with our best interests in mind, I would like for my children to have the space to play and have friends over as they grow up

We live in a fairly sizeable 4/5 bed semi (5th bedroom is a single used as an office) but only have two rooms downstairs - kitchen diner and a living room - and I find myself constantly wishing for a second reception room for the exactly the reasons @monkeyonthetable says - I spend my whole life tidying toys and detritus away to allow myself an bit of order and headspace, especially in the evening - but then I’m someone whose state of mind seems to bear a direct relation to the state of things around me! We’re in the process of arranging to build an extension for exactly that reason - but if the house wasn’t in such a perfect location for us right now we would absolutely move - unfortunately the ‘next house up’ in our area is megabucks and out of reach once stamp duty and moving costs are taken in to account. So in your situation OP I would consider how the house as it is currently affects you mentally and in terms of your lifestyle, vs the financials etc, and see what wins out.

Yes but I grew up in a massive house so I'm used to space . We have a big 4 bed with lots of difference spaces which we love as the children grow and the teens can have friends over etc .

Yes but I grew up in a massive house so I'm used to space . We have a big 4 bed with lots of difference spaces which we love as the children grow and the teens can have friends over etc .

I think it depends how stressful you find moving house. Having 2 spaces to hang out downstairs is a big advantage when they get older. But that period could be short and you might end up with a far too big house when they leave home.
But then if you have a bleak outlook, you might imagine that the younger generation are having such a terrible hand dealt to them that them leaving home is a fantasy, so a big house will be a massive plus in those circumstances.

I personally think that unless the financial pressure is bad, then having space really helps relationships.

4 bed here, two kids here full time plus two adult kids and their partners staying sometimes. We were going to move to accommodate everyone at Christmas and generally have more space, but decided to put half the cost of moving (around £300k) into extending our house instead. I'm so glad we did, I don't think we'd ever move now!

(definitely better to avoid paying extortionate stamp duty if you can!!)

Another tv room would be good. Loft conversation? Garden room?

OP we also moved into this house 6 years ago and finished extending it 3 years ago My boys are now 7 and 4 and I feel like we need more room. We're actually waiting for a house in our cul de sac to come on the market because we don't want to live anywhere else.

(We have considered a garden room and loft conversion).

Thanks all, it sounds like people generally appreciate having an extra living room with older children. The other thing that I think might cause problems is only having one family bathroom.

In terms of improving our current house, there is really no scope for extending or reconfiguring it, we've made as much as we can of the space. The one thing we do have is a large summer house in the garden, which we use for storage. If we insulated this properly it could maybe become a bolthole for teens, but obviously it wouldn't be the same as having that extra room as part of the house, and we would still be missing the extra bathroom and larger bedrooms.

I think what we might do is try to save/overpay the mortgage so we are in a position to move in a couple of years if we want to, but delay the decision until then.

oops...posted on wrong thread - have asked it to be deleted

No, since DC became teens this house has started to feel too big (because, I'm not thrilled wih cleaning and decorating it). The spacious downstairs rooms were important when they had big Brio layouts, ambitious lego projects that were iconic for weeks or we had a house full of primary aged friends but now they mostly sit, so they don't take up as much room.

I am glad we still have enough rooms that we've been able to have our own space during lockdown though.