Move or stay? Go for the dream or stay comfy

[LizzyBee9]

Sorry for the long post....
So I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I just don’t know what to do and would love your thoughts/advice. We bought our current house cheap as it was a wreck and we have spent 5 years renovating it to sell. The dream is to move to a bigger house in the countryside. But I don’t know if I’ve just got comfortable or if I’m worried about the financial changes etc but I’ve been thinking maybe we should stay!? If we were to stay there are definitely some more changes we would make to make it more “us” which we didn’t want to spend the money on if we were going to move. A few facts: We currently have a very small mortgage And 50% equity in the house we have now. We would need to use all the equity, all our savings and take out a large mortgage if we moved. The area we are looking at there aren’t very many country homes going on the market (we have already been looking for 9 months). Cost of moving is expensive... we would have to pay a fee to get out of our mortgage deal, other fees, estate agents and lawyers, we would be about £8,000 plus stamp duty on the new place 😬. We have 2 young kids who we would need to move school/nursery.
Am I just being impatient and looking for an easy route by staying where we are? Or do you think we should just save money and make this house how we really want it even though it’s not my country house dream? Help?! My brain is in overdrive...

If it was me Id probably stay where you are and make it a home. If its cheaper for you , you will have more money for yourself and your family

@Rosieeknight997

If it was me Id probably stay where you are and make it a home. If its cheaper for you , you will have more money for yourself and your family

I think money is a huge factor, but at the same time, I don't want to look back in years and wish I had just taken the plunge you know? I have felt quite unhappy in the house and the town we live which is why my hubby is keen to move as he doesn't think I will ever be happy here no matter what we do to the house.

If you are unhappy living in the current house/location, then move - life is too short to be unhappy. But that doesn't mean that you need to move to the "dream house". No house is perfect and requirements/priorities do change as you move through life.

@swimster01

If you are unhappy living in the current house/location, then move - life is too short to be unhappy. But that doesn't mean that you need to move to the "dream house". No house is perfect and requirements/priorities do change as you move through life.

Very true. We have looked at about 10 different properties in the last 9 months, some very remote and top of our budget and some in a village and smaller/ semi detached victorian houses. We are trying to keep an open mind in what we are looking for but I am quite set on it being something old if we do move. I love the character of old homes and something I definitely miss in the house we are in now. It scares me how expensive it is to move! I keep thinking what I could otherwise spend that money on! lol.

It is difficult to know now, but what will your priorities be in 10 years' time? We have a teen and a tween and having grown up in a small village myself, I want connectivity for my kids - more than one bus a day, ability to get themselves independently to a train station or cinema, not being the first ones onto and last ones off the school bus. I like our current house but we've talked about downsizing to get further into town for them. When we bought this house, our children were small and being further out for more space felt like the right compromise, but now I'm not so sure.

For me it would hinge on could we survive if our financial circumstances changed. So if you lost an income - Could you still have a roof over your head and food on the table? If I couldn’t manage that and buy a house in the country- I would stay where I was.

@Murmurur

It is difficult to know now, but what will your priorities be in 10 years' time? We have a teen and a tween and having grown up in a small village myself, I want connectivity for my kids - more than one bus a day, ability to get themselves independently to a train station or cinema, not being the first ones onto and last ones off the school bus. I like our current house but we've talked about downsizing to get further into town for them. When we bought this house, our children were small and being further out for more space felt like the right compromise, but now I'm not so sure.

Thats a really interesting point. Definitely on of the reasons we want to move to a more rural property is for the lifestyle for us and for the kids. Having some animals, land to run about on and race about. But I do think back to my teen years, and how I would meet up with my friends after school or socialise walking home etc and I worry they would be missing out on all that if they had to be driven everywhere due to us being remote... Its definitely something to really think about I suppose. I guess a property in a small village might be a happy medium?

I would prefer to be financially secure then have my dream house and constantly worried if I lost my job or dh did how we could afford it

Also what about future costs of sending them to uni etc. Unless you have that money aside already.

I wasnt in love with my house the space didnt work for me but invested in an interior designer and it wa star cheaper to bow have the house designed how I'd want it then to move.

What would be the cost of doing the additional bits compared to moving?

@Bargebill19

For me it would hinge on could we survive if our financial circumstances changed. So if you lost an income - Could you still have a roof over your head and food on the table? If I couldn’t manage that and buy a house in the country- I would stay where I was.

This has also been a point I have worried about recently due to the obvious current pandemic. We are very comfortable financially in this house, we have a family run business in which both our wages rely on and during this pandemic when we had no work and were still unsure if we would get any government help, we were extremely grateful of our small mortgage and it gave us a lot to think about. But at the same time this is unprecedented times and we don't want to live in fear of "what if" ... its a difficult thing to balance I suppose.

@cyclingmad

I would prefer to be financially secure then have my dream house and constantly worried if I lost my job or dh did how we could afford it

Also what about future costs of sending them to uni etc. Unless you have that money aside already.

I wasnt in love with my house the space didnt work for me but invested in an interior designer and it wa star cheaper to bow have the house designed how I'd want it then to move.

What would be the cost of doing the additional bits compared to moving?

It would be enormously cheaper to stay and do the other works than to move. We would be about £8,000ish just to move then probably about another £6,000ish for stamp duty, thats £14,000 just to move and the bigger monthly payments of course. But I suppose its all relative as our new house would be worth more and definitely a place we would be adding value to so would be an investment. Staying where we are we would probably spend about £25,000 to have it how we want, that would be changing the kitchen slightly adding an everhot cooker (my dream) and a new back door, new flooring, wood burner and changing the shower.

I lived totally rurally as a teen and it sucked. I was always on the edge of friendship groups despite my parents ferrying me around all over. My friends in the village would all go on for tea at 5 then I'd have to be collected. They'd all go back out after tea and I couldn't. Definitely agree make sure there is decent transport links and opportunities for teens and older dc for schools, hobbies etc too

You haven't said whereabouts OP but I'm wondering Have you lived rurally before? Do you visit the area you are considering regularly? In all seasons?

I have known a few families that moved for the 'country idyll' and have ended up back in more urban areas after a few years as they missed the transport links, ease of access to shops, restaurants, entertainment for teens etc.

Just some things to consider about rural living:

Are you prepared to taxi your kids around until they can drive? What are the school options in the area? Will your kids have to travel a long way? How will they see their friends? Are you happy to buy what is available locally or pay delivery costs for online shopping? Are there restaurants etc available in the area? Have you researched broadband availability? Would you be happy in an area that gets lots of seasonal visitors/tourists? How will you cope with extreme weather? Do you have family/friends who will find it difficult to visit you in a rural home?

I understand your point about more space and nicer environment for your DC but they really grow so fast, you don't want to outgrow the area in the next few years if you have spent a lot on moving costs.

There may be a compromise in a 'country style' property on the edge of a large village or small town?

It's quite a specific dream - the land and the animals. If that's truly what you want and not an idle fantasy, then I think you would regret not going for it now. The sums you're talking about aren't prohibitive. It's unusual to have a low mortgage when your kids are only little and makes more sense to make the move now so they enjoy the rural upbringing before it becomes a PiTA for them with meeting friends etc. The latter might be less of a thing than for past generations as even kids in cities stay in more and communicate globally online, so as long as you've got decent broadband, it may not be such a big problem. Staying comfy sounds good and I wouldn't be tempted to move in the situation you describe, but country living is not my dream. If it was, and as long as it wasn't a crazy risk financially, I'd stay focused and see the dream plans through.

It’s not just the cost of the move and the additional mortgage payments, you will have to factor in how much more the house will cost to run, an old large house will be considerably more expensive to run than the one you are on now, so heating costs will be higher, increased council tax, and your petrol bills will increase significantly, and keeping animals will cost you a lot of money too, even if you think you can afford all this what is more concerning is that your employment eggs are all in one basket, you needed to rely on government help to get through the pandemic and we have not seen anything yet if today’s economic forecast is anything to go by, I would tread very carefully if I was you and reassess in a couple of years when we know where the country is heading.

Of the houses you've looked at, what has stopped you buying them (assuming it wasn't financial)?

Do you think the dream is just a dream and that the reality doesn't quite meet your needs? Could you look into buying a holiday home in a very rural location instead?

I also grew up rurally and it was honestly dreadful. I am treating my kids to a large town upbringing as a result of my experiences!

@skylarkdescending thanks for your reply. We actually live near the countryside now in a small town so we would only be moving about 15 mins from where we are now. Shops and all that are just a 5 min drive away to the nearest village or town. It’s more the fact that even though we are close to towns, we aren’t in them. And for the kids when they are older is that going to stop then forming relationships etc because they don’t have the Freedoms other teens will have (do I want them to have those freedoms 🙈😳)! It’s a big consideration to everything we do but we are really struggling now to find anything. Our place is sold and the market has gone nuts but the two houses we have been interested in so far we have been absolutely slaughtered at the closing dates, they are going way over home report value (we are in Scotland). Oh it’s so hard. Some people just live it and othera don’t but how can we really know until we do it!m? Ya know?

@MrsBobDylan thanks for your reply. I think of the houses we have viewed there has always been a big compromise somewhere we just weren’t willing to make such as the area wasn’t very nice or the house just didn’t suit our needs. We found one that we liked, it wasn’t our dream house but it was nice and we could see how we could improve it but the location was absolutely perfect, right on the edge of our preferred village and we got massively outbid at the closing date. There was 8 offers and the highest bidder when £40,000 over home report value (we are Scotland) ! We had no chance. We thought we were going in high with an offer £17000 over home report! lol.

@BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo yeah problem is we have sold our house so we need to do something or we are homeless 😐

@Pinkdelight3 thank you for replying. Yeah we also thought about the fact that kids these days live a very different life than the one we did growing up. And do we even what them out wondering the streets as teens? Is that what I want for them to be caught up in all that? Maybe not. They might only have a handful of close friends who just tend to hang out at each other’s houses anyway in which case it wouldn’t be such an issue then being out in the country... but hey, I don’t have a magic mirror that shows Me the future so it’s all just maybes and guesses and who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️

It depends how financial sound you are. Are your jobs pretty recession-proof? Will buying your dream house use up all your savings?

You also need to weigh up whats important to you. MIL wanted a nice big house too, that was her dream. But to get there they had to scrimp and save for years. They rarely eat out, haven't been on a holiday in about 10 years, never socialise with other people and just spend time in their house, but that's the lifestyle they want

My parents on the other hand, decided to stick with their comfy home and go on 2 sunny holidays a year and a couple of city breaks, they eat out whenever they want, they can buy whatever they want whenever they want. They're happy with their "average" house because they can afford to splash out elsewhere in their life

Weigh up which lifestyle you prefer, and take into account the current stamp duty break too which should free up some savings for you