Moving north, away from SE

[lovesT]

Hello 👋

My husband and I live in the South East with our 9 week old baby and we have for a long time considered moving further north (possibly Scotland or near to the borders). Here are the reasons why:

•We have never really felt part of the fast paced live of SE or the pressure of education etc (we live in an area where education is everything...).

•We both love the outdoors and though we live in the countryside we would love to live somewhere that’s not as busy where we could enjoy the outdoors more.

•Neither of us have jobs that require us to be near big towns or cities. I am a Teaching Assistant (although currently on mat leave) and plan to go in to teaching after finishing my degree (part time from home). Husband works at an outdoor centre and is hoping to build a small business with woodwork that he does from home.

•We have family in Scotland (brother and sister in law who will be having a baby in a couple of months so the cousins would be close!).

•Of course a big reason is because it’s so much cheaper house wise. There’s no way we could afford to live down here (we currently rent from husbands parents).

It would be great to hear from people who have made this move and any advice or things to think about. We have money we could use for a deposit but would rent first rather than investing in somewhere we don’t know much about. Have been looking in and around Dumfries and Galloway area but pretty open to options. 😊

Both our families are down South and it will be difficult to not have them close but sadly with the prices of down South we’ll never afford even a tiny place let alone somewhere we would actually ideally like to live. We’re both mid twenties and would like to start settling somewhere soon.

Thanks if you have read this post!

Not quite what you might want to hear but having family close by (especially grandparents) when you have children is priceless, not even for the practicalities but just being around family.

Where in the SE are you now? We're in Kent, moved back here from London once we had our little one but originally a Kent girl. What is this education pressure you talk of??

Could they move too?

I am from northwest (I appreciate not quite as far north as where you are moving too) and husband from South East. We have both lived in both areas and settled in the northwest. Husband struggled with relocation initially. Definitely a more chilled way of life. I never noticed how relaxed it was where I lived in the North until I moved down south and when We visit his family now its definitely noticeable. We would have struggled to get any decent house in the southeast. We contemplated moving back but we have such a nice work life balance where we are I doubt would be possible down there. I loved living in both areas.

Only downside we really find is the 4 hour drive to go see his family. Particularly noticed this last year when his dad became ill. In saying that we don't regret settling up north

Your reasoning makes perfect sense to me OP. No harm in giving it a try ? You can always move back.

I feel just loosing the massive mortgage is a large plus point.
Lots of people do it, we would love to move but sadly jobs tie us to the area, you are very lucky to be able to give it a go.

@drinkinginthenightgarden I agree, not being near family would be a huge downside - but both sides have said if we did move they would probably follow so hopefully we would eventually all be closer together. So @ohioohioohio yes possibly 😊

Yes we live in Kent too, we live in an area where education is pretty much everything and there's a lot of pressure on the children to get good results. Whilst this is important I don't think it is everything and would much prefer my baby and future children to enjoy being children rather than the pressure I've seen especially in SE. Might just be my experience though!

@Rhica that's good to know. It would be hard being away from family definitely.. but unfortunately with the prices down here I don't feel we have a choice. They know our thoughts and would visit or maybe even follow us. We already visit the family we have in Scotland quite a few times in a year so it's not too bad. (We lived away for 2 years on the other side of the world until a couple of years ago!).

Thanks everyone for replies 😊

We love in the SE currently but my grandparents were Scottish and we have relatives in Scotland. Some friends of my parents decided to move to Scotland about 15 years ago. He is Scottish and she is English. She works in a well know supermarket and was treated appallingly, basically for being English.

I love Scotland and would love to move there myself and all the Scots I know are lovely but becareful deciding on the areas to move too as some are very anti English. I know this also goes for other places, not liking 'outsiders' so to speak, I'm just making you aware of this to make sure you don't have a bad experience.

Dumfries and Galloway has a lot of English people and so I've never experienced any anti English feeling there. I lived in Irvine for a while however and that area really is anti English

We live in Yorkshire (I’m from round here) but is a southerner, his family are mostly in SE.

If you have a lot of money/property the SE is great but it’s so expensive for moderate earners. You will get much more for your money in the north and if you don’t need to be near London for jobs it’s a no brainier really. You can have a much better lifestyle. Might be worth looking to see which areas have good employment prospects but are also close to countryside etc.

We only see his family once or twice a year when we visit which is the downside.

Just to add although it's harder to see family also nicer in a way. Almost see them more than my family as we go away with them slot. They come her and we go there and it's always quality time and everyone makes a real effort. Where with my family its a lot of popping over here and there

There is a new series started recently - twice the life for half the price or something which is people doing just what you are thinking about.

It's quite interesting

It will definitely be important to find out more about the different areas! Family lives in West Kilbride area and that has been lovely each time we have been.

@Rhica i can see what you mean about quality time. We live right next to my husband's family which is lovely but feel like we end up chatting as we see them and rarely make the effort to spend quality time together! So that would be a positive.

Thanks @Toomanycats99 I'll have a look at that 😊

If Scotland seems to far from family and there are concerns about being treated badly there for being English (no idea if this does actually happen or not) how about Yorkshire?
We are close to beautiful countryside, 1.5 hours from the coast, cheap housing, good schooling, major cities but smaller towns and it has everything we need. Plus it’s pretty friendly here too
We can be in central London in 3 hours by train if necessary too

Following your thread with interest OP because I too have thought about leaving the SE and moving northward. I have heard a lot of stories about Scotland being very hit and miss though with some areas being very anti-English and anti-outsider and other areas being lovely. Not sure how you know which is which though if you do not know the area well and are looking to move? Have you considered the north of England or the West? Not sure what those areas would be like to live.

If your DP would move up north with you then I think it could make sense.

I'd think about the weather though, it's very different to the south. Not sure I could cope with the cold!