New house - huge mistake?

[Robs20]

Has anyone else regretted moving? We have just moved into a house that I loved 2 years ago when we first viewed it. We viewed lots of others and this was the only one that made my heart sing.

I HATE it! The road is much busier than it was before and the traffic feels almost constant (this is one of my real bug bears). It is 15 min walk from the town centre so popping out to get bits from the shop requires planning - before we were 2 mins from the high st. I don’t have a car so have to walk everywhere. DH drives to work so is leas affected by the location issue. Lastly, it needs renovating. I always wanted a project but the purchase took so long to go through, there is no way the work will be done before 2 little people arrive (I am 28 weeks pregnant now).

I feel like doing a quick reno job (nothing as extreme as we were planning) and putting it back on the market. Has anyone else felt like this? Did you feel better after a while or is it better to cut my losses and accept this was a huge mistake?

Moving again is a major headache - you have to keep the place clean and tidy for viewings and it is one of the most stressful things you can do.

Do you really want that stress and the expense?

Can you re-evaluate? A 15 minute walk to the shops has many benefits including keeping fit and saving money by not shopping as often.

Is there anything you can do about the traffic noise? Double glazing, trees, hedges or fences can help.

House maintenance is a long term thing - even if you get it all in order now there will always be something else that needs doing. We have been living here for 20 years and my list of things to do never gets any shorter even though I frequently cross things off it.

Take your time and sort out one room at a time, starting with the one that gets you down the most.

Can you actually afford your dream house? If yes, just do it (not sure why you bought this house). If you can't afford it, just learn to live with it.

Maybe that’s the problem, I don’t know what my dream house/location is. We moved here because I loved it before and wanted a project. I am really struggling with feeling isolated - aside from the day walk to town, my commute is much longer and transport links are not as good so getting to meet friends is difficult. I feel like I’ve lost my independence!
We could afford a nice house in a different area although that would mean a big lifestyle change. At the moment, I am thinking we should do it up cheaply and move on, whether we rent or sell it.

Depends how much work actually needs doing. If it's a full renovation then a cheap, quick cover up will get picked up quickly by surveyors (who like to arse cover at the best of times) so you'll probably end up losing out on that.

You must have realised that it's 15 mins walk to the town centre before and it didn't bother you then, so why is it now? Traffic noise can be helped with decent double or triple glazing. What has caused the road to be significantly busier than when you viewed 2 years ago? Is it something temporary or permanent?

I'd say stay and renovate properly, assuming you can afford to do that. Generally start at the top and work down, however with baby/ies due soon, it might be better to just concentrate on the rooms you will be using most in the near future, and leave the others for later. So bedroom, living room, kitchen and bathroom. A coat or two of emulsion in other rooms can go a long way towards making it feel more like your home until you get around to doing them properly.

It’s not quite the same but we bought our house with plans to completely renovate and extend. My feelings have changed and I now want to move to another town so we will probably do it up enough to sell it then just stick it on the market.

Tricky one, perhaps it is your hormones making you feel so negative when originally all you could see were positives. Most of what is wrong now you were happy to take on previously. The traffic issue is another matter though and I felt the same when I moved in to my now home. I thought the road was fairly quiet, turns out it is a rat run and used as a shortcut to avoid traffic lights on a parallel road. Almost 2 years later I can say it does not bother me so much. I did replace the windows, but realistically I was disappointed with the level of noise reduction. It traffic starts up really early, but is quiet during the night at least. Hedges and trees take long to grow and are not a quick fix.
When you think about it a huge number of the population live near busy roads, some near me live in very expensive properties but must be as badly affected as me. This gives me some comfort althoug it may sound silly.
If you can afford to take the hit financially perhaps sell up and start again, although you need to be prepared for the hard work and stress.

By renovation - it needs two new bathrooms and new kitchen (wall down between kitchen and dining room, rsj in and new kitchen) so nothing huge. We wanted to extend but the disruption with babies will be too much.

I think the traffic is to avoid the town centre. I have been working from home today and it has really got me down. There is a road closed near us but I’m not sure that would cause this huge volume of traffic on what is otherwise a very residential street. We have double glazing already and if we do have to stay I will look at triple glazing.
I thought the extra distance was worth the compromise- I have quickly realised it is not and would prefer the 2 bed London flat we used to have over this!

Feeling really deflated, I thought this was a fresh start after a very difficult few years but it seems even worse now. It has taken us so long to find somewhere, I think DH will be so annoyed if I suggest moving again this year (it’s also not ideal at all financially with stamp duty etc).

It’s early days!
We bought a renovation in a completely different location and I spent the first few months feeling really depressed. We’d moved to a village and I hadn’t really taken in the road outside our door, which was busier than I expected.
It took a while before it felt like home and we spent several years renovating and turning it into a truest lovely house.
After a while I didn’t notice the road anymore, you just get used to your new normal.
It will take time, but try to remember what made you want to buy it in the first place.

Secondary glazing is much better at killing traffic noise than triple glazing.
The renovations that seem totally doable normally are anything but in the later stages of pregnancy.

Set yourself small achievable goals. Moving would be just as stressful as staying might be ? Congrats on babies !

I think it’s hard to know how a new location will make you feel till you actually get there. And obviously you knew it would be a walk up town etc, but you don’t know what impact that will have on you till it’s actually real. But I say that as someone who relocated a while ago and it’s just been a disaster, I hate it. We’ll be putting the house on the market soon and moving back to where we came from. We’ve come to realise that how we feel won’t change, we got it wrong, and it’s better to suck up the cost of moving again than stay.

BUT...you are very pregnant and that obviously complicates things for you. Renovations with small babies could be hellish...not to mention moving. Then again, the flip side is potentially feeling even more isolated when you’re at home with two babies. It’s a really tricky call and I do feel for you because I know how depressing it is to feel you’ve made a mistake like this and that you might be stuck.

Whatever the outcome, I think you need to talk to your DH. You can’t just be fretting about all this by yourself.

I think in situations like this rather than paper over cracks (literally!) it is much better to acknowledge your mistake, make your peace with it and make plans to move in x months or years, you then have your get out of jail card, when you make a firm decision it will be such a relief and you can plan for the future, this will make living where you are so much more bearable and who knows you may have a change of heart along the way. I would be wary of doing a cheap renovation though, once you start you will probably open up a can of worms of things that you did not account for (guaranteed) and your ‘cheap’ reno could cost you dear, either do it properly if you will significantly increase the value, if not don’t waste your time and energy and sell it as a project for someone else.

One thing to consider is your life will really change once you have children. Is you new house well located for playgroups, schools, parks, doctors ? Because they will have a bigger effect on your life than the things you like when you don’t have children.
My village would be great if we had young children.

If you learn to drive will things be better?
You may be feeling hemmed in with impending twins, perhaps a feeling of freedom will make you less daunted?

So, I think I miiight have been overreacting slightly (I’m going to blame pregnancy hormones!). Thank you for all of the comments and support when I was feeling down. I need to learn to adapt to be further out of London. Yes the commute is longer, but I should try to enjoy the walk to the station. I did an online food shop yesterday and will be starting nct to hopefully meet some local friends next week.

For those asking about driving, I can drive but haven’t needed to for the past 10 years. DH has a car and drives to/ from work so I can use that (but would need to build my confidence) and will consider getting a car for use during the week (although could do without the extra expense).

DH has also been doing some work on the house this weekend - living room is now painted and 2 bedrooms will be plastered this week so can be painted next weekend. I am having a stressful time with pregnancy and have been put on bedrest since an appt yesterday and going back to hosp on Monday - it has reminded me not to get stressed about small things and give this new house/ life a chance :)

Oh op, I do feel for you!
Long story but 7 years ago we moved twice in 4 months😮🙄😁
(we sold, house we were buying fell through so we went into rented for 4 months...)
We moved in in December - snow on the ground, very cold - and within a week the boiler broke, half the integral kitchen appliances stopped working/broke, the gas fire was condemned and we found out the conservatory roof was leaking!!
My youngest was 3.
I sat one day, still surrounded by boxes and sobbed and sobbed.
"We should never have moved!!!!!"
We had good reasons for moving but all I could think of was the lovely house we had spent 12 years gutting and renovating/extending.
A few years on and our house is lovely :) its a home that's cosy and warm.
It's taken money, time and effort but its been so worth it.
I think the road closure will be affecting traffic flow.
Give it time x

Moving and house buying is so stressful it's very normal to feel down once it's all over, and because the house is the thing that's changed in your life you associate feeling down with the new house. Always give it a year to settle in. If you still feel the same after 12 months then think about selling.

It's hugely stressful buying and moving.. but even more so having twins I suspect. I actually think you should do the simplest of renovations just to make it feel like home e.g. just painting, new carpets etc. Just get it reasonably attractive and functional (where is washing machine? how will you dry clothes? etc.) as the babies will be all consuming. When your children are 4/5 you will start to get your breath back and you can really consider what you have bought. Then you can either extend etc. or sell. I would definitely be getting a car though (much, much cheaper than moving) so you feel less trapped. I am just leaving behind the house that I had for a baby stage and can now have all the things I wanted... but they won't get ruined!

ok OP, I regretted moving within 1 month. 3 months later the house went on the market. the location is wrong, dont like the house! were moving in 2 weeks.

cannot wait. So many will say wait it out blah, blah blah. life`s too short if you hate it that much (ds does 2, dh isnt bothered 1 way or another!) just titvate and sell it!!

A second car is a good plan - you won't regret it with the babies and at any rate, it's lots cheaper than a quick reno and additional move.