@sjola
I currently live in Gillingham, but am in the process of moving 5 minutes down the road to a house in Chatham as it's closer to my partners work :) he's lived here his whole life and only wants to leave when he retires and I moved here from Tunbridge Wells in 2018.
Old road is in one of the nicer parts (Luton road is on the other end of town so no worries there haha, it still has it's moments but then everywhere does really - I think I've only ever seen the police attending an incident once along the station road that is round the corner). I do know along the main road there are some absolutely beautiful Victorian town houses that sell for a lot so hopefully the neighbours are nice!
Not too sure about the cost to commute as I drive to work, but I can tell you that the Medway line is far more reliable and a lot quicker (as we have a high speed option so only takes about 40-45 minutes) than the line from Tunbridge Wells up to London! You should have a look at the season tickets on the Southeastern Rail website as then you will know the cost:(ticket.southeasternrailway.co.uk/search/season)
I think they are trying to regenerate the area but I think it will be a slightly long slog as it has always been one of the cheaper places in the South East and so can attract the wrong sort. That being said a lot of people are moving here from London, and so I can imagine with that there will be more wealth put back into the community (hopefully!)
I would say that Chatham has a lot to offer. Being in Old road you'll be near Rochester with its cathedral, castle, festivals etc. You're also near Fort Amherst which is just a walk up the hill from where you will be, so you can always escape somewhere a bit more unusual! Medway also has lovely green space all around :)
Ps, never had any issues in Chatham high street with people - the usual drunks but you can easily avoid them (as is generally the case in London as well), or you can go a bit further afield if you have a car etc which is what I tend to do. The main shopping centre has most of what you could need though and that's not too far from where you will be :)
Like all places you bring yourself with you so if all you see is the bad then Chatham could be a bit scary but I love it here and think it is a great base (especially with all the travel links!)