Project house - overwhelmed

[NavyPurple]

I moved to my new house around a month ago. I was particularly looking for a house I could put my stamp on so I was prepared both mentally and financially to take on a project. However, now I’m here, I’m feeling overwhelmed.

It’s a fairly big house, around 3x the size of my last property so that is part of it but mainly because I don’t know where or when to start the work. I’ve had a plumber round to look at adding a downstairs toilet and he recommended that I also look into a full rewire which will further delay things.

I feel like I’m in limbo. I don’t want to unpack properly because I don’t have the right furniture but don’t want to buy anything until the rooms have been planned. I can’t be bothered to clean most of it as I hate the decor anyway and just want to rip everything out and start again. I’m struggling with the chaos of living out of boxes and there’s nowhere to get away from the constant reminder of just how much there is to do.

If you’ve bought a project house, how did you cope with living in it before work commenced? Do you have any tips or things you wish you’d known before you started? Any advice greatly appreciated! TIA

I'm in this exact situation at the moment just about 6 months down the line! My constant lament is "but I don't know where to start!" - everything has an effect on everything else and it's infuriating! My big advice (which I was determined to ignore when everyone else gave it to me!) was live in it for a few months before you start making big decisions. It's totally true that you only learn what is right for the house by living in it. I was adamant there were things I couldn't live with but we decided to move in and manage for a few months to get it right. My advice would be to put the furniture in wherever feels ok for the moment and proper unpack so you're not living out of boxes - If there are some things you really don't need yet (I have a lot of kitchen stuff for eg) keep it boxed up and pack it all away in one room so you're not falling over it all the time. Unpack as much as you need to feel comfortable then sit with it for a few months. Our plans have changed so much since living here that we'd really have got it wrong if we'd stormed straight in.
One thing I did to help to feel at home was to paint one thing - for me it was a chimney breast I hated! Just so it feels like you've made it yours and that you've made a start. It is utterly overwhelming at the moment (not helped by the tradespeople and other visitors who all come in sucking true teeth and marvelling at the size of the job we've let ourselves in for! 😩) but one job at a time and suddenly you'll
Look back and realise how much you've actually done.

Our current house was a project. I found it incredibly stressful for the reasons you’ve said. Our next house is an even bigger project, but this time we have a plan. Start from the roof down. Fix the main issues (roof leaks, rewire if needed) then do the attic bedroom, first floor bedrooms etc etc. The kitchen is actually dreadful and it’s going to mean living out of boxes for at least a year in there before we can afford to fix it. I’m not looking forward to it, but in this house we decided to save for the kitchen work first which meant the whole house was a shit tip for a year until we could start other things and it really ground me down as I really love a clean, tidy, tasteful home to live in.

The biggest lesson I learned was to do some cheaper rooms first, that way you feel you’re making a dent and can be proud of at least some parts. Structural first, then the less labour intensive bits!

I am nearly a year in to a full house renovation that we originally planned to take about 2 years doing but a baby arriving in March means that timelines have been massively compressed.
My advice would be start with the easier rooms eg bedrooms. In our house, these didn't need more than wallpaper stripping, a lick of paint and new carpets. We could get a room done in a matter of days and it meant we had somewhere comfortable to relax and felt like we were making easy progress. Living room took us about a month and it still isn't finished but it is okay for now, just waiting for a false chimney breast to be built and a log burner put in and then it will be done.
Downstairs bathroom (main bathroom in the house) was also high up on priority list as I felt I couldn't relax properly if I couldn't have a decent bath in a bathroom that didn't have soaking wet shagpile carpet on the floor. I found most of the stuff on eBay as it was so much cheaper than other online shops and arrived quickly which allowed us to crack on with getting everything done.
Kitchen has been a challenge. We previously had an Aga that I sold back in the summer assuming that the kitchen renovations would happen quickly. Well 6 months later I was still cooking off a camping stove and had no cabinets but at least we had managed to knock through a 2ft thick wall. The kitchen cabinets have literally gone in this week and I am planning to tile the last little bit at the weekend. In hindsight I would have planned the kitchen renovations better so that we weren't essentially camping for half a year in there but you live and learn!

And ps in case you're now thinking "oh but I bet their projects aren't as big as mine" I'm getting into bed in my blue bedroom (blue shiny patterned textured wall papered walls, threadbare blue carpet, shiny broken blue curtains and a blue ceiling - all the same shade of dirty blue) having brushed my teeth in the entirely blue bathroom (blue suite with a shower that doesn't even work) and walked across 50 year old carpet in the hall that is bright purple and would be at home in the Queen vic circa 1975 and I'm listening to the squirrels that have got into the roof above my head..... and that's the good bit of the house! 😂🤦‍♀️

My advice would be to unpack and make it feel like home - put pictures up, get all your stuff out. Nothing has to go where it will eventually go, bit it will make it feel like it is your home. Also, if your budget allows, consider doing things as a temporary measure - we have carpeted bathrooms at the moment and have bought cheap vinyl, just to get rid of it, because with three children in the house carpet in a bathroom just doesn't work. Decide what you absolutely have to do - in our case windows, roof and getting rid of the weird bright pink paint that is everywhere, and focus on those. Decide what you can live with - we have a kitchen from the 1960, but it has enough space and is functional, so we'll live with it for a while. And enjoy it! You'll end up with a home which is exactly how you want it, even if you have to put up with a lot in the meantime! We're currently 2 months in and it's already so much better than it was when we moved in.

I'd start with rewiring if that's needed as it's the most disruptive.

Do you want to list on here what needs doing? Ie building works or just room by room?

I'd also unpack- using the rooms as you want to will help you decide what you want to do with it, what niggles there are etc.

We had to do this 10 years ago.
As soon as we got in we sorted the lounge (decorated, rugs, sorted fireplace etc) so we always had one nice room to relax in at the end of the day. We improved it over the years, but it was a good place to start.
I was also watching a YouTube renovation video and someone there just painted a few rooms in cheap brilliant white before they even started any work as they just couldn’t live with the colourful walls. I think this would be a good move, even if you have to later replaster or strip wallpaper, I think it would help to visualise what you can do with a space without being distracted by hideous paint choices. I also think white would add calmness to a chaotic house.

Yes I wish I'd known how miserable it would make me and I wish I'd never put so much money into a project, I didn't recoup the costs in the end and sold it + downsized to get away from the money pit in the end.
The estate agent said I'd never get the money back and should live in it for a few years and sell on without renovating but I didn't listen.
The final last straw was having to have the entire house replastered while I was living in it. i was finding plaster in my stuff for the next 5 years.
Peeling the layers off an old house is a nightmare, there is stuff, connecting to stuff connected to stuff all of it has to be unravelled and taken back to bare brick and wood and built up again.
It finished off my marriage too.
We had grand plans to make it into an eco house that were not well thought out or implemented.
Get the proper advice, forget grand designs, take it right back to bare bones and get at least three quotes for everything you do.

Both my last and current houses were projects. I feel for you.

We're still working on this one because we want to live here a while to get a feel for it. But, we did make one room and the bathroom more bearable. Get some white emulsion, pick the room that needs the least doing to it and brighten it up. That way, you've got somewhere decent to retreat to, and you can always decorate it properly later on.

Frankly, live in it for a few months. Decide if the internal layout is how you are going to retain it. If so then start with stuff like rewiring, re plumbing and central heating replacement if required. All of these are messy and disruptive and no point decorating etc if these need doing

Strip a room you are not living in and see what the plaster is like. If it is blown and falling off the wall then you might be looking at a total replaster if the house which happens after rewiring etc.

Once you have these done then move forward with others seduce as decorating, new bathrooms etc

If the internal layout isn't right, then sort that with wiring etc

Ascertain the full extent and make sure if substantial works that you go out for tender to at least three contractors and have a fully documented contract

as others have said live with what you have and do one room at a time, we are 8 months onto living in our doer upper, we have a garage full of stuff, a back bedroom full of stuff it looks like the program hoarders in there, but so far we have managed to do the bathroom, had the front bedroom rewired, decorated and today my lovely brand new carpet has gone in so tomorrow I can finally get the wardrobes out of the garage and our room will look like a room worth sleeping in, then next week my son is going to paint the hall stairs and landing then new carpets, then we will finally be able to order the new kitchen and get that rewired, plastered and sorted, so probably a year by the time it looks like a decent house, over the last 8 months I have screamed cried, shouted, got frustrated at how long it has taken but it will be worth it in the end as we are in our 60s don't intend to move ever again

If it needs more than just redecorating then do not do one room at a time as that costs loads more. If it need rewiring and plastering do these jobs in one go. Ie rewire then replaster.

Then you can decorate one room at a time starting with your bedroom and any children's rooms so you have somewhere to relax.

If rewiring buy the external fitting yourself, I have yet to find any electrician who supplies both good quality and good value fittings. They tend to go to one place where they get a trade discount but the prices are higher than many websites.

Don't unpack much until the messy basics are done or like the example above you will find dust and/or plaster in weird places, for years to come.

Good luck.

It's hard. The chaos is hard. We're probably 60% through a project house - we've done the rewire and heating system, kitchen is mostly in, upstairs is mostly done except the bathrooms and we're hoping to get them done this year. Window replacements and remedy-the-shit-loft-conversion are further down the line jobs, hoping to start planning and tackling the garden this spring.

My best advice is to get one room finished. It's much easier and calms the brain much better to have one 'haven' away from the dust and the decorating shite and piles of stuff which are inevitably everywhere. You can shut the door and pretend you have a lovely house while you're in there - my suggestion is the living room or your bedroom.

We had ours emptied and repainted in white from top to bottom before we moved in.we put in basic beige cheap carpet in the living spaces for comfort. We lived like that for almost a full year so we could find out the best areas for sunshine and the best views etc etc We then brought on board a concept planner we found on Houzz and she talked through our ideas with us and came up with loads of new ones and drew everything up into cad images that we then used to get quotes from builders and suppliers etc. We are 90% finished. Things I'm most pleased about is all the good daylight in the rooms we use most and the warmth of underfloor heating and a log burner. The towel storage in the bathrooms and each has a cleaning cupboard for all the cleaning crap . And we have a laundry room that's big enough to sort and air stuff without it spreading all over the house. There's loads more but those seem to be the best in my mind just now .
Oh the pantry how could I forget that, it's next to the fridge and freezer and so I can make shopping lists easily and see what I've got in to cook dinner etc .

We're about 7 months in to a total project house.
Done:
Full rewire
Plaster repairs following rewire
New boiler, resited to bathroom
4 new radiators
Temp vinyl flooring in bathroom
New shower
Living room wallpaper stripped, filled and sanded, lining paper and painted
New kitchen flooring
Master bedroom bay window insulated
Master bedroom reskimmed walls and ceiling
Small bedroom ceiling skimmed

It's cathartic to write that out!
All done DIY except for wiring, boiler and skimming.
Total cost so far approx £14k

Still to do ...
Conservatory roof replacement
External windows paint
Kitchen facelift
Bathroom
Wall insulation
Cavity wall insulation removal and replacement
Garage conversion

Phew!

If you can avoid living in the house during the rewire or any major plastering I would advise it. We didn't live here for the rewire, it was apocalyptic. Our house had a lot of DIY wiring though so we didn't feel safe with it and needed it doing first. Having our bedroom reskimmed was hugely disruptive as well.
I find DIY less disruptive simply as you aren't dependent on someone else.

Oh I feel your pain but also I am so jealous - XDH and I were serial project people.

This is a marathon not a sprint so settle in for the long haul.

As PP above said - get a bucket of paint and paint one room - either bedroom or sitting room or both if you can - a colour you like. Put down a rug on the horrible carpet, get furniture in place and nice stuff out. Make it feel homely.

Then give yourself a good 6 months to plan what you want done and in what order it needs doing. Research builders etc, do mood boards, buy loads of magazines. Dont rush at it - it wont let you.

We've been in our project house for 8 months now. I am typing this listening to OH making an alcove cupboard for our 2nd reception room...very noisy and dusty.

So far we have done the following:

*New boiler re-sited to the old outside toilet
*Sockets rewire - this was a HORRIBLE job and I would concur with any PP's who advised moving out if you possibly can. Our floorboards were being lifted and laid back temporarily daily as we (OH and I plus 2 DC's) were living here the whole time..it was awful.
*Roof repaired - this was our first job actually as water was pouring through the loft hatch after a particularly heavy bout of rain.
*Heating system re-connected up - house was 2 flats before and the plumbing was/is a nightmare. There was no water or heating upstairs so that needed sorting.
*Our main reception room has been done, which involved a knock-through into the smaller R.Room (which will be the kids tv room/playroom). Re-plastered, floors sanded, fireplace sorted, amazing alcove cupboards built by a good carpenter friend of ours for next to nothing.

Luckily OH is incredibly handy and can turn himself to most things, and I am happy to muck in, sand/paint do whatever needs doing so we are doing a lot of it ourselves...we have spent about 20k so far I reckon, and have no money left at this time so doing what we can do ourselves whilst we save up for the next big jobs needed: plastering throughout/new bathroom/kitchen etc..it's a long term project.

It is overwhelming..I cried and was really depressed for about a month when we first moved in. I still have to shut my eyes to the mess/bulding-siteness of it, but we are very focused and it is a beautiful house that just needs some love after being neglected for over 50 years.

Get the boring but essential bits done first: re-wiring/roof repairs/plumbing/hrating etc done first. They cost the money but there is absolutely no point in doing the pretty stuff if you're pipes are going to burst under the floor and everything needs ripping out again!

Good luck OP.