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Dilemma

4 replies

cushioncovers · 27/01/2020 18:30

Sorry about vague title. Didn't quite know what to put.

My dilemma is in need to downsize due to struggling to keep my head above water financially and to get a house I like within my budget And that feel comfortable in I would need to move about 15-20 away from family as the area I live in is expensive (West Country) Or I can stay local and downsize into a crappier version of what I already have which I don't really want to do tbh.

For context I have two older kids 19 & 22 both working and driving with girlfriends living locally. My parents are both still alive but my mum has an illness similar to motor neurone, my father is her carer along with outside help and my brother and I do what we can (we both work full time) but I go in at least once a week for a few hours.
Would it be selfish of me to find a house I love which would be a 30 minute drive from my parents ? And to move my kids away from their jobs friends and gf's. ? I feel torn.

OP posts:
Letthemysterybe · 27/01/2020 18:35

Not selfish. 30 minutes is not that long of a drive. And your children are young adults! Your needs should come first at his point.

Alternatively if you are struggling, could your young adult children pay you some rent/help with bills in order to enable you to carry on in your home?

madcatladyforever · 27/01/2020 18:39

No it's not selfish at all. I've just dowsized from the south east to the west country after divorce.
I've moved miles away from my parents and my adult son but it had to be done.
I needed the job and I simply could not afford to live there any more. Its a three hour drive from my parents but I can go back if needed and I spent 21 years bringing up my son.
I love him more than anything but I need to do this for myself now.

cushioncovers · 27/01/2020 18:43

Hi thanks for replying yes they do pay some rent but it's got to the stage where the house were in needs so much work and I'm already nearly 10k in debt despite being careful with money that moving is really the only option. Been a single parent for 10 years on a lowish income and it's been nothing but a struggle financially and emotionally.

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 27/01/2020 18:46

Madcat that was a brave thing to do. Are you settling in ok?

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