No commute or no garden with 2-8 year-olds?

[Zezet]

We are relocating to Western Europe next year and the company-allocated housing budget would allow us either to find a place with a garden about 40 minutes away from my work, or a big appartement without a garden close to work.

We will be living there for five years, with two boys that are 2 and 4. We might want a third one but quite undecided.

Would you chose the commute or the garden? For what it's worth, I work long hours, so the hour and a half I would lose is about half of the time I have with my kids during the week. Public parks are plentiful - but on the other hand I can't imagine not giving the children a garden?

By the way, we are currently living without a garden, but in a climate that doesn't allow the children to play outside most of the year, so the question hasn't really come up before.

Have any of you managed to make it work with no garden, and/or a long commute?

The only friends I know in a central flat with kids decant to their country houses at weekends.

You know that is massively unusual though, right? When we lived in (Affluent) Zone 2 our kids went to the catchment primary school and 90% of the children lived in an apartment locally with no country house! A couple had a modest second home very far away (including us) for longer holidays, a couple had council houses and small number in every class owned houses with gardens (I.e. in the 1.5 - 4m price region around there).

I would look for a balcony, even if it's just a tiny one. I do find it restrictive not to have that.

Ah fair enough. I know plenty of children who have grown up in European cities in apartments. I do think that having a balcony would be good if possible though.

Once they get older, it's irrelevant. I have a garden and the children never use it!

@crosspelican It does make sense that in a state school in a very affluent area it’d be children from council flats or flats with few of the very affluent people opting for state education.

I suppose my experience is completely different from yours as I’m in zone 5 where almost everyone has a house with a garden and those on tighter budgets tend to be in flats with at least a communal garden. I literally can’t think of a single family I know that lives in a flat with no outside space.

Thank you all very much for your answers - I think we'll pass on the house with the garden for now and see if we'll get something closer with a garden in the next few weeks. We've decided 30 minutes is the maximum commute we're willing to commute for a garden. If not, we'll do our best for a balcony or a terrace and make sure to be (very) close to a park.

For me 35-40 mins would be OK. But are we talking 35 - 40 mins usually/at most, or 35 mins best case scenario but could be much longer?

Will you be able to check out a neighborhood before you decide? Apartment and park fine if other families playing there, but not so good if not.

If possible I think a garden is essential for kids.

I'd go for the apartment in the city. I worked in a European capital and had an apartment in the centre with my toddler and absolutely loved it, lots of parks and lots of fun things to do with the kids at the weekend. I then moved to the UK and opted for the house with the garden and, whilst yes I had a garden, it was so boring and I really regretted moving out of the city !

A garden is NOT essential for children ! I think your kids would rather see more of you and you have a better work / life balance than a huge daily commute.

@1300cakes It's 30 minutes by car no traffic, as as I'll be commuting into the very center, so I think it would be quite likely that the daily reality is worse. I imagine the 40 minutes by bike are fairly 'fixed'.

@KickAssAngel We won't be able to check it out, although I've done an awful lot of looking via Google Maps - it allows you to check the size/equipment of the playgrounds pretty well. And the colleagues who already work there obviously have good advice on the neighbourshoods, plus also offered to check out any appartement/house before we sign the contract. I will definitely ask them to check out a place we might really want, but I don't want to ask too many favours either at this stage - we've never even met yet!