The phrase ‘forever home’

[Offred2]

We’re thinking of moving house and everywhere I look I keep seeing the phrase ‘forever home’, both on mumsnet and elsewhere. I dislike this phrase on so many levels.

There feels like such a smug certainty behind it. Maybe I’m just pessimistic but when I hear it I immediately think of all the unpredictable events that could mean it won’t be your forever home. For instance you may split with partner, you or partner could die, financial or health/mobility problems could mean you need to move elsewhere etc. To refer to somewhere as your forever home feels way too much like tempting fate to me.

It also feels claustrophobic and limiting. I think maintaining the possibility of one day moving to a completely new area or country is a positive thing. I’d hate to feel so settled that I couldn’t contemplate moving again.

Also, the idea of a forever home seems to preclude those who rent rather than own their homes.

So - am I just overthinking a completely innocuous phrase, or does anyone else dislike ‘forever home’ as much as me?

@exLtEveDallas yes you've summed it up perfectly. So sneering and bitter sounding.

I love my house. It's huge, large garden, double garage, big bedrooms, reception rooms etc. I would like to stay here forever.

Until I read this thread though, I'd never really considered that id acquired something that some saddo on mumsnet would try and tear apart

I like it. But l have moved a lot in the last 20 odd years and am looking forward to settling into my next property for a good few years

Conversely l hate the phrases "making memories" and "living your best life".

Yes such an annoying term!

'I'm in the house that I don't intend to sell and I don't intend to move again but I remain open to the fact that may change due to circumstances'

Exactly this. Our house is neither detached nor fancy, it does not have a driveway. We could have stretched further and bought a 'better' one (and could still), but wont. Because it suits our needs and we have made it our own. We have no plans to move. And yes, fuck me, the schadenfreude of saying 'half of you will divorce anyway' What a horrible miserable attitude.

Wow, some big comments here. I think the term just means the house youre likely to stay in for your foreseeable future isnt it? Im in my forever home - we rented for 11 years and have set up our own business and worked blood sweat and tears to get this house, and do it up! It is full of love and memories already and no way am I thinking of leaving it. Id also like to think my relationship is forever too (otherwise I wouldnt be in it) - its a positive mindset. It works for me :-)

Yes. Totally Overthinking the Kirsty Alsopp mantra! It’s just from a tv programme.

I don’t use the phrase but I guess I’m in ours. To me it means where my children will grow up. As a pp said it is in the perfect place for the DC so future proofed. We are in walking distance of their primary and potential (outstanding) high schools. We are close to activities for when they are teenagers and plenty of their friends are local. Our house whilst not perfect (too small back garden, not detached, no garage) has rooms big enough as they grow and we are making it suit us. When the children have left home it will suit us but we may then downsize and move more rural. For me the phrase just means home for the foreseeable stable future.

I don't use it, but I get why people do. I don't find it smug at all.

It just means - that's it - I'm done moving about - this is where I'm sticking. Of course circumstances change, but we can't all live in fear of divorce/job loss/medical issues and so on. Its just an intent.

We moved into ours 18 months ago and it is what it is - the house I don't intend to leave. For the forseeable future. I have no crystal ball. It's in a place I'm happy to live and has the attributes I wanted our home to have. I don't get attached to buildings particularly - I'm not 'in love' with the house - its just a house in which we live - but this is our base and the place where our children will always be welcome.