Extend or Move?

[Woodlandwitch]

We love our house.
Its perfect in most ways, although with growing family we could do with another bedroom and possibly an extra WC in the future.

We bought it as a wreck and did it up so its 100% us.

Only downside is the location. Its perfect for both our work but is more town based than what I would prefer which is a bit more rural.

We are starting to think what to do in the future and the option seems to be either move to somewhere a little bit more rural and buy a slightly larger property. This would increase our mortgage by abut £90k.

Or... we would stay put and convert the loft, increasing mortgage by £30-40k.

Option A would be something I would like to explore but DH prefers option B based on him loving the house and the effort we have gone to to get it up to scratch and he is happy with the convenience of the location for his work.
The additional benefit of B is there is less upheaval that a move would create and our mortgage can remain smaller.
Downsides of B is that a loft conversion if we eventually go down that route would also cause some mess and upheaval and isnt a simple solution.
I am also going to be having a second round of maternity leave next year and found that although I managed, I dont have a huge amount of people I know in the area (I moved to be closer to DH), and I missed being closer to my family and friends when I was off.
This is just temporary though.

How do we decide and agree on what option is best?

Both moving and extending can cost more than you think. I wouldn't like to have building work done with a young baby around though, and it would be much greater upheaval than moving. Never underestimate the power of builders to turn your life upside down.
We extended rather than move because it was cheaper to build the size we wanted rather than buy it, however, we did not have to factor in mortgage costs (and moving would have meant borrowing again, which we didn't want to do as we are getting on a bit!)
I wouldn't do anything in haste. Even if you decided to extend now, you can bet the work would coincide with your maternity leave.

Have you added moving costs into option A? Stamp duty, removals, solicitors fees, estate agents fees etc?

Moving costs including stamp duty and estate agents fees would be in the region of £20-25k on top of the increased £90 borrowing.

If you want to live more rural, then no point staying in a location that doesn't work for you. Having said that, in a rural location there will be fewer people so I'm not sure how you're going to build up a better network of mum friends there.

This was us about 7 years ago. We had lived in our house for some time and spent a fair amount of money, time and sweat on it. I wanted to move for a change of scene (more rural) and more space (bigger kitchen and more bedrooms) but my DH was keen to stay and extend. I thought we had already invested enough and should move on.

We couldn't find anything we liked. The houses that we wanted in the locations we were willing to move to were either too expensive or needed total renovation putting them over budget too. The more we looked we realised that we were actually rather spoiled with what we had (secluded mature garden, period features) and so we stayed and extended.

At the time I felt as if I was the one who was missing out and having to compromise but I am delighted with the way it turned out. I got the kitchen/family/dining/utility space of my dreams. DS1 got a new big ensuite bedroom and his old bedroom is going to be turned into a dressing room for me. None of the houses we looked at gave us that. I was going to have to pay for other peoples choices of kitchens, bathrooms, decor etc and I resented that.

The build was messy and chaotic. It took around 5 months but I would do it again.

Thanks @Belindabelle

It sounds very similar to us.
We have a large nicely done garden, off road parking and it’s a period Victorian house.

If we move more rurally and push to get the third bedroom we wouldn’t get all of that.

The thought of 5 or so months building work fills me with dread, but we would never find or buy a property that doesn’t need some level of work to get to our taste or requirements anyway.

Extending seems the best option especially when it won’t be long before child number 1 becomes settled in school.

We had a 2 bed terrace house, I fell pregnant and we had the same discussion. We did the loft. It was great for 2 years then we had another baby, ended up moving anyway. No harm done as we got the money back in sale price but part of me wishes we had saved ourselves the effort and just moved first time around.