3rd floor flat and baby, should we move?

[singme]

Baby on the way next spring. We live in a good sized 2 bedroom flat in a lovely area just near the city centre (DP can walk to work in 20 mins). Friends locally within walking distance, a big park, lots of shops and cafes. Also quite an up and coming area so flat should be worth more in the years to come.

Was keen to stay here, DP will be close by while I’m on mat leave and lots of places for me to go out and about when I’m off. The flat is 3rd floor with no lift- plan to keep buggy in car and use sling up the stairs.

Other option would be to move about 20 mins drive away to the area when DP’s family live. Would be looking at a 3 bed house in that area, it is a bit more pricey due to good schools, but a nice area. Depending on where we live there should still be a few shops etc nearby but not the same at all. Train into town for work (I drive to work anyway so doesn’t matter so much to me).

We are fortunate in that we could maybe afford to keep the flat and rent it out if we went for a smaller house in the new area.

So options are:

1. Stay put in the flat and move when baby is bigger
2. Buy a smaller house and rent out the flat for now
3. Sell the flat and get a bigger house that we can hopefully stay in for a long time

Anyone got any experience of babies in a 3rd floor flat? Is it mad to also move with a baby when we could move before?

We’re raised ground floor now (stairs up to the front door), but we were on the 3rd floor until DD was almost 2. No lift in either. Where we live the architecture is such that practically everyone has at least a few stairs to the front door, even in the multi million dollar houses, so it’s not that big of a deal. Move if you want to but I wouldn’t just because of the stairs, it’s easy to make it work. Your current area also sounds great.

Unless you have an allocated parking space right outside the front door I’d definitely get a pram that you can easily carry up the stairs. Slings aren’t always that practical when you have an older, heavier baby and you’re not going to go out with the pushchair then want to faff with the sling purely to go up the stairs when you can just carry the baby. We have the YoYo and it’s great because you can use the strap to sling it over you shoulder and still hand both hands free for baby, the nappy bag, any shopping...

Another must for us is a nappy bin/diaper genie as you won’t be going downstairs after every change!

Hmmm. We moved 3 weeks before DS was born - from a 2 bed flat in a verrrry naice area of SW London (2nd floor no lift but purpose built flats so allocated parking and easy stairs but no communal space to put a buggy), to a 3 bed house about 6 miles further out in an okay area but much more suburban. For context house cost £100k more than the flat sold for but we were mortgage free (ergo we have a £100k mortgage now - pretty small here)

I regret it every day

I thought I wanted quiet streets, more space, a garden etc. In reality, I've never felt 'at home' here. It doesn't help that we moved in my first week of Mat leave before baby arrived (it had been delayed - we were supposed to move 3 months earlier).

I'd never done the commute from the new area (two trains an hour, as opposed to a million trains and tube options in the old area); there are zero 'friendly' local cafes and places to go to with the buggy. There a one cafe, but the doors are too narrow for the buggy and the owner is rude and unfriendly.

I've just returned to work last week after a year off. I've been so lonely and miserable in this place. It doesn't help that you spend so much of your time at home that all the redecoration you want to do (but don't have the time for) is just in-your-face so much of the time.

There are a million other pernickety reasons I could list but if I had the chance again I would stay where we were and then think about it after baby arrived.

I live in the suburbs and love it here. I live in an area with tons of other young families, great parks, loads of baby and toddler classes, fab soft play and playgrounds. I spent my mat leave taking DS to classes and hanging out with other mums. I'm also a member of a premium health club with an amazing spa and a crèche. I rate a leafier, quieter area with kids - lots of 10yo bomb around on their mountain bikes here and it's safe for them to do so + in addition to parks there's countryside and the woods.

So in your position I research the area that DP's family lives in to see what there is to do for you and the little one. I wouldn't focus too much on fancy cafes or ample shops as one they start crawling, they don't want to sit still in the buggy for too long. If the area is good, then I'd move.

DD1 was in a 3rd floor flat with lift with DGS1. They moved out to a house in the suburbs.

We spent the first year of DS in a 3rd floor flat in the city. Our biggest challenge was the 2 other families in the building also had young kids, so pushchair space was at a premium!

I loved the fact that I could put him in a sling / push chair and be out and about in 5 mins to something local. The flat was also great as it was all one level which made night feeds, poonami and frequent nappy changes really easy.

I did not love trying to get him up the stairs in the car seat when he got a bit bigger, or trying to carry him (even in a sling) plus a shopping bag up 3 flights of stairs. I did used to struggle with what to do with him whilst trying to set up the puschair etc - may just be me, but I could never get the bloody thing out of the car / up with DS in a sling, always felt really unstable!

Overall tho, I'd recommend staying in the flat. Being close to friends, local stuff you know and your DH being close by would be a winner for me, especially in the early months

Stay in the flat. I'm in a first floor flat in a city center and a 4 month old baby, and it's great. The best part about my mat leave has been being able to wander out of my front door and get coffee/walk in the park/go to the supermarket/go to Zara. Also, don't underestimate friends in walking distance and having access to easy public transport. Being able to see my friends easily has been a godsend.

I'd stay in the flat for your mat leave and think about moving when the baby is older, if you still want to. Mat leave can be very isolating and boring. Having friends nearby and town on your doorstep will help enormously.

Stay in the flat. Being near your parents and friends matters more than anything IMO.

Get a super lightweight buggy that you can carry over your shoulder.

Don’t do food shopping with baby unless there’s two of you. Shouldn’t be too hard to organise with only two adults to feed and a husband that works nearby.

Sorted.

Where is the flat? We kept our central London flat (2-bedroom, we lived in it with 2 kids) but we moved overseas. I would keep it if it was in a good location.

Stay in the flat, I live on the top floor of our small block with a four year old, when he younger I didn’t live here, but lived in a flat in the same area. Just hook the pushchair over your shoulder like you would a gym bag when you go up/down the stairs.

For me living in suburbia would be awful, it would also mean I’m too far away from work to take my son to school everyday.

I was in 2nd floor flat with a baby with no issues. Dh took the car to work so I kept it in the house if needed. Just did it in 2 stages (bassinet then frame) when baby was little...pick a pram that is light, the fancy designer prams tend to be massive and weigh a tonne. I bought a car seat that did him until 4 and stayed in the car as I didnt want to be carrying a car seat up and down stairs, it was never an issue. My dodgy neighbours were the main issue but sounds like you are in a much nicer area so wont have that problem!

Biggest tip I can give..once baby is a bit older and poo gets a bit more solid tip what you can into the toilet. Will save you running out to the bins everytime there is a dirty nappy.

I've now got a 2 year old and another one due soon and now in a flat on the 40th floor! Thankfully this one has a lift

it's fine
we were in a 3rd floor flat (no lifts) until youngest was 3.
flat was in the perfect location.

we used a carrier (ergo) a lot and chose a very lightweight pushchair fir when it wasn't possible (shopping).

Are you planning to move eventually? I would do it sooner so you make friends in the new location or at least plan to go to a toddler group in new location because harder to make friends once back at work.

I personally wouldn't want to become a landlord, so would probably sell and put it into a larger house, but that is because life becomes so busy with a baby that I can't imagine sorting out someone else's dripping tap is ever going to be your priority.

Will your dh help with shopping? I can see that being the main hassle transporting an older baby and the shopping. Oh plus toddler who is soaking wet with muddy boots. Damn you Peppa Pig and your muddy puddles.

We had ds1 in a second floor flat in the city centre and then moved out of town to the suburbs when DC2 arrived. Definitely more fun with 1 in the flat - everything is close by, lots on for baby and me (not just classes but walking around, cinema, coffee shops etc) and won't feel isolated easily. I loved my mat leave in the city! A newborn sleeps a lot and if it's just you at home, it will be nice to do things easily. We had to move when DC2 arrived, now it's a military exercise to leave the house and mat leave is very, very different altogether with a busy toddler about too.

We moved, but went for a longer commute and moved to a different town where we could have a house with a garden, and still be in the centre near the park and shops and museums and cafes - would that be an option to consider? A 3 bed house here was £120k less than our 2 bed, so the higher travel costs are covered too.

If you like it, stay. Plenty of people have babies in flats - I've had three! We had a lift but it was tiny and double buggy didn't fit so I left it downstairs.

Have you had your scan yet? We planned to stay in our attic flat but then my first scan showed it was twins and there was just no way.

My mum has passed away the previous year and there were tenants in her house - they gave notice when I was a few months pregnant so we moved in there. It was heaven - 3 beds so plenty of space and everything I could need on my doorstep, and a short walk to an amazing park. We stayed until the twins were 10 months old when it sold and moved just 10 mins walk up the road... sadly that road is a giant hill I can’t get the double buggy up so it’s so much harder to get them out.

There’s a lot of factors to consider but if it’s definitely just one baby you can probably manage when they’re small. Might be more of an issue when they’re a toddler.

I just want to chip in with saying that in some suburbs you can definitely walk to everything. Well, maybe not Zara but parks, playgrounds, soft play and groups, cinema with mum&baby screenings, swimming pool, library, a bunch of eateries etc. Suburbs aren't the edge of the universe lol at least some aren't.

I would stay with a baby, we're in a 2 bed flat in a great location and I love it. However we are ground floor and have a garden and now DS is 2 it makes a huge difference as we can go straight out to the garden. My best friend has a stunning flat on the 2nd floor with a garden but getting to it involves stairs / going out of the front door and it's such a pain with a toddler. I guess I'm trying to say stay but maybe plan to move once your child is around 2. Also def get a yo-yo for your buggy!

We stayed in a second floor flat until dd was 1. We too were in central London and ended up moving to the north west (of England, not London!). We kept our flat and have rented it out and bought a brilliant house for the same price as our flat was worth.

I am so glad we moved. Being in a flat with a baby is do able, but we struggled with so many things. My first wasn’t one of those transferable babies so if she fell asleep in the buggy on the way home I ended up sitting in the doorstep for an hour til she woke up. It was so difficult with the shopping, especially as we didn’t have a parking space so I was always trying to manage her and bags of shopping and a buggy etc. Our neighbours had kids and cycled so there were always lots of buggies and bikes in the hall which was annoying. If it was a nice day I couldn’t just sit in the garden while she slept, although not having a garden was rubbish even without kids.

If you absolutely had to do it if course it’s fine and you would cope. But I am so thankful we moved. Also much better schools where we are now and none of them are over subscribed unlike in London where we were outside the catchment area for the school on our road 600m away!!

Thanks everyone for your replies! Sorry I’ve been on night shift and just seen them all!

It does seem to be doable to stay in the flat (had a scan and not twins!). The only thing is baby groups and making friends in a new area- as we will definitely eventually move to be closer to DP’s family. Might be easier to do my mat leave there! But also would love to stay here for mat leave!

For those asking about location we live in the west end of Glasgow and the more suburban area would be Clarkston- so still plenty going on.

If you’re def going to love anyway I would do it now and meet all your NCT friends, baby group friends etc in your new area. I put in a lot of hours building friendships in those early days, and it was hard finding the energy to do it all over again a year later and not quite as easy. I’ve made lots of lovely friends now, we have been here 6 years, but I’m always jealous of people who are still friends with their baby days friends as their kids tend to have a lovely bond as do the parents. You’re so vulnerable in those early days that the bonds you form can be so deep.

Agree with both sides. We moved from our inner city terrace (house not flat so not quite the same scenario but we had no parking or garden) out to a suburban commuting town when DD was 18 months. It was hard at first as I work 4 days pw so didn't have much chance to socialise with other local parents and when I went to toddler groups many had already formed their friendship groups.

With my son, who was born after we moved, it was easier to integrate as I spotted the same people around locally and went to baby groups in the area so made a few friends and now two wearing later still recognise a few faces out and about to say hello to at the park etc. I wish we'd moved before my first was born.

On the other hand, before you have a baby,
you may think you have particular priorities for housing/area, but once you have your baby you know what your actual lifestyle/needs are so may buy in a different area or another house to what you might choose now.

No right or wrong really!