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About to buy a house I like but don't love

6 replies

dage · 04/09/2019 12:39

Feeling a bit odd at the moment.

We've not exchanged yet, but current plan for us and the sellers is moving in two week's time.

I like the house, I really do. But I don't love it, and really, it's the next 5-10 years of our life together. I wanted to a smaller city (I work from home so salary would be portable), my wife wanted to stay where we are (and, to be fair, keep her job), so we're staying where we are.

I feel like we never really talked about what we wanted, I just got really itchy feet after renting for 9 years. Feel like I've rushed us into buying, and now that she's excited I've got cold feet.

Told her this last weekend that if it were up to me, we'd be moving out of the city. She was totally surprised by this, and understandably not happy because things are so far along at the moment. We've already told our landlord we're moving, have arranged movers and started packing, spoken to utilities, etc. I've pulled us out of two house sales this year after offering and then getting cold feet. In fact, when we first saw this one one of the main reasons I suggested we put an offer in was to ensure that we could get away from the previous one, as my wife really quite wanted to go ahead with it.

I know we'll not get our dream house right away, but I had thought it would feel different. With our last three places together, the moment I saw them I thought "YES this is it". I don't feel that for the new house. We do a lot of cooking and the kitchen is L-shaped, no dishwasher, old gas range. Feels like will need a lot of work to get up to snuff, but most of our savings are going into the downpayment. Overall rest of the house is absolutely lovely, but also quite highly priced for area. Friends bought similar in same area 5 years ago, needed a bit more work but was £100k less.

I feel like buying a £270k house with a £30k deposit +£5k in fees and having £45k left to play with would leave us in a better place than buying a £375k house with a £60k deposit + £8k in fees and having £12k to play with. Of course, wife would have no salary initially in the £270k home so £40k less per annum, and with Brexit looming job prospects are much less assured.

I don't think there's any way we'll back out now, and I'll just need to lump it for the next 5-10 years. My only advice to anyone out there is, actually talk about what you want out of a move. I made all sorts of assumptions about what my wife would be comfortable with, and expected her to guess what was on my mind instead of actually telling her. I have learned a lot about how selfish I've been, and how important saying what I actually think is rather than just what people want to hear.
I've been treating it like moving to a new rental where you can make a move if you change your mind, I'm locking myself in now. We'll be fine, just feel a bit frustrated about what might have been.

OP posts:
InkedGreen · 04/09/2019 13:49

Meh I'm the same, moving from a house I love to a house that's just fine but in the area I need.

It's ok but I'm not even excited at moving in, it's just a it'll do for 5+ years.

Cottipus · 04/09/2019 15:25

Looked at a few places when we bought. We ended up buying a house we loved in an OK area rather than a meh house in a better area.

I (my inner snob, admittedly) still wonder if we would have been better buying in the “better” area but where we are is fine, our neighbours are nice, there’s plenty of green space, easy commute, catchment for good school etc. We haven’t seen much of a price rise here but friends who bought elsewhere for a similar price have made £100k+. But to stay in their desired area they’ve also had to pay more to move up. It’s swings and roundabouts.

Unless you have unlimited funds there will always be compromises with a house. We bought on the assumption our house would be ok for at least 10 years and 7 years in we’re planning some renovations to make it better suited to our needs. We haven’t ruled out moving in the future but we’re happy to spend some money to make things nicer, more practical and use the space better.

MilloT · 04/09/2019 18:50

‘’I've pulled us out of two house sales this year after offering and then getting cold feet’’

Doesn’t sound like your ready. Grow up and stop messing people around

BitOftheSea · 04/09/2019 18:54

God, just reading that I feel so frustrated for your wife. She must be furious with you. She’s absolutely making the right decision not to give up her job.

Moremoneyplease · 04/09/2019 18:55

I've felt like that with every house I've bought (on house 5 now). Each time I think, 'this'll do for a couple of years'. Been in this one for just over a year and I'm planning to put it on the market next summer! But better to be paying into a mortgage than into rent, and you might grow to love it!

Hamsterian · 04/09/2019 19:24

‘’I've pulled us out of two house sales this year after offering and then getting cold feet’’

I’m surprised you still have a wife! You sound like a nightmare!!!

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