I feel like our vendors being an arse and I'm not sure what to do.

[OoohOnly90CaloriesIllhave10]

Background - we have a house that we got interest in right away. An offer accepted after two weeks. We found a place and offer accepted the following week. Our vendor is buying a place in suffolk. Then she was buying a place in Sussex. It added on time so she was willing to break the chain.
We lost our buyer and found another a week later. It took 3 weeks to catch up to the point we had been and we were ready to exchange.

Our vendor went quiet and AWOL last week.

Turns out she has ditched Sussex and back to Suffolk, only just ordered the searchers and her vendor has put and offer in.

We were .
We were ready to exchange contracts!

She is refusing point blank to break the chain now.
She's even risking losing us as buyers (through losing our own buyers because of the delay).

What do we do?! If we pull out of our purchase we lose our buyer anyway.

Do we view houses? If so, do we withdraw from our original purchase first? Or when we put an offer in? Or when our offer is accepted?

To clarify - the vendor kept changing where she wanted to live. By miles and miles.

Apparently it's been 4 times in total that she has changed.

And it's not like Sussex and Suffolk are next door....

On your shoes I would proceed with my sale and look into places to rent (long term it short term and storage) and alternative places to buy.

Effectively you’re breaking the chain but then at least you hold all the power. I would not tell the vendor you’re doing any of this in case you still want to purchase their house but they don’t sound very reliable so buying their place might not be a possibility anyhow?

Start viewing your sale and any purchase you make as separate transactions.

Surely it's not relevant where she wants to live, she should just sell to you within the agreed timescale, put her stuff in storage and rent somewhere or live in a hotel.

She doesn't have to purchase another house in order to complete the sale with you. All she needs to do is complete with you and move out.

All she needs to do is complete with you and move out

If only life were so simple.

Some property vendors can be quite unreasonable.

It comes down to how much you want to buy that particular house, and what alternative options there are.

Do we view houses? If so, do we withdraw from our original purchase first? Or when we put an offer in? Or when our offer is accepted?

Yes, but don't withdraw your offer on this one until the next has been accepted.

Firstly, it doesn't matter where she is moving to or what she is buying - as a PP said, it's the timescale that matters so don't waste energy on her location.

Would you put your stuff into storage? Do you have anyone you can stay with, so you can sell your own property?

I'm not bothered about her location.

I'm bothered that she keeps finding a place in those locations putting in an offer, having it accepted, starting the process just to change her mind and begin it all again.

The changing of location several times is not only adding a lot more time on it but it's showing a huge lack of commitment in moving.
How many more times will she have a change of heart? Will she pull out just before exchange?
If she was solid she would break the chains she has said she is able to but just doesn't want to.

Our stuff is in storage, and we have just had to move out of our rented flat into the empty house after we lost our first buyer.

The council tax on this place is extortionate and we were unable to afford the rent bills and CT on the flat and on the house and I just had my last maternity pay when we lost the buyer.
I'm a student nurse going into the third year so work will be thin on the ground because the last year is so full on.

We moved into the house very reluctantly but we had no choice financially speaking.

I'm confused! So did you move out of your house which you are now selling to rent a flat, and now have had to move back into it?

Sorry no we rented a flat and inherited the house we are selling.

It's a proper squash and a squeeze here hence why our stuff is in storage.

I see, so you inherited a property that has high council tax. But as you've now got no rent to pay, you should be quids in? I get that I too might be a squeeze and your stuff is in storage, but I'd just go with the flow. Don't tell your buyers yet, delays are extremely common with house purchases. I'm guessing this is the first house you've owned? My DS is a conveyancer and he says the average house sale/purchase timescale is 16 weeks if things go smoothly. I would say, though, that if your buyer changes her mind again, put the house back on the market.

Not quids in.

I have no income at all so we are reliant on my husbands income which isn't great and I'm about to embark on my third year at uni.

16 weeks sounds great.

We're well passed that though unfortunately. We're nearly 7 months in, and it looks like another few months are being added on thanks to the vendor. There's already been a load of delays but this one seems the biggest.

The other issue is that the house needs work from top to toe, new bathroom new kitchen, walls knocked through.
The longer this goes on the longer I'm in the middle of a building site while I do my dissertation. The whole thing looks less and less attractive thanks to her delays.

My head hurts.

Well I'd pull out then in that case. How do you get mat pay when you're a student? Surely you'll have your student maintenance loan?

I got maternity pay from the job I was working at lol

Personally I would proceed with your sale. It is too expensive to keep going. Try and find a cheap rental, consider holiday caravan, anything. Start viewing again. If your vendor, gets act together, great. You could consider giving them a time limit for completion. In the meanwhile, you might find something else, that suits you better.