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Help! Is my NPD mil going to try and steal our identity?

13 replies

ZoeRose81 · 07/04/2019 04:22

My mil lives in America, but until Christmas would make regular, long visits. The longest one came last summer, when she stayed for four torturous months. We knew she’d registered at our GP while she was here, but I’m now starting to suspect she may have registered other stuff. She was very abusive to my husband in his childhood and moved to America when he was in his mid-teens, dumping him in the care of his wonderful sister. She didn’t really bother with him after that; not until he got a house, grandkids (although she only wants one of them) and stopped liking where she lives in the very cold north of America. She came for one week at Christmas and her behaviour was so awful we are contemplating severing ties. She has now announced, via sil, that she is moving to Southend, despite the fact that she is now not speaking to us. We are the ONLY people she knows here - she is actually Scottish. This is going to escalate horribly as, if you’ve ever dealt with an NPD, all she now wants is to ‘win’ against us. I’m scared she may have legal rights to our house, if she can prove that she has stuff registered here? Also, as a separate issue, she has a long and charming history of accusing people of violence against her, abuse/neglect of their children to social services and just general, awful smear campaign stuff. There’s a reason I’m typing this at 4am; she’s here this week and I am terrified of what is going to happen when she launches war.

OP posts:
blackcat86 · 07/04/2019 04:30

Why are the 2 of you allowing this level of contact with someone with such a serious risk of accusation, who would even contemplate trying to lay claim on your home and who was so horribly abusive to your husband? It sounds like you're both still caught in her web if allowing her to do this and treat your children separately. You're acting like a child with no control on the situation but you do have control because its your home, regardless of how she makes you feel. Please boot her out, see a solicitor if you have concerns, seek individual and couples therapy to break free from her.

Selmababies · 07/04/2019 05:52

How could she possibly have any claim to your house?
If you are buying it, does she have any noney invested in it, or is she a part owner of it?
If you're renting, is her name on the tenancy agreement?

You say she's currently not talking to you. Perhaps it would be best to continue with this and not respond if she tries to contact either of you?

Bagpuss5 · 07/04/2019 06:02

When she leaves this time DP must tell her he does not want to see her again. THere might be a showdown but better one showdown now than years of stress. Then change your door locks , tell SIL you want no more contact and that you will cut contact with sil too if she acts as go between.
She deserves nothing from DP after how she treated him.

TheFatberg · 07/04/2019 06:32

Why is this on Property / DIY?

RubberTreePlant · 07/04/2019 06:36

I’m scared she may have legal rights to our house, if she can prove that she has stuff registered here?

Huh?

Of course you cannot get legal rights to a real estate property by using the address for things. Nobody would bother buying a house if that were the case.

RubberTreePlant · 07/04/2019 06:37

Also, as a separate issue, she has a long and charming history of accusing people of violence against her, abuse/neglect of their children to social services and just general, awful smear campaign stuff. There’s a reason I’m typing this at 4am; she’s here this week and I am terrified of what is going to happen when she launches war.

This is going to be one of those escalating real time sagas, isn't it? Confused

Just tell her she can't stay. Lock the door. The end.

Coyoacan · 07/04/2019 07:01

Is she staying with you while not speaking to you?

NerrSnerr · 07/04/2019 07:05

How on earth could she have a claim on your house (unless she part owns it?). You can't go and stay with, register with a GP and then be entitled to the house.

NerrSnerr · 07/04/2019 07:07

If she's staying with you has she not told you she's moving to Southend? Why not ask her?

Legofriday · 07/04/2019 07:09

OP. Are you the home owner? You can register with the land registry (it's a dotgov address - watch out for all the first ads on Google which purport to be the land registry). They have a free service where you can be emailed if certain things happen which suggest someone is trying to reregister your property. (it is possible for fraudsters to effectively sell a house they don't own - there's been some cases.)

Squeezle · 07/04/2019 07:10

Have you got a lock on your filing cabinet / desk drawer / box of doom where you keep your paperwork? If not, eitheh put one on or move it into a kind neighbour's garage so nothing can be accessed.
Change the wifi code and pretend it is broken.
Change any internet passwords.

ApolloandDaphne · 07/04/2019 07:14

I think you are panicking and not thinking clearly. How can she have some claim to your house? Is she staying with you at the moment?

stucknoue · 07/04/2019 07:25

There's no way she can get a claim on your property, the only advantage having a gp will have us establishing that she's domiciled in the area for social housing purposes. There's certainly a bit of drama queen in this post - unless there's more we don't know (like mil owns the house)

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