What makes a perfect home for raising children?

[Yoozanaim]

Other than all that mushy love stuff!

We are currently looking at relocating for work and this being our final move until maybe the kids fly the nest. Currently aged four and eight. What do you look for? (Modest. We do not have an excessive budget (for the area).)

I'm considering the house itself and the surrounding area in which they grow up.

I have on my list:

• Village/good community vibe/spirit
• Good access to extra-curricular activities and clubs etc
• A good swimming pool (slides etc - well, certainly my children would like this!)
• Green open spaces and not too polluted by traffic and industry
• Safe/low crime
• A big enough garden for a kickabout/running about and growing things
• A bedroom each (I have a boy and a girl)
• Well-served by public transport for us now but also when the kids are teens and getting around independently
• A cul-de-sac - though I suppose we could move to one and there be no other kids to play with. So I don't know how much to hang on this one.
• A garage or shed so the bikes and scooters aren't in the hall as we come in (as they are now, argh, hate it).
• Good internal storage

Anything I am overlooking - I really don't want to move again during their childhood and want to get this as right as possible, not least cos moving costs a fortune.

For us, more than one reception room is key. This has made a huge difference for us.

A good sized enclosed garden the kids can play in is important too.

Ultimately though, you remember what you did as a child, not where you lived.

If getting the perfect house means stretching yourselves on the mortgage, that's not always the right call. Don't push the budget for the sake of fulfilling the wishlist, if it's at the expense of holidays, days out, school trips, parties.

Schools
Public transport
House prices
All the other stuff is "nice to have" IMO

We relocated when our DC were similar age. We looked at all areas within a commutable radius of my new job. We knew we couldn't afford private school so needed decent state schools. There were plenty of nice areas with good primary schools but far fewer top notch state secondaries. We ended up with a shortlist of 3 areas with outstanding secondary schools, and then it came down to availability of 4 bed rental houses (very few!). We are also close to a mainline train station which has been fab for the teenagers as they have their independence. Their friends who live in villages are reliant on lifts from parents as bus services are non existent.

Yes I was just coming on here to say good schools would be at the top of my list!

Sounds like you want to come to Horsham.
Sussex (so a bit cheaper), but v. close to Surrey
Excellent local pool.
Safe and reasonable sized town
On the doorstep of beautiful countryside
Really good schools

Close enough to both Brighton and London to go out for the evening

It's a bit boring (I'm a Londoner and miss it) but it ticks your boxes

2 reception rooms so one as living room other as playroom, as children get older turn playroom into dining room

Definitely:

• Access to good schools
• Access to public transport
• Access to green space
• Safety in the local area
• A well-rated GP nearby
• Close to shops/high street

Nice to have

• A local fitness centre for swimming or other indoor sports should they start liking that

I'm not sure a village would be great as they would feel a bit isolated from friends and unable to move around as they grow up.

Question for OP : how wide is your search net for these areas? How are you going about collecting information on the areas that do and don't meet your requirements?

We moved to a village end of last year and DD has already made about 10 friends of her age in the village. Villages do vary though - ours is a few thousand people and has both a outstanding rated primary and outstanding rated secondary in the village so its popular with families. If the village was only a few hundred with no schools then it could be quite isolating. Really need to research each area very thoroughly - having school 5 mins walk away and DHs work 5 minutes away has,been ideal for us - around 6 hours of commuting per day taken off for them from when we were in London and I wfh so another 2 hours off per day.

Trains can be reliable but bus services I wouldn't bank on so would go for all your key essentials in walking distance if possible. Our school also has a sports centre open to village as well as youth club, daily after school clubs, army, navy and airforce cadets and a zoo.

Thank you everyone for the really helpful input. You really have mostly put me off village life unless I can find one large enough to cover the other bases. Am especially concerned about the teens not being able to get themselves around independently when the time comes

hh19, I am busy looking up properties on RM that I like, and will then whittle it down after more in-depth research on each area - factoring in commute to London but bearing in mind that that job may end (the nature of his work) and DH can look at other jobs closer to home, and knowing where the key hubs of his industry are. Though he has lots of options in London so that is important too. I also want to be able to go in to London with the kids once a month at least, and not feel like it's a massive long trip outwith peak traintimes (i.e. irregular, long and calling at all the stops, once rush hour is over).

I am open to being told a better way of doing things though! We are flexible on area within Surrey/Kent/Sussex or just outside - depending on commuting times to London. I'd love a village with good facilities if I can find one, or else a small town, or a suburb of a town, with a pretty high street we can walk to, not reliant on the car all the time, and lots of family-orientated community activities so the kids can make friends quickly and feel involved. At the same time, both are quite happy being homebirds when the mood strikes, so I'd like a good home space with a big enough garden that we don't have to go to a park if they want a run around and to hug some trees, with big enough rooms so they can hang out comfortably and not feel cramped. Primary schools are actually low on our list as we home educate for now, and I don't see that changing for this stage, but I want to factor in secondary schools so we have that option later. Also as home edders, that does mean we need extra space for them to work at home - a comfortable area for both of them. And also as such, they require great access to the extra-curricular activites like they currently do - trampolining, gymnastics, dance, football, dive club, singing club etc.

I don't know if my requirements are too vague or too much!

Extra stuff we personally like doing, but I didn't intend to have this thread be just about our requirements, rather to get an idea on what most families would look for.

We'd love somewhere with safe cycling routes - DCs and DH would especially love a velodrome, but also lovely countryside bike rides.
DH used to love rowing, I'd love to move us somewhere where he can get into that again (I expect the kids will like it too, when old enough).

I especially love Xmas - so if there was a village that went especially crazy at Xmas, that would be brilliant!
Same for something at New Year, especially aimed at the kids. Though if we lived close enough to London the fireworks there would tick that box every other year.
I also love bonfire night so if a village went all out on that, that would also win me over!
I'd also love a village fete/somewhere that ran a good funfair.

I do not care about shopping or pubs, neither does DH - but I guess I need to consider that the kids will, when they become older.

Decent access to LGW/LHR would be a bonus - so nice to have a short trip home after landing at the airport. Also accessibility to Folkestone for the EuroTunnel, and Waterloo if not taking the caravan.

I don't know that area that well but had a colleague who was looking for similar whilst working in London and they went to Lewes and have been very happy there.

Prioritise safety, schools, public transport for when they're at secondary, garden, big kitchen.

And at least two showers. I had no idea how many showers secondary age children have, or how long they're in there for!

Thank you for the recommendation - Lewes too far from London for our needs though - but I have been, and it is lovely indeed!

Ok, thanks - I will bear all that in mind.

8yo is already loving lots of long hot of showers at least a couple of times a day! Actually, as is the little one.

We have just bought with a 1 year old and these were a must for me.

• A garden that ISNT overlooked
• a driveway to fit cars and easily get the kids out the car
• preferably an enclosed driveway (gated) so they can't run off into the road!
• a toy room/second lounge
• schools nearby with excellent Ofsted rating
• ability to extend outwards or up!

I did originally want a large kitchen diner lounge open plan but realised when she gets older she'll have her mates round in the kitchen chatting etc and I'll want to be sat separately from them!

I never found it an ordeal.
I live in a village. Primary school, church and a good pub. We have a bus once a week. Been here thirty years. It is the longest I have ever lived anywhere. The kids as teens didn’t want to move even though the house became too small for six of us. We were lucky that there were other teens in the village and they used to pack up picnics and cycle. Two villages nearby have pools and we are only five miles from the city pool. We have lots of walks, playing field and woods to build dens in. We had a pony too. They had a ball. Raised money by having impromptu charity tea and cakes stall on the village green and just generally had fun entertaining themselves. We never heard, “ I’m bored.”
Don’t let people put you off villages. Map out what you want and see what you are willing to compromise on. Then it is about falling in love with a house. Good luck.

WBWIFE, hope you are happy in your new home.

Thank you for that, Bowerbird5 - that does all sound idyllic! I do think it's a lot of luck though to have enough friends for them around - you also have four, and I only have two (and am done) with a four and a half year gap, so I do worry they won't have enough friends to hang out with, each, possibly, if we are too remote.

Thank you

We havent moved in yet just going through all the motions now. Very stressful and it needs full reno so wont be living in it got a while!

Good luck in your search x

Cycling and rowing?
Welcome to Cambridge!

Thanks, WB, and good luck with all the renovations and moving in.
Cambridge looks lovely - but it's a bit far from London for my idea of a comfortable daily commute.

We're in a fairly small town but has schools, library, leisure centre with pool, shops but not many chain stores, doctors etc, but in 10 minutes walk we can be on a footpath in the country. There are bigger towns that have bowling , cinema, more teenage friendly shops around 20 min drive away or 5 min by train. My DH would prefer somewhere more rural but i dont want to end up being a taxi service.

But please remember that children don't need 'a perfect home'. So no need to bend over backwards to get everything right!

Cambridge is 50 mins from Kings Cross, with lots of great properties within 5 mins of the station - what is your max comfortable commute time?

I just got to the end of this thread and thought that you are describing Cambridge and see that snog has said the same. I would live in Cambridge in a heartbeat but can't afford it so we live about 40 mins north by train. It has everything you have said that you want and I envy people who live there as I think they are giving their children a much better start in life than we can.

Agree Horsham is worth a look. Dorking and thereabouts is also nice. Reigate. All around there. Have a good drive around, and a good look at past threads on here. Good luck!

Honestly it's down to money - the more "perfect" the location the higher the price. Stations command a particular premium. I would certainly work out schooling, including bus to secondary options as many villages only have one option.