What makes a perfect home for raising children?

[Yoozanaim]

Other than all that mushy love stuff!

We are currently looking at relocating for work and this being our final move until maybe the kids fly the nest. Currently aged four and eight. What do you look for? (Modest. We do not have an excessive budget (for the area).)

I'm considering the house itself and the surrounding area in which they grow up.

I have on my list:

• Village/good community vibe/spirit
• Good access to extra-curricular activities and clubs etc
• A good swimming pool (slides etc - well, certainly my children would like this!)
• Green open spaces and not too polluted by traffic and industry
• Safe/low crime
• A big enough garden for a kickabout/running about and growing things
• A bedroom each (I have a boy and a girl)
• Well-served by public transport for us now but also when the kids are teens and getting around independently
• A cul-de-sac - though I suppose we could move to one and there be no other kids to play with. So I don't know how much to hang on this one.
• A garage or shed so the bikes and scooters aren't in the hall as we come in (as they are now, argh, hate it).
• Good internal storage

Anything I am overlooking - I really don't want to move again during their childhood and want to get this as right as possible, not least cos moving costs a fortune.

• safe area
• walk to school/ town
• green, not polluted, not on a main road
• garden
• public transport
• a bedroom each
• not cramped or cluttered
• friendly neighbours
• not isolated

We live in a small town which is the best of both worlds. There is plenty for DD to do that we can walk too. Our nearest big city is around 15 miles away and we have got loads of lovely surrounding countryside and green spaces. There is a doctors, library, schools, shops and dentists in the town we love it here.

The second reception is great if you want to discourage TVs/games consoles in bedrooms etc. The garage had been converted before we bought this house and it's been a great games room for the kids over the years-messy play, big toys, football table, air hockey etc as well as tv and sofa.
I wouldn't be too hung up on cul de sac. We lived on one before and now on a reasonably busy village road and the traffic doesn't bother us

Hm, you really are putting me off village life! Surely there is a compromise - a village-ish town! :D

Right now, my kids are swimming obsessed, we are spoiled and have a fun one very close by and we have membership so go several times a week - we are used to it, I accept it will change as they are older but right now they love it so much and never tire of it. It's not a focus for a search, but would be a real bonus to have one fairly local.

Have added two showers minimum - we already benefit from a two-shower/toilet house and I'd not want to go back to just one.

There certainly are village-ish towns. Whereabouts in the country are you looking?

If you don't know the area well, I would really recommend that you rent first. This allows you to have the luxury to sell/buy without a chain and offer the flexibility of really pinpointing the road/s you really want to target, then wait for properties to come on the market.

Location, location, location! Don't be afraid to buy a doer-upper for a final home. Space and potential - that's all you need. You can change the layout of a house/renovate/extend it/install an extra bathroom, etc when funds allow.

Choose a town big enough to have at least 2/3 secondary schools that you will be satisfied with.

Decent internet connection. Should be taken as read but there are large swathes of the country where it's really poor.

Parking. There's a good chance that "fleeing the nest" will be the last in a sequence of events for adult children that includes starting careers and driving.

We've lived in a very quiet village for over 20 years now, and I originally grew up in the same village with my parents.

We moved from town with our small DC, and the change of life was amazing. Fresh air, no traffic noise, small village school. It only really got harder with ours into teenage years as the bus route was fairly limited so we seemed to drive them round a lot, but that was a small price to pay for the location. And you find with secondary school anyway that they make friends from all over the county as schools don't seem to have catchments anymore!

We bought a large detached, with a big garden and we used our dining room as the DCs playroom for about 10 years so we had a toy free living room. I'd say having one room for just adult space was my sanity, especially in the evenings. And room in the garden for a kids shed.. to fill with their crap toys.

Small ish town for me.

Walk to school - secondary and primary - this has proved brilliant.
Friends all around when older.
Park near by.
Local swimming pool and gym etc within 20 mins walk.
Town centre 30 mins walk.
Good bus service.
Not all open plan house - kitchen/dining/game area but separate lounge
2 toilets

Another vote for a town if this is your forever home. We live in a wonderful village that is quiet with a fantastic school that is suiting us down to the ground with primary school aged children. However, we will likely move in a few years to our nearest town 3 miles away when they reach high school, they've recently cut the bus service and I know teens here get very bored. On the one hand it's nice to know they'd be kept out of trouble (to a degree) but I grew up in a rural town and I remember how isolating it was for my village friends.

In terms of house I will be looking for bigger bedrooms or if not (as we like modern houses so that makes them smaller!) at least an additional space somewhere for them to do homework. Kitchen diner, detached is hugely important to me. And thinking about parking spaces for when they get their own cars (also problematic for modern houses!)

Yoozanaim: There is a pool in my nearest village/town, but it is attached to the secondary school and struggles to get volunteers to open it in the holidays. The nearest two towns both have poools that are professionally run. Therefore if you want a pool, research how it is operated because it might not open much at all. Towns just have more facilities and some are very pleasant near me. If I had to make my choice again, after 32 years in this house and bringing up 2 DDs here, I would have gone to a town. We have a massive garden, land, big house, our own pool but friends are not here and never have been. Dog likes it though!

I'd want my kids to be able to walk to school.
We are in a small city where the kids just cycle everywhere on their own - I maybe give mine a lift once a month if that. That level of independence adds HUGELY to quality of life for both adults and kids imo. My dd organises her own social life and activities. It's even safe to walk around at night because it's busy.

I grew up in a village with 2 buses per day and it was so isolating plus my parents were forever needing to give me lifts. Villages sound like a nice idea but the reality is that you will be focussed around driving everywhere spending endless hours in the car and polluting the planet. Teens often hang around bus shelters and benches drinking and taking drugs - more so than in cities as there is not much else to do.

Where I grew up you couldn't even go for nice country walks without driving as there were no pavements. We have lots of footpaths by the river and parks to walk in and don't need to drive to get to them. My city house is much quieter than many village houses - less traffic noise and no rural noise. And the mud in the countryside is insane...you will need that boot room...can you tell I'm a city girl?

Also villages can be very small minded, you won't get the diversity of a bigger place. That's ok if you fit in, but if you are part of a minority or have less mainstream views or interests then this is a potential issue.

When we moved to a new area we looked for
Good schools in walking distance
Availability of wrap round care
Out of school facilities, we could walk to (cinema, pool, clubs, park, restaurants, theatre)
Public transport
Feeling safe
Stuff to go on days out
Housing
We're in a small town but near enough to big towns and its great.

Snog so agree about avoiding a life of constant lifts.

We live in a village with 2 pubs, post office , village shop, hairdressers, doctors surgery, primary school, take away (pizza) , ice cream and chip van once a week. Numerous buses to surrounding secondary schools, train station on the main London Waterloo line and it’s smallish village - so don’t rule them out. Nearly forgot the Cricket club! ( Devon)

Train also goes to Exeter ( nearest big city 15 minutes).

I’ve recently moved within my own village (which is not very villagey and would tick most if not all of your boxes). We used to live 50 yards (with no roads to cross) from a playing field/play park and I’m so glad we’ve moved equally close to another - although smaller - one... from a young age it’s somewhere to meet people and somewhere to hang out safely when you’re older.

There are village-ish cities! Places like Bristol or Edinburgh have great countryside access and a villagey feel but all the amenities you’re looking for
Keep your options open

House: modest requirements = two loos, kitchen diner, separate living room as it’s nice to have some peace sometimes, somewhere to put coats and shoes, garden big enough for a shed for bikes and to eat and play out and hang washing,not on a main road, parking.

Walking distance: good primary school, some shops, park, cafe, somewhere for a nice walk/bike ride, playgroups/activities for pre school age children, sports teams/after school clubs for primary school age.

Short bus ride/drive: swimming pool, children’s farm, library, cinema, family friendly pubs/restaurants type things, good secondary schools

Local vibes: other families nearby, activities for toddlers nearby, local events festivals/fairs/carnivals, leafy, and I’d probably be more attracted to an area that was politically aligned to me.

Thanks - looking at Surrey or borders around. I know it's an expensive part, but DH will be working in the area so I'd like to reduce his commute.

We will of course rent first to get a feeling of areas, but that does mean tying ourselves to the first chosen area for the obligatory six-month contract, getting the kids set up in clubs and activities and making friends, and then to uproot to move elsewhere will be a chore - so I'd really love to find an area to focus on asap.

Parking is a good one, thanks.

Fresh air and limited traffic is what I'd like too, hope it's still possible.

Userisi, I am finding that too about newbuilds, and it is so annoying - and the titchy gardens too - so small they may as well not have bothered. Also vastly uneven bedroom sizes, so one child gets a double room and the other a box room. It's infuriating.

Good to know, Bubbles, re pool restricted times - I'll research properly.

Letme - ha, interesting about the politics - it won't be top of my list of reasons to choose one place over another, but I figure it would be better to live somewhere where most people vote the opposite to me, so my vote will help the numbers of my preferred party, and try and sway things. :D

Thank you EVERYONE - these are all really good things to add to our considerations, and I really appreciate all input - sorry to not namecheck everyone.

I live in the suburbs of a town.

Lots of green spaces nearby so it's normal to see primary school kids have a kick about. If one patch of grass is being used, another is easily found.

Great schools. It is a 20min walk to primary and 15mjn walk to secondary.

Lots of other families who generally use the local schools so plenty of friends to walk with.

Shops are 10-15 mins away,

Lots of families hence lots of family activities.

Public transport allows them to get to the big shopping centre or to the station that's connected to London.

I don't suppose you want to tell me more specifically where you are, nuts - if it's Surrey-ish? (PM if you don't want to be too outing on here.)

Rural is nice when they are really little but it’s a fucking ordeal with teens.

Firstly, would be by a good school ideally within walking distance.

I prefer somewhere safe and for us that meant moving out of a city and into somewhere in a village or town but need to consider places individually.

We find the village here pretty much perfect for all of us now but everything is within walking distance - outstanding schools, doctors, supermarket, gym, after school clubs, restaurants, cafes, pub by river etc. I would only do a village big enough that it has what you need in walking distance otherwise a nice town with the same that's safe.

Its also having a place you can earn enough to live on.

Finally in a house would ideally like a reasonable sized garden, a bedroom for everyone and ideally a house everyone loves. Public transport is villages is poor normally and also vulnerable to cuts so I would never go to a village on the basis you can get to places with public transport. I also would be prepared to drive to a pool with slides - mine loved that around 8 but at 12/13 aren't interested. There is plenty in the village here for them to do though and more after school activities than the city schools we left.