Help me choose between two very different houses

[reallybadidea]

Our house shortlist currently has just two houses on it. It's a bit head vs heart and I'm not even sure what I'm looking for anymore!

House 1: Large barn conversion. 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. Beautiful. High vaulted ceilings (presumably with accompanying huge running costs). Huge kitchen. Two (!!) utility rooms. Medium-size garden. Very rural, but other houses close by. 15 minutes to the nearest shop. 25 minute drive to work for both DH and me. Lots of ferrying kids around to friends and activities.

House 2. Very modern style townhouse, not sure whether the style will date a bit tbh. 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms. Small kitchen. No utility room. Tiny garden. Very urban area, supermarkets and city centre very close by. DH and I can both cycle to work very easily. No more ferrying kids around, they can get cycle or get buses very easily. Near a train station, so opens up more job opportunities for us both.

Price-wise there's only about £20K between them. Instinctively I love house 2, however we've been living semi-rurally for almost 20 years and frankly, I'm a bit sick of commuting and driving everywhere. On the other hand most of our friends are local and would still be close by with house 1. The size of house 1 is a plus in some ways, but actually the children will (probably) have left home within 4 years, so I think DH and I would be rattling around on our own most of the time before very long.

Help!

House 1

Does House 2 mean that the DC will have to change schools, when they are at the GCSE/A Level stage?

Not if we do it now. There's a fairly narrow window of opportunity from that point of view. House 1 would actually make school transport more of an issue, because it's not on the school bus route. Or any bus route come to that.

I have to say, I'm really not bothered by lack of garden with house 2. We've got a big garden now and apart from the occasional swing in the hammock, I don't particularly care for it. Mostly it's just a pain with constant lawn mowing in the summer. With house 1 I think paid help in the garden would be useful, assuming that I haven't spent all our money on heating it.

House 1
The D.C Will still be coming back to see you , and bring GF or Bfs with them
We’re older ( 50s ) but we’ve already ruled out townhouses for our future move , too many stairs ( and neighbours )
Get the DC driving lessons , and they can ferry themselves around , not sure about your commute though

Do you mean a townhouse as Doilooklikeatourist seems to be interpreting it, and as I first read the OP (lots of levels and attached to the neighbours?) or are you just referring to the fact that the house #2 is in town, not rural...?

If #2 is a detached property in the town, definitely #2. But if #2 is what most people would call a townhouse, keep looking.

Definitely not #1 with teens.

Yes, dc1 drives and dc2 is learning. Even more rural lanes doesn't fill me with joy, one of their friends was recently in a nasty crash.

I think if we go for house 2 then we would need to accept that it wasn't necessarily our forever house. That might be ok though.

House 2 is a link detached house in a small group of houses around a grassy area. Most of the other houses are apartments/semi-detached.

House 1 sounds lovely, superficially, but house 2 will improve your quality of life more, for you and the kids, neighbours permitting.

Is house 2 a 3 storey narrow house ( as I think of a townhouse , DD was in one as a house share at uni , put me off them completely )

And I don't think large houses are anyone's forever house, anyhow. All being well, you've got a good 25 years before those stairs start to become too much, though!

Most of the other houses are apartments/semi-detached.
They always say buy the worst house on the best street, not the best house on the worst street.

I would keep looking. If it were me and these were my only choices I think house 2 would win it. Independence is so important for teenagers and you never know when they will move out nowadays! Also closer to your work so less driving for you both.

House 2.

You’re 40, so at least 15-20 years more working before retirement. In those years your children will leave home and come back and leave and come back. The big living spaces you’re admiring will likely not be used much.

The commuting alone is enough to rule out House 1. If you’re sick of it now, why would you move somewhere where you’d have to do even more - for work or for ferrying your kids around?

2 bathrooms when your children are older is not going to be ideal.

2 utility rooms when you don’t have small children and don’t use the garden much - why?

I think you recognise that in paper house 1 is a good and attractive house. But that house 2 is a better practical fit. Imagine if house 2 had similar levels of attractiveness - it would be a no-brainer.

Either go with house 2, or discard house 1 and bring a 3rd house into consideration. House 3 would be in town, more beautiful than house 2 and possibly a little smaller.

I'd go for house two and convert a bathroom to a utility room.

Which house costs more? If house 2 is the cheaper one, use the £20k difference to improve it? A smaller garden when you don't have small children anymore or pets (do you?) isn't a loss.

House one.

Go for thr house you love, do not buy for the kids as they will only be at home another four years and it goes by in a flash.

And being surrounded by neighbours I think you'd find difficul ultimately if you're not used to it. Noise, noseyness, the lack of privacy really. I live quite rurally and I know when I visit friends I'd probably struggle now to be in very close proximity to others either side of me.

Just been asking the DCs for their opinion and they are in unanimous agreement that they'd happily swap extra space for being in town. I should probably mention that in September two of them will be at sixth form college in town.

@Doilooklikeatourist

Yes it's a 3 storey house, with a reception room on each floor. What put you off them out of interest?

I think what has surprised me with house 2 is how much I like it in spite of it being modern. Mostly I prefer period houses, but this isn't a typical 'estate' house, it's more unusual. But as I said, I think it could look dated in 15-20 years, just as we're moving on to a house suitable for a bunch of visiting grandchildren

I don't think that converting a bathroom into a utility would work because 3 of them are en suite, unfortunately.

@really , I think it was hauling all DDs belongings up the 2 flights of stairs !
Also made us realise that if one of us had a leg injury , or was ill and needed to recuperate it would be an issue
The parking there was a nightmare , every house had a garage and a parking space , it a lot of families these days have more than 2 cars

Yes, I can imagine that would be annoying. Hopefully we'd have removal people to do that for us Parking seems pretty good, there are three spaces. Although, we'd potentially get rid of one of our cars because we'd be doing a lot less driving.

House 2 for the sake of convenience for all, then in 10 years find a smaller version of house 1.

Convenient location wins for me. Saving time every day is invaluable. Maybe not the townhouse you’ve found though if you have doubts about it.

Town does sound like it will suit you all better, but maybe keep looking rather than settling for house2?
We moved and had a similar dilema, in the end we went with town, dd1 gets the bus from the corner and its easier for her to get lifts to/from events, which wouldn't happen if we lived out the country. This has definitely eased my workload!

I think that whilst house 1 sounds stunning, in reality, house 2 would be far more practical to suiting your families needs right now. House 2 just sounds more practical for commuting and for allowing your teens more freedom, and house 1 sounds like it's going to be more maintenance and work with the garden etc.

I would massively prefer House 2, but that's just me of course. I live in a city and my children walk, use the bus and still use me as a taxi within that, I can't imagine if I was the only one driving everyone around. The commute sounds hard work. I agree that if you have leg/back problems, stairs are an issue, but surely if you start having problems like that, driving all day every day is going to also be a problem. My teenagers love living in a city/busy area, there's a lot going on and they are able to form their own lives at an earlier age.

I hate country roads though, they stress me out so I'd do anything to avoid them!

I also don't think either house sounds necessarily suitable for much older age, but you aren't there yet and so another move might be better later on.

I honestly think it's 'keep looking'. You'll just KNOW when it's the right one!

I would always prefer to live in a town or city. Rural living just isn't for me (mainly for the car dependence thing).

As you (collective you) age it becomes more of an issue re. living rurally because there will come a time when you can't drive any more. So if you are already settled and familiar with living in a town or city then that just seems much easier than having to sell up and move to a completely different environment.