Hate the location of my house

[sqexpectantmum]

Can’t fully disclose to my husband how I feel as don’t want him to feel as I do. I’m hoping for some perspective here.
We bought 3.5 years ago and recently had a baby. She is 9 months old. I’m still on maternity leave. The flat is beautiful - Victorian with loads of features. I wish the kitchen was a kitchen diner but besides that we have loads of storage, 3 bedrooms and a lovely garden. Our neighbours are also nice so pretty good on that front.
The problem is the road out the front of the house. It is a B road in London Zone 3. The speed limit is 20 but absolutely no one abides this. The typical speed is 40.
I hate the noise, the fumes and the speeding. When we viewed the house the road was never as busy as it has become over the past year/two. Our house is set 20 meters back off the road with tall trees and double glazing in the front room (the only room opening out to the road) but I can still hear it. I hate opening the windows in the sitting room and rarely do.
In addition to the above, I also know we overpaid...by as much as 5%. The market was hot at the time and we were rash.

Maybe it’s having a baby and being in the house or walking her buggy on the road has completely put me off and making me hate living here...

Thanks for reading x

You are at home more so noticing it more.
Get a specialist to insulate or sound proof the windows
Ask council to put up more 20 mph signs

You cannot change the location
So you will have to move or put up with it.

Definitely contact the council about the speeding. Try and forget about what you've paid, you can't change it and maybe when you come to sell you'll get lucky with the situation at that point. You said the sitting room is at the front and looking out on the area you don't like, is it possible to switch the rooms around so you use that room less? Maybe use a bedroom as your lounge area so you feel more relaxed?
When you're spending less time at home, I'm sure it'll be less of an issue.
Good luck!

Thank you for you kind and positive words. We are fortunate to have a lovely home and a lovely baby. I count my blessings. Since becoming a mum I find I’m more axious about everything. I just want to provide a good and happy life for my LG.

The issues you have with location will not stop you providing a good and happy life for your child.
Look at the positives.
Plan to move in future if you really need to.

Get some help via gp if you feel you are getting over anxious as that could stop you enjoying your life with your baby

I certainly wouldn't beat yourself up about overpaying by 5%... there are plenty of giddy, gullible people who have, and are continuing to still, overpay by far more than that

I wouldn't think if it as over paying- you paid what you had to reflecting market conditions at the time. Sounds like you have a beautiful home. It's natural to question/over analyse things when you have a baby.

My friend has but soundproof windows in which he is says are amazing so could be an option for you. But honestly, wait a few more months I'm sure you will differently. Especially when the summer is here and you go out a bit more with the baby

How bad is the pollution?

Where would you move to if you sold up?

You might well be able to absorb the 5% and moving costs if you moved to a cheaper area.

I think there are great practical options that PP have suggested above to make it better in the interim. But do look into PND if you are struggling with anxiety.

OP, we got in secondary glazing and it made a huge difference.
Ask about road calming measures, but beware, if they put humps outside your house, you hear constant thuds from cars going over them.

I found living up 2 flight of stairs quite doable with a baby but hanbing out i the garden became a palaver - we used to carry the baby down in a sling and stick everything we needed in a rucksack.

I think you need to move out of London to house with a garden.

Or accept that life is rarely perfect.

I used to live on a busy main road and secondary glazing at the front made it virtually silent.

Can you reorient your rooms? Could you have a living room which looks out onto your garden? If you have 3 bedrooms there must be some potential to move the focus of the flat away from the road- facing room.

Actively look at other properties- you will see that there is always some element of compromise involved. You no doubt got a 3 bedder at that price BECAUSE it was on the B road. You could move to a 2 bed not on a main road? or move to a cheaper area? Which compromise is more acceptable to you? It might help you appreciate what you already have.
It's good there's 20m between you and the road. Can you add more planting to make it 'greener'?

I understand this op, we bought in Surrey a beautiful house that we could not otherwise have afforded, it was in our budget because it was on a busy a road.

We lived there a good number of years, but when we moved our number one criteria was not to live on a main road, and actively did not view houses that were. One house we booked into view we didn't realise it was in a main road, and when we pulled up, we both said, oh shit, it's on a main road.

I think you simply adapt and put up with it, but I don't think you ever grow to like it. We were happy there, it was a lovely house, but we both felt as you did, that we had made a mistake on location.

Your home sounds lovely so I would look at extra soundproofing. I guess if you are on a main road transport links are good and you can get out and about with your baby ?

We've lived all over the place and there are often busy roads, even in the nicest countryside often the lanes are 50mph and trucks, tractors etc

Quietest place we ever lived was a Hamlet which we were at the top of the lane which had a cow field next to our house. Way over the field there was a 60mph road which you could hear when the wind in the right direction, and you could hear cows mooing and the farmers tractor as well as the guns on weekends for pheasant shooting season

We all see negatives, look for the positives - I read 20 metres from a main London road - wow - how many London properties can boast that? Buckingham palace perhaps

You also have choices with windows and secondary glazing

I think what you're feeling is really normal! It's partly down to the amount of time you're now at home, especially at times you'd normally be at work. I felt exactly the same about our London flat (and the entire area we live in!) when I was on mat leave and it's improved quite dramatically since I've gone back to work.

I also suffered from bad anxiety and my GP referred me for some CBT which helped to shift my focus away from home and plan activities for the week. That might be something to look into?

Could you put in some plantation shutters so that you don’t see the road? I don’t really like them but in these circumstances I think I would.

I think your flat sounds lovely! spacious, trees, set back from the road, good neighbours....

Nothing is perfect unless you have tons of cash and then a bit more
My house is in a housing estate which would make a lot of mumsnetters choke and clutch their pearls! You get what you can afford. Always compromises!

I do think as well that if you're back at work then convenience would start to seem more important.

Definitely worth getting in touch with the council re the 20mph.
We are due to have one of those smiley face monitors put up in our road soon as the 20mph signs on the road and lamp posts have been pretty ineffective.

Try moving your furniture around too.

Pur longer used to have a dark wood ceiling which was a nice 'feature' when we bought it.
A few years later and then on Mat leave I hated it.
So we painted it white and moved the furniture round.
Gave such a different feel to the room.