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Original poster

Argh crisis of confidence about new house. Help!

49 replies

Penguin13 · 16/02/2019 09:06

We just moved into our new house yesterday. We hadn't been seriously looking to move but our victorian semi was just that little bit small for us and when the opportunity to look at a big house not far from us came up we thought we would have a look. It is a bit of a fixer upper, 1930s I think and lacked the charm of our current house but we saw the potential and all the space and ended up putting in an offer. The one thing that has niggled at me from the beginning is that it is on a main road but we are in a village and the noise isn't really an issue as we are set back from the road etc.

Had no doubts yesterday and was really happy to be in but for some reason am having a major crisis this morning and am wondering if we have made a horrible expensive mistake. I was sat at the dining room table which joins onto the front room and suddenly all I could see were the cars constantly going past. Our old house actually had the same but much slower. This is meant to be our forever home and I am terrified we have made a massive mistake.

Did anyone else have similar concerns after moving in and end up loving their house in the end? It doesn't help that it it needs a lot of work done which will take years to save for so things like manky carpets etc add to the overall sense of doom!

OP posts:
MrsPatmore · 16/02/2019 10:15

I think this seems to be a fairly common feeling. They say it takes about a year for a new house to feel like home. In the meantime can you at least rip out the old carpets, put some cheap and cheerful rugs down and whitewash all the walls? That wouldn't be too expensive and would brighten up the rooms.

DippyAvocado · 16/02/2019 10:21

Quite common I think. We had to move in a hurry after needing a change of plans and bought the only suitable house on the market at the time. It was a fixer-upper too and I hated it the first few months. I would start on it asap if I were you. Five years on I still don't love it but I do appreciate it now it's the way I want it.

DavetheCat2001 · 16/02/2019 11:17

Yes I think this is very common. It will take time to feel like it is your home.

When I first moved to the maisonette we are currently selling, I sat and cried! I hated it.. it was a fixer-upper too and had been rented out to some scummy students and was in a real state. I wanted to go back to my cosy one bed flat! I felt like I was in someone elses house for ages.

14 years on and we love it here and have had 2 kids who have never known another home. We are buying a big old Edwardian 4 bed house which needs a full refurb that will take years. I'm totally focused on getting it at the moment, but also know I will probably sit and cry when we get there too!

Moving house is very stressful and disorientating.

🌷

Original poster
Penguin13 · 16/02/2019 11:24

Thanks all. Already feeling better having properly started the process of putting things away. The new playroom is starting to look more like a playroom and less like a box store Grin we are lucky that the vast majority of walls are painted white which is a nice clean start though the filthy mustard carpets have got to go asap. A first peek in the lounge suggested floorboards underneath which is a step up from the concrete I discovered at our old place but remains to be seen what state they are in!

OP posts:
DavetheCat2001 · 16/02/2019 11:42

As you unpack your things it will start to feel a lot more homely. I'll bet your old place didn't feel half as nice when you had packed all your possessions away. An empty house isn't a friendly looking one!

Good luck and congrats on your new home! We're still in the early stages and I am holding my breath that nothing goes wrong as the house we are buying is what we have been wanting for so long.

Original poster
Penguin13 · 16/02/2019 20:56

Good luck Dave. Sounds like the house will be amazing. Fingers crossed for you.

Had a good day of sorting though I swear the boxes are multiplying when I'm not looking! Also found time to pull up a bit of carpet to check what is underneath.

Argh crisis of confidence about new house. Help!
OP posts:
mangocoveredlamb · 16/02/2019 21:16

I felt exactly as you describe.
6 months in we haven’t done anything but it feels like home and I know it was the right move!

DavetheCat2001 · 16/02/2019 21:26

Thanks @Penguin13

Ooh nice boards! Might you sand those back?

Original poster
Penguin13 · 16/02/2019 21:37

Thanks Dave. Yes hopefully we will be able to. They are currently covered with a dingy, stained, mustard coloured carpet so it would be a vast improvement!

OP posts:
spinabifidamom · 16/02/2019 21:41

When I moved into my apartment in 2014 I was nervous. Until then I had never lived alone before. The first few days and weeks were particularly hard. Deep down I know that it’s the right decision to have to make. But oh my it’s a big decision.
There are lots of things to do.
This is a common feeling.

AornisHades · 16/02/2019 21:41

Every time we move I end up wailing that I don't like the new house and I want my old house back. Blush
At least DH knows to expect it now...

OftenHangry · 16/02/2019 21:49

You will be fine after a bit. Maybe look at some evergreens to put in front of the house, if you can?
Congrats on a house!

I spend first night crying, because the house stunk and was so filthy. Plus it looked so much smaller in a dark and without furniture. I honestly thought I bought a shithole, just for 10k+ more than the shithole around the corner.

Came back next day, cleaned up, aired it and went to buy paint and wallpaper stripper.
Felt better about it immediately.

brick15 · 16/02/2019 21:55

I felt the same as you when we moved a couple of years ago OP. That ominous feeling hanging over my head like I’d made a terrible mistake. I must admit it took a few months but as we’ve made our mark on this home in different ways I feel a lot more at home. Maybe not completely yet (I know it’s ridiculous after almost two years) but much, much more comfortable. You’ll be ok soon and feel much better.

Mammajay · 16/02/2019 21:57

I live on a main road, setback like you. I really don't notice it now. You will love your house

alwaysthinkingofsleep · 16/02/2019 22:04

I felt exactly the same 24 hrs after moving from our immaculate period property to our ancient absolute wreck but bigger period property....after 12 hours or years I was over it & have zero regrets. So totally normal!

Mosaic123 · 17/02/2019 08:40

Did anyone find out didn't get better and they moved out?

Original poster
Penguin13 · 17/02/2019 13:04

Have you recently moved Mosaic? I guess it does happen to some people but hopefully not the majority!

In a slight detail of my own thread, am wondering if it's sacrilege to think of getting rid of the marble fireplace. I would guess it is original to the house but it is not our style at all and it doesn't seem typically 1930s. If anything Google suggests more Victorian in style. Thoughts?

Argh crisis of confidence about new house. Help!
OP posts:
OftenHangry · 17/02/2019 14:45

I got rid of mine. Absolutely hated itBlush

Mosaic123 · 17/02/2019 16:00

I haven't moved yet Penguin but we finally found something after a year of looking and we have a buyer. It's all going through but there are, of course, some compromises to make and I feel a bit funny about it all. Not sure if it's a sensible move or I'm just panicking. I've lived in my current property for 32 years so we are downsizing (a bit) from a house to a flat.

Re the fireplace:

I think it might be the hearth (horizontal) section of the fireplace that's not quite right? I wonder if it could be painted matt black to match the vertical bit of the fire and it would be better?

Or perhaps you could tile over the hearth in a dark tile with an edging?

bilbodog · 17/02/2019 16:52

Im sure that fireplace is not original to the house - i would get rid of it!

Original poster
Penguin13 · 17/02/2019 17:17

Just curious bilbodog, not being an expert in this area as you could probably tell Grin what gives it away? Just wrong era for the age of house? We almost certainly wont keep it but not really sure what, if anything, to replace it with.

No wonder you are feeling shaky Mosaic. That is a long time to spend in a house. I hope you manage to make peace with your decision one way or another.

OP posts:
Movinghouseatlast · 17/02/2019 18:50

I agree th that it's the hearth that's the problem. You could replace it with a slate hearth.

I don't think it can be original, but it may be Victorian. If so, they sell very well apparently.

We have an original Victorian marble fireplace. Despite desperately wanting a wood burning stove I think it would be sacrilege to take ours out.

I am feeling a bit like you about my new house, which is proving to be a total money pit! To get it exactly as I want it will cost so much money that we don't have. I worry we paid too much for it as prices are dropping now. I worry that we shouldn't have bought a semi after 19 years in a detached.I just worry...

Argh crisis of confidence about new house. Help!
TulipsfromAmsterdam · 17/02/2019 19:29

I sold my Victorian terrace 8 years ago and regretted it immediately. We moved into a modern house and while we settled missed the space in last house. 2 years later we had moved back to a Victorian semi.
However we are now in the process of moving to a modern house as we now need a garden. I do worry about not being able to settle anywhere and my poor husband despairs of me. I think as long as a house can meet your needs you just need to give it time and make it yours. Good luck

Mosaic123 · 17/02/2019 23:12

It is a shame that you can't spend a few nights, in an Airbandb way, in a property you'd put an offer on to see what it was like to live there.

Original poster
Penguin13 · 18/02/2019 07:46

Mosaic that would be perfect although I guess that would also highlight any flaws in your current home to the potential new owners Grin

A couple of days in and we are gradually getting more sorted (loads more boxes to go though!) and we were talking through our plans for the house yesterday night. I think the more we love and care for the house, the better I will feel about it. The extra space is a huge change for the better already and as we gradually get sorted I think we will enjoy it more and more.

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