Central London with a family?

[JoJoSM2]

We live in zone 5 and it’s a great place to be for a family. However, DH craves the countryside and I crave more time as a family. We’ve recently started wondering about living in central London during the week and then decanting to the countryside at weekends/in the holidays. That would mean less commuting so more time together and weekends outside London for a bit of fresh air and breathing space.

Where could be good in central London for a family? Any pros and cons of running two homes and frequently travelling between the two?

PS We have one baby so far and hope for another soon.

If I had the money to run two homes that would be the scenario I'd choose. If you can afford it, go for it. How central do you mean by central and what's your budget? Islington is nice I think. Pimlico or somewhere is perhaps more affordable.

The kids will hate going to the countryside every weekend once they start having birthday parties or other social activities. Also where would you do stuff like football clubs? Home or away?

Basically this will be fab until the oldest is 4. If you have the budget for central London PLUS country, I’m assuming you have a fair chunk.

What about a nice house with a nice garden somewhere like North a Dulwich or Herne Hill or East Dulwich. Easy commute to the city. Lovely family friendly community. Easy enough to get out of London southwards for hills.

Sushi, how often do children get invited out at weekends?
Missing out on time with friends is probably my biggest worry. However, it’d be important for DH to get out every weekend as he finds London too built up and busy and that includes even the ‘villagey’ areas near big open spaces.

Current area in zone 5 was a compromise as it’s easy to get into London but very green and peaceful with grazing sheep within walking distance.

Ecuse, our budget isn’t specified but I think we’d be aiming for a sizeable 3-bed and that’s achievable anywhere for us. But where do families live in central London?

We’d probably stick to zone 1 to really cut the commute down although Islington could be convenient enough if we’re close to the Victoria line.

Kids have birthday parties evert second weekend in term time (obviously more if you have more than one kid).

Every. Not evert

Lindt, that’s often! Wouldn’t be great to miss out on most :(

Where does he work? Trying to think about minimising commute time but maximise ease of coming and going.
I agree with pp that it will be fine until school, and much harder after that.
Different scenario, but I live in zone 2/3 and my ex lives in the countryside and has the kids every other weekend. It's really not ideal that they have to either miss parties or do loads of driving back and forth, and can't really join football teams etc that play at weekends.

I grew up like this, but then so did a lot of my school friends. As a teenager I would stay in London alone, not wanting to go anymore but as a child I loved it as I hated London.
Nothing stopping you from joining clubs in the village of your second home and how many birthdays do they have really? Not sure that's a good enough reason not to do it. What's your budget? Kennington/Oval/ Vauxhall is cheaper than Pimlico for example. Also prices outside London are pretty high as well, you're going to have to go quite far out and more than 2 hours drive on a Friday night is a bit much.

If you want more family time how about flex working, so only a few days commuting in for your dh.

Running 2 houses would be very costly and could be a real weight around your neck.

Families live all over Central London. Being near Hyde Park is great so Bayswater, Notting Hill on the north side of the park or South Kensington on the south side of it. I would be there in a minute if I could.
Go for it!

Maida Vale, the area around Warwick Avenue, Notting hill, bits of Bayswater are nice...

Lived just off Warwick Avenue on one of the mews for a couple of years, including with baby, and it was absolutely my happiest time in London.

Pootlebug, that does sound rubbish for your children.

RollerJed, DH needs to be physically present in London and working from home could be a challenge even once a fortnight. Also, we wouldn’t want to be separated in the week so if this move doesn’t turn out to be a good idea, we’ll just stay put where we are and he’ll carry on commuting 1h each way.

Linoleum, whereabouts in London did you grow up? I wondered if leaving at weekends is more common in some areas eg Chelsea or Marylebone? Don’t some prep schools finish early on Fridays as well?

In terms of property, I do quite like the sound of an apartment building with amenities (cinema room, swimming pool, gym, entertainment suite etc) and there seem to be good ones in King’s Cross and Nine Elms. However, might trade in the amenities if there’s a more family- orientated area to be found eg in Chelsea.

Example of a flat I like the look of:
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-63569218.html

For the country property, we’d be looking within 1.5h of London ideally (could be by train if the traffic is awful) and I feel we’d be ok with travelling.

TheSheep, that sounds promising! Why did you move?

@JoJoSM2

The house was rented (got it very cheaply) and the landlord decided to sell - and almost simultaneously I separated from my partner.

Currently getting through the toddler years as a LP and building experience in a new (though related) sector up in Yorkshire with lower living costs etc- but looking to come back to the city when DS is ready for school. Thinking east dulwich or similar as a vague target.

OP I would never choose to spend 5 days a week in an urban flat with 2 young children if I had the money and choice.

You have one baby now, but having a 4 and 2 year old (say) is very very different - they need space and ideally a garden! They run around, make noise and mess and have lots of stuff. Of course some people can’t afford the space and manage in a flat, but you can.

I would suggest you look for a family house in zone 2 (much more green and family oriented than zone 1) and rent a country cottage for your weekend escapes.

By the time your DC are school age you can then decide whether you are going to make country or town your main home. Your DH work position may be different then etc. As PP said you do really need to pick one home once they are school age.

Remember if you’re looking at private schools you need to register very early (ie now) for schools in all the areas you may want to live when your child is 4.

My DH loves fields too but has had to accept that living in rural countryside is not compatible with his job and hours. Or his townie wife

I wouldn't want two homes, kids need stability. Your best option is somewhere with a max 45 min commute, you mention the Victoria line so on the Gatwick line is an option. We live one hour from central London, 2 mins from fields (car, 15 mins walk) and have city amenities here as well. I would not want central London, too busy but when we visit we book a nice hotel!

OP if you live in SM2 now then you live in one of the best areas in London for schools in terms of choice for private or state - why would you want to lose that by moving more centrally? Also the suburbs are a lot more family orientated in terms of after school activities etc.

I would wait until your children are older so that you make a more informed decision.

I also found btw that when I was very close to the office I actually spent more time there and not less because of the ease of it and I wasnt running out to make a certain train etc.

not all schools have a culture of whole class parties, OP - DD gets maybe 2 or 3 invites a term, maximum.

If you have the budget I think that sounds a great idea - but be aware that you will have a lot of London to get through in order to get to the countryside. So you will need to position yourself carefully.

I would advise you to rent for a while to see how this works out. We live in central London and when our DC were 2 and 4 we rented a small cottage in the country and went most weekends. Running two households is a lot of extra work and once our eldest child started school we realised the arrangement was not going to work any longer.
In the end we realised that we would have been better off going to a nice hotel every weekend and being well looked after rather than the rent money we spent.

Wow OP, well from that pic I think you are really in a different league to most Mumsnet posters (in a positive way financially I mean) so there are very few people here who could advise you. I mean, we might all choose this way of life if we had that kind of money, most of us just focus on the difficulties but people I know with lots of money all live like this - town house and country pad.

I lived in NY for a while and many people there live like this and if you buy in certain postcodes in London this is probably the way people live too so I don't think you'll have to worry about your DC missing out on friends - all the friends will be heading to the country house too for the weekend.

OP we live in zone 2 - families live everywhere in London, including in zone1. We like where we live (Queens Park/Kensal Rise) as it has a more family atmosphere, great local park and good schools - that is often the deciding factor for families with young children. Buying and running 2 households could be really costly and as other posters have mentioned, once your child starts school weekends can be booked up with parties and (as they get older) sporting activities so try to imagine this set up in several years time to see if it really would work for you.

We did it for 2 years then it became too much of a bind.
Trucking up and down the M3 with a car load became such a hassle and the Sunday night traffic became a dread. We did do Monday mornings return to London but the 5am starts were draining.

We also felt that we weren't settled in one place.
Out solution was to move out totally and DH stayed up for 4 nights, this worked for a couple of years until he was able to get a job in a city about 70 minutes away.

We are totally committed to rural life now and it was a good choice for us but I know several families that have struggled.
The idea of renting for a year is a good one.

We live in London. We've thought about having a place in the country but once DC get to school age, they often have clubs, parties, sports fixtures and playdates on weekends (as week days are full with homework and afterschool activities) - plus they have "stuff" that they want to be around. So the number of weekends we don't have anything on is pretty limited. Also, once they're in prep or senior school, a lot of the school teams play on Saturdays, so you'd need to stay in London for those too if your kids were that way inclined.

Also by the time they are pre-teen age (10+ but it seems to get younger all the time) they will want to hang out with their friends and not do outdoorsy stuff in the countryside.

Where is your DH from and do his parents still live there? We get a regular countryside “fix” for DH and the DC by visiting his parents who live pretty rurally, plus visiting various friends who have moved out to houses in the countryside. In return we host them in London so they can get their city fix . Even if you don’t have family to stay with, you may find you have friends who move out and want visitors.