How are you for funding? Do you have a realistic budget, or will the cost of the build determine whether or not you move forward?
Steps I would take in order:
Get somebody to complete the initial survey of the property
Get concept drawings done, so you can agree on the size and layout of the extension. At this stage make sure your happy with the layout, window positions etc etc... internal walls etc are not determined by planning and you can change these at a later stage.
Ask the Architect for an estimated cost of the work. Depending on where you are in the country maybe work on £1500.00 - £2500.00 p/sqm. Is this in budget?
Depending of your relationship with your neighbour, maybe show them the plans. Make sure their won’t be any planning or party wall objections.
Design agreed, get the developed drawings completed. This includes existing and proposed plans, elevations, site plans. Location plan. Also conservation or supporting statements depending on where your located.
Submit the plans to the local authority. Give approx 1-2 weeks for the council to register the application, and eight weeks for the application to be determined.
Now complete the building regulation drawings, this will show some detail of how the building is constructed.
Building regulation drawings only show detail regulated by building control. I assume that your not completing this work under a Contract of works. So at this stage do a list. What is going to be included in the scope of works, painting, tiling kitchen fitting etc. Is this labour only or suppy to? Eg are your purchasing the flooring, tiles, paint, kitchen? Make copies of the plans, mark up things like sink location, electrical sockets, lights.
Now you have a comprehensive package of what work you want doing. Approach 3-5 builders, give each of them a timescale to complete a quotation (2-3weeks), make sure they all have the same information. Ask them also to give an estimated start date, and completion date of the works.
During this waiting period;
Now instruct your party wall surveyor.
Submit your building regulations application.