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Original poster

Break up and financially stuck

26 replies

susie61 · 31/12/2018 08:04

Hi All,

This is my first post after admittedly being a mumsnet voyeur for around a year.

I am seeking some advice about a difficult situation and I am unsure whether or not this is the right place to post, but anyway here I go……

My current situation is that I am 61 and going through a separation with my partner, I say that loosely as we have lived in the same place but not been together for the last few years.

He wants to sell the flat we live in and go our separate ways, which I wouldn't mind doing but I would struggle to even afford another place on my own at my age, and I wouldn't be able to buy in my area which I have now lived in for the past 40 years.

Over the course of our relationship, not married have had children, he has never properly paid his way and I feel angry I am in this position that I am forced to sell my home and all that I know.

I want to know if anyone here has experienced similar things and/or has advice on what I should do specifically regarding the following:

  1. The flat we own has a 50/50 mortgage(recently paid off), but as mentioned above he has never fully paid his way, often being out of work for a number of years. Am I entitled for more than 50%, I certainly feel like I am, but is it possible to claim my perceived rightful share?
  2. What options do I have to buy or own ever again????? I am 61 and won't be able to afford in my own area and would have to move outside of London and beyond.

Apologies if this is the wrong forum, I would appreciate very much your support and advice

Susie

OP posts:
Grannyannex · 31/12/2018 08:13

How much is your flat worth and where are you

AgentProvocateur · 31/12/2018 08:16

Whose name is the flat in?

millionaireshortie · 31/12/2018 08:19

Unfortunately I very much doubt you could legally claim more than 50% as it's his word against yours as to the contributions made. Likewise, housewives have always been entitled to 50% despite making no financial contribution to the household at all.

Are there any shared ownership flats in your area?

Possibly not ideal as you're still fairly young but I believe retirement apartments are also a lot cheaper than regular apartments - might be worth looking into?

Singlenotsingle · 31/12/2018 08:22

If you are not married you will have no claim for more than your 50%.

mysteryfairy · 31/12/2018 08:24

Are you joint tenants or tenants in common? If the latter are both shares 50%?

Bluntness100 · 31/12/2018 08:26

I think you'd struggle to argue you were due more of rhe house when it's in both your names.

You could look at shared ownership? So you pay what you can for the house and pay a popcorn rent for the remainder?

AvoidingMarking · 31/12/2018 08:40

Can you buy him out?

Alexalee · 31/12/2018 09:03

No you are not entitled to more than 50%.... If a man made the same argument I am sure there would be outrage at the suggestion

sbplanet · 31/12/2018 09:16

I would suggest you get proper legal advice and not rely on 'guesses' from a forum.

www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/media-centre/articles-sep-dec-2017/financial-rights-of-unmarried-couples-living-together/

Original poster
susie61 · 31/12/2018 09:51

Thank you all for your kind comments, rather than reply to some of you directly I will reply to all as such:

  • I believe we are joint tenants, I will have to revisit the deeds. What different will it make between joint tenants or tenants in common?
  • We live in south London, after selling I would probably end up with £170k
  • I am not a position to buy him out

Thank you once again for your replies, I welcome the honesty as its better knowing where I stand than bury my head in the sand :-)

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 31/12/2018 11:30

I don't know what the T&C are and they may be prohibitive, but you can get retirement/over-60s properties in south London for £170k (or less in some cases) so all is not lost if you that's your starting point. Of course if you're used to Clapham and can't countenance, say, Croydon, then it won't be any comfort, but owning a home in a decent (not rough) area for £170K is not impossible. And if you can boost the figure with savings or a small mortgage (if you're still working) then you could look at studios/one beds in some well-connected spots in south London. It totally sucks having to move from your home, but if you can't buy him out, I think the best thing is to embrace it and be glad at least to secure your independence. Better now than at the other end of your 60s or later. You still have lots of time to adjust and enter a new era shut of him.

pinkdelight · 31/12/2018 11:32

There's also affordable shared ownership properties which you could look into, if they're an option.

Original poster
susie61 · 31/12/2018 11:58

Great feedback again :-)

The thing the worries me is the shared ownership costs, rent + mortgage and usually expensive service charges - from what I have read.

Not really looked into mortgage options tbh I thought that would not be an option with my age????

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 31/12/2018 12:09

Mortgage depends on how long you intend to keep working. I was only thinking a smallish amount over a few years, just to top up to say £225k. As you'd have £170k cash, that'd be a low LTV ratio and if you're still earning in a steady job then it's certainly worth seeing a mortgage broker to investigate what's possible.

willyloman · 31/12/2018 12:13

Can you get a buy to let mortgage or interest only mortgage for his portion and then get a tenant/lodger? Just a thought.

Original poster
susie61 · 31/12/2018 12:16

great advice people never thought of the btl route.

Many thanks all, much appreciated :-)

OP posts:
MintyCedric · 31/12/2018 12:27

There are companies like Homewise that allow older people to buy properties at much lower rates than usual. I'm not sure about the technicalities or the situation in your area but worth looking into.

Also, if you are working at all, try asking around for mortgage advisor recommendations. After my marriage broke down a couple of years ago I looked at online mortgage calculators that said I didn't have a cat in hell's chance of getting a workable mortgage.

Then a colleague recommended her mortgage advisor who managed to secure me an off that took into account tax credits and maintenance as well as my salary. If you have a substantial deposit that will also help.

Good luck Flowers

Original poster
susie61 · 31/12/2018 13:13

Many thanks, yet more great ideas :-)

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 31/12/2018 13:55

Some lenders have just introduced retirement mortgages that are interest only and carry on until you die. Strictish terms and conditions, but worth looking into? You might be eligible.

Original poster
susie61 · 31/12/2018 14:07

thank you very much, I started out thinking my options were limited but this post has cheered me right up :-)

OP posts:
Alexalee · 31/12/2018 14:26

I am 99% sure you can't live in the property if you take out a btl mortgage of it

mysteryfairy · 31/12/2018 16:30

There is a small chance if you are tenants in common that you originally agreed unequal shares (e.g. if one of you had a bigger deposit) but you’d probably remember if this had happened.

You could make him go to court to get an order to sell and then disrupt the sale process and drag it out that way.

If you are joint tenants then if one of you were to pass away the other would own the whole house. It may be worth looking at changing to tenants in common so you can make provision to leave your share to your DC.

mumsastudent · 01/01/2019 20:44

if you cant buy property there are also over 60's retirement rentals - the capital you have would pay for decades might be worth investigating too www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/South-London/retirement.html

mumsastudent · 01/01/2019 20:49

www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/retirement/south-london/

littlecloudling · 01/01/2019 20:52

If not married, and both names on the deeds, then he would get 50% surely. Sorry. I had a friend who put her partner on the deeds when they were emigrating to make him have assets. They weren't married. He hadn't contributed to the deposit of mortgage yet was suddenly entitled to 50% when they split