AIBU to still hate my husband for making our baby and I homeless?

[user1483522778]

I am still really unsure as to the laws around this. As we’re still not divorced.. but here goes!
Five years ago, H moved into PIL’s house as we weren’t getting along. I suspected he’d cheated (I was right) I then went into hospital, all planned, for 10 days to have a spinal fixation as the labour/birth ruined me. I arranged with PIL to look after LO for the whole time I was in hospital, as H worked away.
Prior to this, I went to court with H and our solicitors and he made an undertaking to the courts that he wouldn’t go over the doorstep, when collecting our son. Locks changed! I was in a rented house with my H and FIL was guarantor as H didn’t work when we commenced the lease.
So.. on discharge from hospital, catheter still in situ! My friend popped to my house to collect my coat before coming to get me from the hospital and take me to my home, via PIL for my son.
As she tried to enter the house, my key no longer fit the lock! My H had moved back in and wouldn’t let her get any of my belongings.
It was the worst phone call I had ever reciedved in my life! I was picked up from the hospital and had to plead with H for my sons and my belongings, to which he threw the bin bags full of clothes all over our driveway. I was supposed to be resting and had OT to the house to make sure I didn’t lift too much or pull the wires in my back.. and now I was homeless!
I was advised that day, by the police (who didn’t do anything) that I should take my 1yr old with me. As I had no home/ belongings and I was incapacitated. As H had everything it may be a struggle to get my son back at a later date!
I could not believe my ears! I’d supported him, as a nurse for the best part of 10 years. He only got a job 5 months previous! I was broken and left with nothing. He wouldn’t give me any toys or the cot and essentials for my son.
I stayed with a few friends, sofa surfing! But it was tough needing help myself and having a baby to care for too. I just had to get on with it. I was lucky enough to have a travel cot and LO had to sleep in that for 3mknths, I went back to work, sooner than I should. Saved for a deposit and got my own house and bedroom furniture/toys for my son.
So skip to the present. H now wants a divorce as he’s with someone new, that’s fine. But refuses to give me any of our belongings. He has moved in with new GF so will have come across everything.
I have no photographs, his baby book, scan pictures, his pram, teddies. Not to mention the things I brought to the marriage. He now sees son 2x per week and gives me no money for him, which I don’t need.
Will this all get sorted in the divorce, he just says he can’t find my belongings. I had a bracelet from my mum who has died and he still won’t give me that either.
I feel so wronged, but try not to let it get to me. How could he do this to me the condition I was in and our baby too?

It’s shit. But not uncommon. And sadly I don’t think there’s much you can do about it.

Dh’s ex did the same to him, only she kept the children with her too. He left the house with only a rucksack for a weekend away, found the locks changed, and has never been back in since.

Even legally in court in the divorce she was ordered to give him his personal stuff back. Never got a single thing. Short of breaking in which would have only got him into trouble.

Is the lease joint names? If it’s your name only on the lease surely he’s living there illegally and the landlord can evict him?

That is fucking abhorrent behaviour. I don't think I've ever heard of worse.

But, he's not suddenly going to turn into a decent human being and give you your stuff back and I'd guess he's already chucked it out I'm afraid. So I would work on coming to terms with the fact it is only stuff - you have your son and a good life ahead of you - without this disgusting excuse for a man in it - that is the main thing.

Every time you think you’ve heard about the biggest cunt on the planet, some one pops up on here and raises the bar.

My charming ex refused to give me my belongings too, in fact, he says he burnt them. Cos he’s a cunt. There was some important papers, and sentimental stuff, baby photos of DD etc, but to be honest, it was worth losing them to be rid of the twat.

Take heart from the fact that you’re doing very well without him thank you, and you’ve done it without stealing from a baby and acting like a cunt.

Wow. What an amazing woman you are and your son is lucky to have you.

Please claim CM. Whether you need it or not atm he's getting everything including contact and you're getting nothing. If you want out it into an account for your boy when he's older.

As for the stuff I'd petition for it during divorce. How well you do is dependent on so many factors but the judge needs all the facts to make a decision.

He had the lease changed into his name while I was in hospital.. he got the locks changed the very day I was in hospital. Is a coward too as he wouldn’t have done it if I’d have been there. I try hard to get on but the hatred is still there!
Thanks for you kind words x

Omgineedanamechange Thank you, he’s the worse on the worst people. I really just need to try my best and get what I can, for my son x

Have you spoken to a solicitor? I am at a loss to see how you can just change a lease into a different name without the original leaseholders permission or knowledge?

On the other hand I kept my ex’s furniture for 6 months repeatedly telling him to pick it up then I gave it to charity.

I would move away as your son does not need this price as a role model in his life.

But before you do that, don't agree to divorce until you have the items back or their monetary worth. He wants the divorce and so you now have a little leverage. You can make it easy for him thus cheaper or harder and therefore more expensive.

You need to go to cms too and get all the arrears sorted.

No YANBU I would hate him too. I'm pleased you have moved on from him now and hope you can get your items back!

Prick not price.