The house that got away

[JCBluebell]

Hi, I'm looking for a bit of advice on getting over the house that got away.

As the owner of a teenage daughter the bungalow would have been tricky in the teenage years. Quite frankly unless their stuff can be confined to the first floor it invades everywhere however hard you try.
The idyllic village is likely to be full of second homes so not so nice for long term home.
We lost what seemed to be the perfect home this time last year I later found what looked like the perfect village was not nearly so lovely. We are now waiting to move into what appears to be a less lovely village, but is actually much, much nicer.

Thank you so much for all your advice and kindness. I wasn't really expecting any replies. You're all very thoughtful. Loads of helpful advice there. I know I need to stop ruminating and make our new place home.

Hi guys, there is so much more I could say about how I feel or what I'm worrying about, but I just wanted to say this: I've read and re-read your messages and it really means a lot to me that you've sent me your thoughts and advice in such a considerate way. I don't know you, I don't know who you are, I don't know your stories other than what you've told me, but I so appreciate the fact that you took the time to say things that actually really have helped me. X

Hi Bluebell, I've only just seen your thread, here's what I did, when I found myself in your position. I bought a pretty card, saying that I was looking for a bungalow in the area, and if they ever decided to put the house on the market, would they contact me first, then dropped it through the letterbox. This was my 'putting my dream to rest', however the following year they got in touch, and here I am !
Don't give up on your dream, chase it, you just never know.😄

Hi Sugarpie, what a great story! Sorry it took me so long to see your message. I'm so glad you got your house. I've been thinking along those same lines and have actually knocked on the door to ask the girl the same thing, but of course they weren't there. I might try leaving a card. I find it hard to let things go, but as you say, sometimes that's not a bad thing. Thank you for the happy story and advice.

Really glad this thread has helped you OP and hope you have started to settle into you new home but in all honesty I would try and not keep visiting or leaving notes, what the eye can’t see and all that, cold turkey is best otherwise it’s a bit like stalking your ex you never move on and it just makes you more miserable. Out of sight out of mind will really help you.

We offered on a house and the offer was accepted but we couldn't exchange within their target timeframe and they put it back on the market. We had our offer and were ready to go but someone offered an hour before us and we lost the house.

We bought another house in the same street, smaller but with much better views and became friendly with the people in our 'house that got away'.

They split up within a year and he left.
The woman was pregnant but he wasn't interested.
She brought the baby home and it she found baby dead at two weeks old.

On a much lesser note,

The dormer window failed and had to be replaced.
The boiler and oil tank both failed within a year.

We loved our new house as soon as we moved in, and 12 years later still do. A lucky escape from a very unlucky house.

You're probably right, Betty Boo. I am acting like a bit of a stalker. We were in that village today and the new family are over for half term hols now. I actually spoke to the bloke. Sounds like his wife is as much in love with the bungalow as me. Only much richer! Anyway, he was very pleasant. I know it's time to let it go. Chocolate deficit, that is such a sad story. My goodness. Just awful for the woman. But it does make me more determined to keep in mind what is really important to me. I'm sitting now with the loveliest little girl sleeping in the car after a lovely morning playing together. This is a bit soppy, but I have a little card somewhere I got years ago on which you were supposed to write 3 dreams for yourself. I only wrote one dream on it- the only thing that i really wanted. I wished for my little one. I carried that card around for years, and eventually my dream came true. And she couldn't be sweeter. So I really shouldn't be worrying about a house. I just have to brighten up again for her.

How lovely that your dream came true! Not many people can say that, and it’s not soppy at all, I hope you can make your peace with the bungalow soon and start to create lovely memories in your new home with your little one!

Thank you!!!

I feel a little cheeky thinking anyone might still be interested in this thread but just really want to share developments with you kind folk who replied a while back. So my wee girl and I finally got moved into our new house over Easter. The house i wasn't sure about at all. I haven't been near the bungalow I loved in a while. It took a long time to properly move in to this house for several reasons, and a huge amount of worrying on my part that it was the wrong move. But we're in and we just love it! We have eaten dinner in our back garden so many times already and it's only turned May. We have watched butterflies dancing and kicked footballs and run in wellies all round that garden. On the first night here my very wise 2 year old said "this is home". What more could a mummy want? My only regret about this house is that i wasted so much time and energy not realising that we would love it.

That's brilliant! So pleased for you and DD.

Thank you! 😊

Aw. That’s so lovely, OP. You’re finally home, you just needed to see it through the eyes of your very wise little daughter. I love the sound of your garden with the butterflies and being able to play football in wellies. Wishing you both many many happy years there.

Glad you're enjoying your new house.
Another plus point of having a house is the stairs will keep you fitter: my best friend moved into a bungalow and swears she added a stone and more through not continually bobbing up and down the stairs.

We are also getting over the house that got away. Too upset to even begin the long story but good to see we aren't alone. Also OP are you from NI by any chance? Just asking because you write the way I talk.

@JCBluebell so pleased to hear this, wishing you many happy years in your home

OP that's brilliant! And I'm so glad you updated, it's just so nice to have a happy ending

Thank you for the well wishes, everyone. And yes, Mrs Ryan Gosling, I am indeed from NI. I'm so Sorry you've been going through the house heartbreak too. It's so difficult. Please feel free to share your story if and when you feel up to it. Talking to folk on here was really helpful to me. Hope you're ok.

OP that's a proper happy ending! I always think home is where the love is, and you've got that in spades!