Which house?

[FlappingHands]

Both houses within budget.

House 1, 10 min walk to station 1hr 15 commute. Close to parents and other family. Not an area I thought I'd live in again but if it's best for my family then that will make me happy. Buying off family member, house is immaculate and only 10 years old.

House 2, 15 min to station 50 min commute or a couple of fast trains at 30 min. 2 hours from my parents, close to my dsis.

Both have good schools. Dh and I are going round and round! I don't know house 2 area but dsis loves it there but it's an unknown for us.

There's no stamp duty on the house as ftb.

Should add as a consideration we have only just returned to my home country so aware of giving my dc a chance to really know their GP. But should this be at the cost of the commuter (currently it's me but will be dh after Feb)

Sorry for the waffle, some opinions please!

Come on, we need the links to say for sure, but I would say 2

Def house 2. The shorter commute will affect you everyday. My DH does 1.5 hr commute each way and he is always exhausted. Train problems and delays at work mean I rarely see him weekday evenings at all. And have you factored in waiting times? It may be a 10 min walk, but then you have to allow an amount of contingency time (say 5-10 mins before the train is due to leave,) plus connection times, plus the time to get to wherever you are going from the station the other end. Can make a 1.5 hr journey more like 2 hrs easily. We don't have young children, but if we did, I would say that length of commute is unsustainable.

With such a long commute, plus delays, you'll be too knackered to see family very frequently.

Thanks for feedback, I had been leaning towards house 1. I'm currently commuting 2 hours one way which is a struggle.

Edison no links sorry, house 1 won't go online if we buy it from family.

Being closer to family and having that support network would win for me every time, so a vote for House 1! It works both ways, help for you and your DC now, but also you being closer to your parents as they get older and might need a bit of support from you.

1hr 15min train commute isn't too bad. Do you work on the train or is it 'you' time? I personally enjoy my commute as it's time to listen to an audio book or read the paper (never get time to do this at home!). Is there an option for flexible working? A day a week at home for example?

Which house 'feels' better? Which area do you see your kids making friends in and growing up in? Where do you see yourself living in 5 or 10 years?

Good luck!

How close to sis? Close enough to help each other out? Does she have kids?

Close enough for dsis to help and she definitely would but being near her (and so shorter commute) is just too far for my dp to visit regularly and so it would be us visiting them.

The train is my time, there's no regularly flexibility at my current role but I'm hoping when dh starts working he'll find a flexible role.

I'm trying to think what is best for dc and dh (as ultimately it will be him doing the commute). I think It's house 1, but I'm really worried about getting it wrong.

Is there nothing 15 minutes down the line so the commute is 1 hour from house 1?

I think house 2 for the much better commute. If everything else is comparable.

Some other things to consider. Whoever commutes is it just one train or then tube / bus / other. A straight train commute is much less stressful than one with changes. Whoever commutes will the other person be able to cover any drop offs / pick ups. Again if they can the commute itself may be fine. And only you can answer the question of balancing being near DP or DSis. Don't let one option being a family member's house influence your decision. Good luck.

Also worth bearing in mind is GPs may consider downsizing/relocating to be nearer 2 of you at some point.

Does your Dsis have children - ie are there cousins of a similar age? Could your Dsis move again?

My DP don't like where my dsis lives but if we both were in that area they might consider.

Other parent will be a sahp, which is why affordability is really coming into it.

Dsis does have dc but they are much older than mine. There would be dc closer in age around house 1.

I feel almost paralysed by this decision. Have already settled dc1 in to the local school near my DP who we are currently staying with so have to make the next move right.

Right, just going to chuck this in. You talk about what is right for dc and dp. What about you?
I accidentally moved back to my childhood home town when dc were small. Dc started school and it became too complicated to move on. I spent 20 years really living somewhere I didn't mean to. We managed to move last year because eldest ones had left home and youngest was due to change school anyway.

Being near my DP feels important to me, but yes, I didn't imagine I'd be living very close to where I grew up.

I couldn't wait to get out and travel the world so I'm surprised it feels a bit different now, the area that is.

I'm glad you got to move! Do you mind me asking how far away did you go in the end, do you miss being close to family?

So you are actually in the area right now? But it’s not feeling brilliant - listen to that. As a PP said is there not somewhere nicer / more inspiring further in so that that the daily commute isn’t so brutal and your DP are only say 20-30 min drive?

Can you/DH get a seat on the commuting train? I would take 1.15hr on a seat over 50 minutes standing anyday. Where I live (thankfully not commuting) we are pretty much the last station commuters can guarantee a seat - and it's 1hr10 to London from here.

How do you feel about being back in your home town now? Is it a good or bad feeling?

I moved away for a while and when I came back I was surprised at how glad I was to be 'coming home'. And I was happy that my children were being brought up where I grew up, but obviously not everyone feels like that.

I moved 120 miles. In fact my mum no longer lived there but we left behind our 19 year old.
Don't get me wrong, it was a nice place to live but just not how I saw my life panning out.by the time we moved I was just heartily sick of it.