Driveway used by neighbours as a drop of zone for friends/work

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi,

The title says it all really. My neighbours have two cars, both cars block off the area outside of their house. I have a double drive and it gets used as a drop area for children (they run a business from home). I have a child myself so before anyone suggests I hate kids it’s not that I just find it quite annoying and a bit disrespectful if I’m going to be honest. It’s happened roughly 3 times already today.

I’ve lived here for two years now and not made a big deal of it. I’ve said something in passing that the parents don’t use my drive and my neighbour was understanding but it continues. Sometimes the parents drop off the kids and leave, but the vast majority of the time they stop and chat 😝

Before anyone thinks I’m being petty, there is a pretty big parking space the parents can use directly outside my house and opposite my house which they can use. They just don’t want to walk an extra 10 steps so use my drive.

Not sure if I’m being petty, but I do find it quite annoying.

Any ideas what to do?

I know, OP. I’m just saying don’t generalise nadty about “bloody mothers” when it’s “bloody parents/bloody people”. It’s not something that affects you when you give birth!

Rainbow this is my part of the problem. I live near a school as well. So have people using my road to park down every day, sometimes I struggle to get out of my drive. So I have a double whammy with my neighbour teaching as well.

The thing is, the parents picking up their children from the school know not to park across peoples drives. It’s my neighbours clients who don’t understand what to do.

And yes as someone earlier pointed out it sounded like she felt there was room to negotiate with her message. This instantly got my back up. What is there to negotiate with?

Also my neighbour home schools her children so their friends pop round during the day for play dates. So hopefully you can get the bigger picture now...

I think you missed an opportunity when she offered a friendly chat over wine.

I work in a similar job, from home, and have kids dropped off and collected up to 10-15 times in a working day, so even relatively minor inconsiderate parking would irritate the hell out of my neighbours when it is so frequent.

I've had to deal with a few 'drop-off' issues like this, mainly parking and the behaviour of children when they are on my doorstep (or more to the point, when they should be on my doorstep but are in fact on my neighbours gardens picking their daffodils or throwing gravel whilst their parents ignore them). I am quite upfront with parents - when we first meet I talk about the need to have minimal impact on my neighbours and I specifically tell them where to park on drop off and explain that any impact on my neighbours could affect my ability to operate if they complain to the planning department. Most parents are considerate, and a couple I've had to have words with and remind them. I'm vigilant, I watch where they park and what their kids do when arriving and leaving, and I listen to my neighbours. I also write into my contracts (under a more general clause about unreasonable, abusive or inconsiderate behaviour) that I can terminate immediately if they impact my neighbourhood. I've never had to do so, luckily, but I would.

I think your neighbour is being a little silly because planning do tend to take issues like this pretty seriously. A local colleague of mine had her business restricted because of parking issues to the extent that it was no longer viable, and she had to close. If any of her neighbours complain, she risks her business so should be far more proactive in protecting her livelihood.

I would consider going round to talk to her and asking her to talk to all of her parents, and each new family as she signs them up. I'd explain that the parking situation is untenable for you now and you can not tolerate it any longer. See how she deals with that over a few weeks or so. Then a second conversation (or lettter) reiterating and stating that you will speak to planning should the issue not resolve itself. Then a few weeks again. Then talk to planning.

You aren't being unreasonable, and you aren't asking too much in expecting someone running a business from a domestic premises to take every possible action not to affect their neighbours.

Pearl, thanks so much for such a detailed response. You are a great example of how it should be done. My neighbour has none of this in place and just expects everyone to fall in place around her which isn’t acceptable. Especially as I’m the only neighbour which appears to be affected.

Is the council able to paint a long H shaped white line across your driveway on the road for no parking

Maybe flunky. I really hope it doesn’t come to that though 😔 really she should just have a quiet word with the parents and that should be it. Hopefully 🙏

I still reckon she is far more likely to adopt the behaviours you want if you take her up on that suggestion of a conversation.

Putting up a laminated sign and refusing to discuss it is much less likely to get what you want.

MinesaTreble - Cherry will get what she wants because right is on her side, and at the end of the day she can go to the council if she has to.

So another update:

Today she emailed me back:

I will email all my students parents to ask them not to drop off outside your house. On a Monday and Tuesday evening when I am working XX will also park his car round the corner so that where possible parents can drop off directly outside my house. I ask that in return you message me as soon as a parent drops off outside your house so I can address the problem immediately. Perhaps we can resolve any future issues before they escalate to the point that my friends and yourself get upset.

I hope you can get enough rest before work starts again on Monday. Tiredness is soooo hard. Much respect to you.

I’m happy with that. However I don’t like the subtle dig about now upsetting her friends. Rubbish, all she cares about is her business not me. And seems to conveniently forgot about the conversation I had with her 6 months + where I actually went over to her house and asked nicely for her parents not to use my drive as a drop off zone. Had she done something about it then it would never of escalated. Plus all I said to her ‘friend’ who is actually a client, is not to park outside my property as parents do it all the time. She is making out I had a huge argument with her.

Not sure it’s worth replying back to this. I’ll just see how it goes.

Just respond with 'great thanks, lets hope that resolves the issue. Have a good weekend!'

That seems like a great reply from her why would you not respond thanking her for sorting it? This is clearly what she wanted to talk about over wine last night.

Not sure it’s worth replying back to this. I’ll just see how it goes

You’re being difficult. Of course reply.

“Great, thanks for the message. Appreciate your efforts. Have a nice weekend”

Keep her on side and reply nicely. Seems like a win, win. There will be future issues. But if you’re on good terms you can sort between you.

I have several friends who see no issue with parking over peoples drives for a few mins or even leaving their car parked slightly over someone elses drive, leaving just enough room for them to squeeze out.
To my knowledge in every other way they’re lovely people. It’s just not a big deal to them.

I’m sure in other ways I greatly offend people. But I don’t park in front of drives.

Swings and roundabouts.

That’s why I consult Mumsnet! Thanks for the advice, sometimes it’s harder to read a situation objectively when you’re in the middle of it. I guess I know this lady and can tell she can be very difficult at times which is why I read the message slightly differently. But I’ll reply back with something nice thanks again 👍

Her message would have irritated me, too, especially the part about "I ask that in return you..." as if she's doing you some sort of favour. However, all that matters really is that you're getting the situation resolved so u agree with those who say to message back something nice. It wouldn't matter to me whether she gave a shit about manor was a decent person or not, only that the parking issues would stop without a major falling out that if have to declare if I ever sold my house. So despite the irritating tone of her message I'd be happy with it.

Send the suggested text saying thanks and have a good weekend. Then add her business name to your sign.

24h Access Required.
Strictly NO PARKING
for (business name).

You will have been polite to her but also assertive. She is a CF so probably quite thick-skinned. I'm guessing she is exaggerating about you "upsetting her friends" not getting her way.

Or you could try a "no drop off" sign like this: https://www.myparkingsign.com/no-drop-off-sign/sku-k2-0615

What’s new that’s how I read it too. She once said to her neighbour (in front of me) not to go via her house when her children go to school. Simply because her children are home schooled, no idea why. Maybe so they wouldn’t feel left out. God knows. But already then I thought 🤔 this woman is going to be tricky....

Calling one of the parents her "friend" rather than a client sounds like she doesn't want that incident connected to her business.

You need to play it like she is, be ultra nice while you are being persistent as fuck.

Unlike other posters, I think the offer of wine and a chat was to manipulate and negotiate and I also think the message about things escalating was a dig but I would still reply being ultra nice.

She sounds like one of those people who are used to getting their own way, don't give her it - whilst keeping a smile on your face.

Aloe, that’s exactly how I read the text she sent me last night too 👍 she wanted to come round and negotiate. Hence why I rejected the offer, plus I was tired as well. As far as I was concerned there was no discussion to be had and no amount of wine would change my view on the situation. If anything I think she would of pissed me off so much that my concern is it would have decended into an argument.

She is just annoyed she hasn’t got her way. And yes I will be as nice as pie 😉 but I’m going to make sure this doesn’t continue.

I'd be tempted to reply.

That's sounds great, it had been upsetting me since we last spoke about this . I really appreciate you contacting your clients as it has continued tiooccur multiple times daily.

My reply:

Appreciated, have a good weekend.

I just couldn’t bring myself to say much more.

Has your access ever actually been blocked? Have you been unable to get out your house on I to it due to this? Or is it the cost cent that irritates you. They would be talking, one would assume, regardless of it the parked outside your house, or over the driveway. Put up a passive aggressive note saying don't park here, if it really bothers you.

They fully park across my drive, which means I simply cannot get my car out and completely blocked in.