Am I being irrational? Kitchen/garden remodel

[Dimblebimble]

Apologies in advance for the long post 🙈

We've been living in our first house for 3 years. We bought in a cheap area, but we are trying for a family and know that we'll want to have moved to a nicer area by the time our first child starts nursery as there are no good schools in this area. We'll more than likely stay 3-4 years, maybe more (essentially, until we have to move when the child reaches nursery age, still ttc so no idea when this will be) as we can't afford a similar house in a nice area at the moment.

We had the house valued as we considered doing a big kitchen extension, but the estate agent felt it won't add much value to the house and advised against it. However I now feel frustrated that I'm going to have to wait years to have a nice kitchen and garden. The previous owners were avid but very poor diy-ers and we've had to redo most of the house over the past 3 years. We left the kitchen and garden because we were considering extending, and now that I know we're stuck with them they're depressing me. The kItchen is liveable but dated (think artex ceiling, cheap lino and ceiling high tiles) and the garden is just a mess (owners laid random bricks as patio which are crumbing and full of weeds).

I'm almost 29 and feel like I should have a nice home by this point in my life, or at least by my early to mid 30s. The kitchen and garden depress me, especially when I think that I might have to live with them for years. We had resolved to spend as little on the house as possible, and we're saving as much of our income as possible towards eventually moving. I felt okay with this up until now as I was pregnant, but I recently had a miscarriage. We're going to start ttc again but it took a while the first time and children and thus moving now seems a long way away, and it's depressing.

Would I be ridiculous to invest some of our savings in a new kitchen and garden in a house we're not planning to stay in long term? It would probably help with the sale and add a little value, but probably less than we'll spend. Ultimately I guess we'd lose a few grand. Is that crazy for something we'll only benefit from for a few years?

I think it depends.
If you spend say 30k on your kitchen extension (just using example figures), and your house value goes up by 30k (or more) then go for it
If house value would go up by say 20k, is the next 3ish years with a lovely new kitchen worth it for you? Similar question of it only goes up by 10k, etc etc
Obviously the housing market could well go turbulent in the coming years, who knows.
As an aside, with additional childcare costs are you sure you'll be able to upsize in 3 years? Are your incomes likely to go up even with mat leave?

Cars, Jewellery, Clothes, Gadgets

All of these things People happily buy brand new knowing full well (unless they’re a Mclaren or Rolex) they’ll be worth a fraction of their new cost in a couple of years.

I spent 20k on a kitchen which added no more value than a 10k one.

I enjoyed it for 5 years so that’s 2k for each year wasted....

Would I do it again?

Yes... but I wouldn’t buy a brand new car.... always one which is 6 months old for a third less than new price :)

I agree with Squirreltamer. If you're going to be there a few years at least, and it will make you happy, then go for it! Just don't go too OTT if it's not your forever home.

When I think of family and friends, they all spend their money in different ways. I know people who spend lots of money on holidays, clothes, and eating out. They obviously won't get any kind of financial return from that, but they're happy. Others spend more time at home,
and spend more on furniture, and extensions/house renovations.

But if you have the money to spend on a new kitchen, wouldn't it make more sense to move now (potentially to a house that needs work doing to it) and then start doing that one up, rather than spending money on this one, which you know you aim to leave.

Why can't you sort out the garden yourselves? Several weekends of hard work could transform it for very little cost.

As for the extension, consider carefully, what are houses with your final size/layout actually sell for at the moment? If you are unsure if you will make a profit, just don't..

Sort the garden, improve the kitchen as best you can without spending much, if you are ttc then you really do not need to be wasting money on wants...you need to be saving for maternity leave and the costs of moving and a child.

Thanks for the replies. I'm just thinking of a simple kitchen remodel, not the full kitchen extension we initially considered. It's a galley kitchen so wouldn't be too expensive in terms of units but I'd like to get rid of the ceiling artex and put spotlights in, remove the floor to ceiling tiles (walls will therefore need to be plastered as it's a very old house, 1920s) and move the positioning of the sink (it's in a bizarre place!) so I imagine this would drive costs up.

In response to the question of why we don't just move, we can't afford a house of a similar size in a nice area. We put down 20k deposit and I think the house has appreciated 30-40k with all of the work we've done to it (based on the estate agents estimate). With our savings we have max 75k to put down but the houses (we need 3 bedrooms minimum as I need a home office) we'd want go for minimum 350k (and this is the lower end in nice areas, we live in a big city). Our current house was 190. There's no way we could get a mortgage big enough at the moment. But 5-10k could maybe go a long way to making our time in this house more enjoyable.

@Dragongirl10 we could try and do it ourselves but I don't know how to pull up or lay patio (it's on two levels, or how to build a wall. We also need some plants (e.g. pampas grass) removed and I think we'll need a specialist for this.

I think it's normal and very understandable to want to "get on with a family-feel" and to create a "nest" at the same time as ttc and having the frustration of a mc and finding ttc slow.

But I would try to pour your frustration and energy into cheaper outlets. And follow your primary plan of saving for family life. Maybe spend a little on fresh flowers in the kitchen, a deep clean of your current kitchen units, some paint, cheap prints, and plant out a few terracotta pots on the patio. Don't get into building works - it's time to build a family, not your family house.

(PS: another reason not to put money into a new kitchen is that you might need that money for IVF or fertility assistance. You never know.)

@FredaNerkk yes I think I'm nesting, and that's why it's suddenly getting to me so much. I think both the kitchen and garden let down the property, and it will probably be easier to sell if we do sort them out, but I doubt we'd recoup costs unless we can really keep them down.

The kitchen is liveable. Maybe we can just sort the garden with minimal work 🤔

You can make the garden beautiful without the expense of a patio. Have a look on interest for ideas.

I am doing an area of my garden on the cheap, by removing the weeds etc and digging borders. I am doing a gravel patio on top of weed suppressing fabric. I am laying an area of lawn myself using turf.

I would re-do the kitchen. You could easily do a fairly low cost update (price up via DIY Kitchens) and if it's a relatively small kitchen, plastering etc won't be too expensive. If it's making you miserable, do it.

If the estate agent has advised against it, and it won't add much value to the house, personally I wouldn't go for it.

If you were going to stay in the house for longer than a few years or so, then yes, but definately not for a few years.

The reason for me, is that when we were looking to buy a house (going from rented to buying) I would loved to have had more money to play with - going for something that was a little higher in our budget or even to make the process much easier on our pocket, or to give us a budget for renovations.

We recently fell in love with and bought a house (a bit of a doer upper), that was above our budget. As a result, we were zeroed out after completion, and modifications are happening at a snails pace - and we will have to save for months to attempt things one at a time, which is fine! But would have like to do certain things quickly.

l agree with hooliodancer....there are cheap and easy ways to massively improve a garden, l have landscaped every garden of every run down property l have lived in on my own..

Clear weeds, kill of the roots of stubborn ones with weedkiller, ( ie pampas grass)

clear bricks /rubbish /debris.

Put weed and feed on areas of lawn to improve it.

Use an edging tool to sharpen edges of flower beds/planted areas.

Trim shrubs if there are any, and thats really enough before the winter...
plan to plant a few easy care shrubs in the spring.

I have laid an easy gravel patio, lay membrane over a marked out area, lay interlocking plastic grid and fill with gravel. Put on a table and chairs and you are done.

All the items you can get from your local garden centre or ebay.

I really wouldn't advise spending thousands on the garden when you are not staying , but a tidy garden you have done yourselves will help to sell your house later on.

Might I suggest you go for a two bedroom in a better area and have a garden room for an office. You are spending a lot of money for an office! Be more creative about where that could be in a new home and get into a better sooner rather than later.

better area....

I “removed” a pampas grass by cutting it down to ground level and then putting weed killer on it. It just rotted after that!

Have you talked to an agent about the smaller refurb kitchen works you are considering? I suspect the kind of work you describe, removing artex and changing an odd sink position, would definitely be appreciated by buyers. Maybe it wouldn't add value (though if you keep to a strict budget, it could) but it might make sale quicker which is also very valuable.

Having said that... a kitchen refurb is stressful especially on a tight budget (as eg no money for a temp kitchen) Do you really want to do that at the same time as TTC?

You are spending a lot of money for an office! Be more creative about where that could be in a new home

I also agree with this. You don't need a separate room just for a home office, unless you have clients to your home. For example if you find a 2 bed with a kitchen diner and separate sitting room then the sitting room could double as an office. Or if a bedroom is large enough then that can double as an office.

DH killed/destroyed 2 pampas grasses in our old house

It was hard work but he did it

Using a spade he hacked at it downwards kind of cutting it and when it spouted anything he hacked at it again

So you don't need to pay someone just buy a very sharp spade

Maybe use weedkiller too (he didn't cos we had DC and pets)

Our friends have an amazing office in their garden, with heating and wiring and carpet it is double glazed and lovely

The kitchen wouldn't need much doing. Take the tiles off yourself and then get walls and ceiling skimmed. (£200-£350?), new lighting (spotlights on a pole thing so can be adjusted/angled - better than spots recessed into the ceiling, maybe a new worktop if move your sink but just get good quality laminate (£80 a length?). Then repaint any existing walls. I don't think it would cost that much but would easily make the house more sellable.

Its funny, I never thought about just working in another room of house... I'm an academic and spend a lot of time in my office writing, so I guess it just felt natural to have one. I really need to be alone to concentrate and my husband is home a lot in the day watching tv etc. in between jobs. I also need to Skype my coauthors most days. Atm we're living in a 3 bed house and we have no kids so not a problem. We'd still like to move to at least a 3 bed next as we'd like 2-3 children (in an ideal world, I know it may not happen) and would have them close-ish together as I'll be in my 30s. We don't want to keep moving so we'd need 2 kids bedrooms (although one could be an office for now). An office in the garden could be an option.

As for why we don't just move now, I think because if we move to a good catchment area on the premise of having children and this doesn't materialise or takes a very long time I think the house would be a reminder of what we don't have. At the moment we're in a position to start overpaying on our mortgage so the plan is to stay here and overpay as much as possible and build equity until we have to move for nurseries.

Just go to.YouTube and search for how to pull up or lay patio , or how to build a wall.

You might need to pay a one day builder or gardener fee.

Do what you can to make a n ice place for you

I'm thinking maybe we should just do the garden for now, since it definitely needs to be done. We can put up a fence and returf ourselves and maybe even get rid of the pampas grass, but we do need the patio done (it's literally crumbling bricks that fall apart when you stand on them, and a dodgy wall that bricks are falling out of). But maybe we could get that done cheaply.

In terms of the kitchen, I might wait until January and see how I feel. I think maybe I'm being picky over things because the pregnancy/miscarriage has prompted a nesting instinct.

It's a tricky one. Everything in our house is problematic in some way either due to its age or due to the previous owners weird diy choices. Essentially they lowered the kitchen ceiling (the rest of there house has beautiful high ceilings), I think because the they wanted to add a tiny kitchen extension on the end (literally an arms length each way ). As a result the electric metre is up inside a hatch in the ceiling, above the sink (the metre readers refuse to read it as it's unsafe, you have to climb on the sideboard). So I wonder whether we would need to raise the ceiling again to make this accessible (maybe in the top of a ceiling high cupboard?), but I don't know how easy this would be. I would move the sink to under the window, but there are no units under there as that's where the washer and dryer are. So I guess we'd need new units. Everything in this house is so complicated

In terms of whether I'd want to do a stressful model whilst ttc, in my experience the more distractions the better 🙈

We moved a year ago and the kitchen was like yours a galley and very dated. However, the units were good quality and we decided to paint them using Little Greene eggshell, much harder wearing than Farrow and Ball.. We splashed out on some good quality new handles. Also changed the lighting and had the floor and walls retiled. Quite honestly it looks like a fabulous new kitchen and probably cost no more than £2000.