Fleeing abuse. Where in Essex is best?

[Dumplingmumplus4]

Hi all. I'm in the process of fleeing an abusing relationship. I currently study as Essex uni, southend and wpuld like to be closer but not in Southend itself. We are moving from Stratford. I have 3 girls aged 13, 5 and 3. It's a very hard decision uprooting the girls but it's for the best in the long run. Where would you consider a good are not too far from Southend but with good schools ( especially secondary) transport links, shopping, parks and other facilities. I'm also looking for somewhere culturally diverse as we are of African/ caribbean heritage.
Many thanks

Bumping for you

Bumping for you too. Good luck. Have you posted in the right topic?

How about Rayleigh? Would you be buying or renting? I know South Essex quite well but not too up on the schools I’m afraid. Just be aware the cheapest areas are cheaper for a reason...

Thanks for the replies!
I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post, 1st time using thus forum. Where else would be suitable?

I would be renting (poor student) possibly contacting a refuge or approaching a council as fleeing dv

I can't help on the areas you want to move to I'm afraid as I'm up North, but wanted to wish you luck in finding somewhere safe and happy to live with your children :)

I'd suggest contacting the council, citizen's advice bureau and women's aid as they may be able to give you specialist advice on how to access housing.

As you are fleeing abuse you might also want to consider editing your post to remove some of the details about your family and situation. For anyone who knows you, there is quite a lot of identifying information in your post.

Wishing you lots of luck, Basildon could be good for you or Chelmsford. I hope you are getting some help with getting out?

Leigh is nice or on the westcliff / Leigh boarders.
Rayleigh is nice and so is Eastwood. I know you can’t get on the housing list in Southend unless you have links to the area (family etc) it have lived in the area for 2/3 years I think.

Have a look at areas that run on the C2C line, that goes into Southend. I'm at the other end near Upminster which takes about 30 mins. There are great schools here especially secondary but rents are very high.
Sorry for your situation hope you manage to get yourself sorted .

I'd also say Rayleigh. Not too expensive, safe, good transport links (you could train or bus into Southend) and two outstanding secondary schools.

Chelmsford is lovely but transport to Southend is a nightmare / impossible without a car.

Good luck op. I wish you and your dc a safe and happy future. 

PM me if you need any other info on SE Essex

I don't know Essex but wanted to say I uprooted my kids 4 years ago for similar reasons and it was the best thing I ever did. 4 years ago, they were anxious, nervous little wrecks and today they are so confident. Good luck.

As you need to get to southend i would say rayleigh/leigh. Personally i love chelmsford but without a car you would struggle to get to southend

Thank you all so so much for your honest input. I will look at all of these x

Benfleet/Thundersley/Rayleigh all used to be good when I lived there. You may find the other side of Southend cheaper though, areas like Eastwood and Rochford. No idea on schools sorry.

@Dumplingmumplus4 you might find some help here or here. Good luck

Yeah I'd definitely stick to towns on the c2c line which is really reliable and a good commuter service into London.

I'm near shellsbells76 I thibk but Upminster is very expensive to rent. The prices have rocketed recently because the schools are good and it's a nice place to live I guess. Westcliff and Leigh are nice.

Leigh is lovely. And VERY expensive.

Westcliff-on-Sea is nice..,in places. A bit seedy in others do beware.

Thanks again everyone. I did look at upminster initially as it's far enough away to feel safe but I could still get my children to their current schools until transfers could be arranged....But the price is a factor. How about Hornchurch and Elm park ?

Hornchurch is quite nice, Elm Park is a bit rougher but honestly I'd feel safer waiting for a bus by Elm Park station at night than at Stratford, so it's all relative.
I'm in Romford (I'm originally from Walthamstow), it's becoming more diverse here now and I've met a few Black and Asian families who have moved here from further in London. Good links to Southend and Stratford too.

I'm in Hornchurch, you can message me if you want.
We are on the District line so trickier by train to Southend, you would need to get the C2C from Upminster still unless you drive then it's half hour straight down the A127.
Hornchurch has a good high street, good schools etc

Good luck in your move. Rayleigh and Benfleet have great secondary schools although are not diverse! High % white British. Appleton in Benfleet would probably be the most diverse and cheaper rent nearby. Close to Southend are grammar schools and poorly performing state schools (Southend, Westcliff, Shoebury) so unless you can get the kids into grammars I wouldn't recommend.

Brilliant, thank you all x

You are doing the right thing I have worked with children brought up in violent homes it does affect them a lot.
I would consider moving to give everyone a fresh start. Would your partner try to remove the children from the school please consider this?
I second Citizens Advice my daughter’s friend has started working there and said this is one of the areas she helps in. She loves improving people’s lives by helping them with the necessary advice.
Sometimes churches can help too.

Hi Bowerbird5 THIS question has been playing on my mind alot. I have seen the impact that an abusive home has had on our 17 yr old who ran away and has been in all sorts of trouble with police etc. He has since been in contact pleading with me to leave him and regain my confidence as all he sees is a broken woman, depressed and under control. He has faith in me that i can do a good job (in fact better) alone. I agree with him. The only thing really holding me back is school holiday childcare and the girls love of their dad. The last incident after a wedding resulted in me telling him to leave my car. As I was on the phone to police he told my 13yr old daughter if she didn't go with him he would never see him again. I was powerless as there are no court orders in place. On questioning my daughter as to why she left with him she said she didn't want him to shout at her.... I want to reduce the disruption to them as much as possible by allowing them to attend their current school until transfers are arranged. I don't imagine he would want them out of school either but on the other hand if he felt the threat of not being allowed to see them I'm not sure how he would react as he insists on being in their lives, especially taking them to school. He doesn't like to be excluded from decisions involving them...the option of injunctions is there. Money is also a barrier as I don't have funds for a deposit to rent elsewhere yet.
I was told I could approach any council as homeless and fleeing dv or go to a refuge. Neither ideal. But I know no other alternative?

Please contact Women's Aid. It won't be great living in temporary accommodation but you and your children will fexsafe and you will get help. Keep your eye on the prize.