Mortgage/bullying at work/loss of job - help!

[ivegotflowersinthespring]

I am in a situation now where I have been bullied at work for 8 months and have had enough physically and mentally. I have NEVER left a job before in my entire working life but I am not prepared for my health or self esteem to suffer any longer so have decided to quit. The person doing the bullying has been there forever, small company, no HR. They (the bully) are not going anywhere/going to change has grown up with the MD - whose company ethos is treat em very mean and keep em keen (ie you are lucky to work here kind of attitude). It really is the survival of the fittest. I have done unpaid overtime I have tried my very best to be super professional and almost everything I have done is undermined. SO, anyway that is almost the least of my worries, because I am in the process of buying a house which has just hit a snag - involving an incorrect boundary plan - which is going to take weeks to sort out (I expect). In that time I am actively going to be getting a new job but have been told by my mortgage broker that I will lose my mortgage offer (and therefore the house) if I change jobs at this point. I am so depressed and I don't know what to do! :(

This sounds horrendous! As someone who's worked in that kind of environment before I can totally sympathise. Personally I think you need to focus on your mental health and sanity and get the hell out of there. House prices are dropping or stagnant. You got approval once so you'll get it again with your next job, you might just need to wait a few months longer than you planned. I would suggest you get the doctor to sign you off for stress in the first instance and just give yourself a break to think. You know you don't want a long term career there so who cares. Take care of yourself first.

You've stuck our your job for months, can you do it a few more weeks until you get a mortgage? Can you investigate if you can proceed with a different mortgage that would suit better? Some only require the offer letter for a new job. Are you buying alone? I'm between jobs and we were surprised we could still go ahead just on DH salary

I know it's rough, I've been.bullied out if a job and also was about to quit with nothing, luckily I got a new job just the week I was planning to quit. Ultimately your health is very important. In 5 years will you regret losing the house more, or sticking with the job a bit longer?

Hang in at work till you get the house. You can still look for another job you can also go off sick if necessary that won't affect your mortgage offer

They wont be able to sell the house to anyone else until the Land Regsitry clarifies and formalises the boundary, so I'd take your chances.

By the way - we were in that exact position. Were able to borrow a relative's house for the interim, so were prepared to wait for the vendors to rectify the boundary. Which took over a year!

I would prioritize moving jobs if I were you.

Thank you! you're both right. I can't stay any longer - it's not worth it. I'll get another job, another mortgage, another house somewhere down the line. They are not going to drag me down any lower I won't let them. I'm going to the doctor's today and will see what they say xxx

Goodness Mumsnut that is kind of depressing and useful to know about your situation too. That is my fear that it will take forever and I will be utterly depressed and miserable in the meantime any my health and my family's sanity will suffer! x

sorry I forgot - I had name changed just after I did my other post !xx

Have you got your mortgage offer? If so then don't tell them!!

I was in exactly the same position, I was half way through the conveyance when I was pushed out of my job, similar circumstances.

We already had the mortgage offer, i had a new job within 4 weeks, noone needed to know. We moved :)

Walk right out. Nobody is worth that. Then I would look into employment law and scare the beejaysus out of them. Make sure they give you some pay and a good reference.
Good luck finding someone worth working for

Sorry to hear you're in this position OP - however I'm sure there's light at the end of the tunnel. Your mortgage advisors right, you do need to stay where you are until the mortgage is completed but as you say it will only be weeks, I'm sure you can stick it out for a little while longer.
Keep looking for new jobs, try anything and everything, it will make you feel positive- what line of work are you in?
When I was feeling undermined and totally hated my boss in work I used to play scenarios in my head imagining them in embarrassing situations, anything that took away their power over me
I once had a formal telling off from them so I wore my Micky mouse earrings because that's what I thought of her - a Micky mouse boss. Childish I know but small things like that made me feel stronger and less of a victim , more empowered - she eventually went off on stress saying she was being bullied by her boss - karma indeed
Sending you lots of strength- by the new year you will be in your new house and in a new job!

Thanks so much everyone - if my old keyboard would allow it I would send you all [hugs]! Going to see if I can get a doctors note today and take it from there. I am so bloody loyal and conscientous (sic) that I don't want to claim for anything though x

Sitting here crying now and about to take my darling dog for a walk - having been up half the night. I hate to think of anyone else in my situation who has to carry on :( x

Don’t stay in the job. Your long term mental health is far too important.

You’ll get a new job. You’ll get a new mortgage offer and you’ll find another house.

Better a home owning delay of

you're right thank you
I know some people think I should stay a few weeks but this bullying is just horrible and gives me pain in my chest just thinking about it! so I am done with them x

Good luck at the

oP you have name changed during the thread, just wanted to make you aware incase of any cross~posts

Go to doc, get signed off because of the unbearable stress?

Go off sick and hang in there until your house is sorted. Good luck OP!

Thanks Doris - karma indeed!

I admire your resilience but I feel sick at the thought of it and I have left it and put up with it too long without saying anything at all which is shy I am in this predicament

why not shy!

Huge sympathies. I have been bullied in very similar circumstances, by someone untouchable.

My health was really effected, and I did leave.

However, if you want this house, keep thinking about the house and make that your focus. It is amazing what tbe mind can donwhen you trick it!

Hello again and thanks for all your help.
I did walk out of the job and gave my reasons to the boss. I just couldn't face another day working with the bully I didn't want to burst into tears again - I needed to hold on to my sanity. My question is now an employment one. What do you say about it at your next interview/application for a new job? Do you say I was bullied - I suspect you don't - but does anyone have any suggestions/phrases I could use in this situation.
Thanks :)

How long were you there? I;d be tempted to ignore it if you haven;t been there long.

Or say something bland about cultural fit and job not matching up with the advertised spec. It is potentially known in the industry that that workplace is shit so they will know what you mean anyway if there is such high turnover.

Thanks SushiMonster I was there 8 months
so I will probably put it on as there was lots of good work experience I acquired whilst there and i will say the job was not matching up to the advert or something along those lines :)