moving out of London (out M25) pros and cons: please advise!

[Irinn]

My DH wants (a lot!) to move out of London, just somewhere out M25. He wants a big house and garden and says that moving out will save lots of money and will increase quality of life. Now we live in Twickenham and I'm quite happy with it as there is everything you need in the area, easy to get to city center. We both work in center around Waterloo station, so commuting is great.
Now we rent 2 bedroom apartment, which is not big, but I'm absolutely happy with. Also we have a son, who just started going to nursery, which is perfectly located - on the way to the station, so I dropping and picking him up without any problems.
So my concern is that if will move to OutM25-land (he was considering Reading) commuting will be taking 1,5-2h one way, so I wont be seeing my son at all. My DH will as he can work flexible hours or work from home. And in general idea of spending 3-4h a day on train is not so attractive. Now it takes me 1h from door to door.
And about savings - nice big house in Reading to rent cost the same as our apartment, so this expenses will stay the same, nursery will be cheaper, but train will be ~300£ more expensive per month.
Whats the point then, if it will be the same/more money + 2h more on train?

What do you think? Who moved out of London and where? Was considered also St.Albans and Windsor.

I moved out of London for Manchester. Which is a lot further but the best thing I ever did.
Nearer my parents in the highlands, I bought a beautiful 2 bed house for less than £200k in a not-awful area, and I love being here.

We moved from London to Birmingham, best thing we could have done I think in our situation, we were also renting in London..finally bought our own house which we would be hardly able to afford in London..

I wouldn't do it if the commute was going to be >1hr each way.

I wouldn’t given both of you are working and commuting.

I’d move PROPERLY out like to another city, but that commute is shit.

Look very carefully at the costs of commuting - they can easily eat into the savings you get from living further out

I've just moved out of London to the south coast. Love it, but I work locally with a 20 minute commute. I wouldn't have wanted to move out further and continue commuting in. To be fair you're already pretty far out in Twickenham.

There are areas outside the M25 less than an hour to Waterloo station. Have you tried Redhill, Reigate or Horley areas? Depends on how much you have to spend of course. Horley is pretty good value for money with a Surrey postcode & great links to Gatwick, London & the coast. What are you looking for & how much do you have to spend?

Possible Pros but would need much more research
big house and garden? But where? Town, village, near railway station?
need to look at whether rents actually are lower in possible places?
would you look to buy in future and would moving make this possible?
cheaper nursery? Would nursery actually be cheaper, and can you find a place in childcare that you're as happy with as where he's just started?
If you moved would it be possible to change jobs to work locally or somewhere on a more direct route to your new home, eg Reading, Paddington? What would be trade offs in terms of salary and pension etc vs realistic journey time and fares?

Potential Cons/risks
journey time
Fares - you should add season ticket/day fares/costs of any journey to a train station to the housing costs, for both of you.
time with your son

Similarly on nursery costs, you need to compare the cost of the hours you would need to pay for, and whether there is nursery care that properly covers your hours with extra travelling time.

I live in north London, my kids are a lot older than your son (years 7 and 5) and I'm probably much much older than you and own a small house. I have a fantasy of moving to a sensible sized city but for lots of reasons it's likely to remain a fantasy because there are so many trade-offs. I wouldn't move out and commute to central London. Admittedly we're lucky in having the house and a small mortgage. The area we live in would appeal less to a lot of Mumsnetters than Twickenham - poverty, social class and milieu in the aera, schools etc, but I wouldn't choose to live anywhere else in London after nearly 23 years here, nearly 20 in this house, older DS is 11.

I wouldn't move to Reading and commute into London 3-4 times a week. I moved from zone 6, so further out than you are currently, out to Wokingham and commute via Twyford into London 1 day a week and the rest working from home. I agree with others who say you either need to find somewhere bigger that is closer to London than say Reading or consider whether you could move your job outside of London.

Id consider somewhere in SW London on a quicker train to Waterloo. Dorking is about 50 minutes and feels very rural. Guildford a 35 minute train and also surrounded by countryside. Personally not a fan of Woking but the train is very quick. Also worth considering places like West Byfleet, Leatherhead, Epsom, Esher, Cobham / Oxshott (quite pricey). We are house hunting in these areas so happy to answer any questions.

I wouldn't want to do that commute, it sounds miserable. You might have a bigger property but you'd barely be in it!

I'd look for cheaper areas on train lines into Waterloo.

A big house and garden in St Albans is bloody expensive. Rents are high.

Excellent place to live though

Woking is 25 mins from Waterloo. The centre isn't great, but there are nicer bits.

I agree with the person who said look in the Epsom/Cobham/Ashtead area. Is your husband wanting semi rural? There are lots of villages around these areas too.

I moved out of London 20 years ago- to Epsom- and it was wonderful. You have the best of both worlds of town and country. London is 35 minutes on the train yet we have beautiful countryside a short walk away. You almost always get a seat on the train on the way in to London..

Try Egham. 40 mins by train. Several nurseries near station. Whole town is walkable. Easy access to Windsor Great Park. New Leisure Centre with pool opening early next year. Waitrose, Tesco, Iceland all in town centre. Nice for young families.

I'm doing the same and moving to Horley. I'm worried I'll miss city life, but the fresh air and smaller town vibe is drawing me in. Plus I have a young son and don't want to raise him in the city with everything going on right now.

Londoners

OP, you need to do some sums and show him that this is going to cost you money.

No savings on accommodation.
Utilities likely to be slightly higher given the additional cost of heating a bigger property.
Higher council tax - the bill for band H in 2018-19 is about £600 higher in Reading than in Twickenham.
Potentially some savings on the cost of your DC’s childcare.
Additional costs of season tickets. Costs like childcare are temporary, but you will be tied into transport costs permanently and at the mercy of the annual price hikes.
If you don’t already have a car you may find that you need one, depending on location of house and nursery in relation to station etc.

Cleaning a bigger house and maintaining a garden has a cost in terms of your time. Meanwhile you will lose ten hours a week to your commute. Will DH step up and do the housework, or do you need to factor in the cost of a cleaner?

If you’re in a position to afford those higher costs then I would argue that you would be better off saving for a deposit and revisiting the subject when you are in a position to buy, potentially as part of a long-term plan whereby you both move jobs and buy in a cheaper part of the country.

I have moved to a village out that way and whilst living in the countryside is glorious and the people are friendly, the commute is gruelling and expensive. I'm not sure what train line services are available from Reading, but I've feeling it might be GWR, who also provide the service on the line that I'm on. If I was you I'd google 'GWR customer service' and dig beneath the first few pages of GWR shiny publicity before I made any big decisions...
I don't regret my decision, I love it here, but make sure you due your due diligence so that you can go in with your eyes open.

Honestly? Leaving London is probably one of the best changes you will do in life but I agree with others, I would go farther. Personally if I were in your situation and your husband can work from home, I would move somewhere within commuting distance to Manchester and I would look for another job up north while my husband works from home. If you can shoulder temporarily not working or handle getting another job, I would do it. The quality of life benefit will be far larger than any raise your company could give you now. I would then buy myself a comfortable house and lifestyle.

We moved from East London (DLR) to Essex shortly before DD was born. Best thing we did. We’re walking distance from a station and got a four bed detached house for less than £300k. Prices are on the rise here now but you’re still looking at something decent for way less than central. Commute into Liverpool Street is less than an hour. We’re also about fifteen minutes from the beach which still rocks my world now!

I grew up in SW London, the Waterloo line, especially the villagey bits at the end, are lovely but prices are pretty expensive there, agree with people saying do the sums carefully to make sure the cost of season tickets doesn’t eat into it.

Hi LaGruffaloGrumble

Can I ask what area of Essex you live in?