Is a small garden a problem as kids get older?

[yippyiyay]

Hi

I am in v fortunate position of owning a flat ( DPs helped me to buy) then met dh and we bought a house and kept the flat on which I rent out. We now live in the same area in a great location 40 mins from London. It's ok but in a student area which sadly is being more and more engulfed by landlords buying up family houses and letting out to students and I don't see this getting any better. We have a nice 3 bed semi with a teeny garden but a fantastic garden room. In an ideal world ( and without the risk on the area becoming even more developed) I would do a loft conversion for 50k or so and spend a decent amount on the tiny garden to make it nice so that it was perfect. We are already in a great school area and ds is in local school albeit we live in the less nice area of the school catchment! We had thought about having another child but that is looking increasingly unlikely now so it seems our house is big enough for us. So question is should we stretch ourselves and sell the flat for a bigger better house with big garden to "keep up with the Joneses!" And future proof ( they always say on property programs move in as few steps as possible! Or just stick with what we've got.. small but perfectly formed! I don't think ds or dh care either way and ds loves having his own garden play room and I'm sure will use it more to play with his mates as he gets older.( he is 6). Any views from parents with older kids welcomed. Most of our social group have massive gardens and I feel sad for ds when we come home to our teeny garden but I think this is irrational .

So I thought maybe we could sell the flat and our house and buy dream property but then we would be over the barrel if we lost our jobs or in the unlikely event I fell pregnant again but flat pretty much takes care of itself ( I manage it and have done for years and have never had bad tenant And it s highly rentable area.., ds could live in it in 12 years if he wants to go to uni!!! Aah don't know what's best to do!!!

Stop looking at what the Joneses have, and look at what you’ve got, and what you need. Your son loves the garden playroom; I’ll bet some of your friends with bigger gardens wish they had one of those! Children don’t play in the garden forever... eventually they might prefer to be inside. You’re settled, have good schools, and are not too stretched financially - why would you want to move?

My kids never used the garden once they were about 10 only went and sat out there if it was warm and I pretty much made them go out. They prefered to hang out with friends, go to the park and be in each others houses.

I think as they get older they use the garden less. Our daughter is 6 and other than occasional bouncing on the trampoline she isn't bothered. She wants to play on her bike, scooter, go for walks, park. We have swings, slides, playhouse and a trampoline and she'd still rather play on her bike out front.

I had a big garden when the kids were young and the played in it quite a bit but as soon as the hit 11 or 12 they didn't bother as they were either in their bedrooms or out with their friends!
So if I were you I stick with "small but perfectly formed".

Do you have access to outside space locally, like a decent park? My DC all use our garden a lot because they're football crazy so are always out playing, but I can see that this may change as they get older (oldest is currently only 8).

My neighbours have just had an extension, leaving a very small back garden, but they are relaxed about it as we have a large park and playing field within a couple of minutes walk.

The garden here was my compromise. It seemed very small at the time of buying, but could fit a trampoline. That went a couple of years ago and since then the DCs (now all teens) don’t really use it (although DS2 was hanging out in it with his mates the other evening). Having their own space inside becomes much more important.

I had similar conversations when I was buying a house - all my friends with older DCs said the same, as they get older they don’t use a large garden as much and prefer to be in their rooms / at friends / at the park. Even for sporty kids, they go to a sports club rather than playing in the garden. Plus a really big garden is quite a lot of work unless you employ a gardener!

Our garden is smallish - not tiny but not massive. We have a trampoline which the 10 and 12 year old still play on, and space to eat outside when it’s warm, but they don’t use the rest of the garden much. We have a lot of nice parks nearby and this summer we tended to go to the park, they were more likely to bump into friends there.

As ours got older, a separate room inside for them to be with friends was definitely more important than the garden. So your garden play room sounds perfect

I always had fairly small gardens when my 2 sons were growing up. When they were small it was fine, they had room to play with their toys/games, have a small kickabout, get the paddling pool out, have a sandpit or put up a tent.

When they got older [9-12] they would be out more playing cricket/football at the playing field about 500 yards away with their friends. More time spent away from home rather than in the garden then indoors they would spend more time in their bedrooms.

When a bit older again they would spend time in the garage playing darts or snooker with friends so a garden room sounds good to me. As long as there is a space dedicated to their leisure time for them with their own belongings/games etc in it can be inside or out I think.

I agree with everyone else. Once when they get to about 10, they don't use the garden as much as there isn't enough room to kick the ball without it going over the fence / against the house. They are more likely to go to the park to meet mates, and more likely to play / stay inside. Once teens they morph towards their bedrooms.

At age 9 I think you’re st peak ‘garden space requrment’ for football / rag / swing ball / cartwheels etc

So I wouldn’t look to move now just for a bigger green!

Why don’t you get your property and flat valued then go and look at houses within your budget to see what you could buy for your money then make a decision.

Your garden room sounds amazing, what’s it like? Any chance of some pictures?