house sale to fund nursing home - help!

[maisym]

having to sell a relatives home as they'll have to pay for nursing home care. They are in hospital at the moment with terminal cancer & the hospital has arranged for them to go to a nursing home.

• can we oppose this? - we think they're best off in hospital.

• if we have to sell their house what's the fastest way as they'll need every penny to pay for their care.

• what happens when the money runs out?

thannks for your help

KatieK - yup spoke to he hospital ward sister who told me she was ending the conversation & had witnesses to it. She really was rude. Couldn't believe this.

We think our relatives not mentally stable to make the choice on her care but the ward sister wiouldn't listen to me! I called the PALs service and they're going to find out how the assessments where made & if our relative reals wants to got to the care home as it's her choice.

How things like this can happen with out talking to the family are beyond me.

Not sure on the diff between a home & a hospice?

TW - I tried to ask about the CC but couldn't get through to the sister. Not sure who to ask on this?

thanks for everyones time & help xxx

MaisyM - omg, you what?!!! How can they treat you like that? You're the next of kin and you have your relative's best interests at theart, it sounds like you are privy to knowledge they don't have and more specifically, don't want to hear. Did you get the names of the people you spoke with as there may be some comeback on this. Remember, YOU were in the right to be querying this and they had no right to speak with you in that manner - some people are clearly in the wrong jobs. Perhaps a stern letter should be written and sent to the Chief Exec?

Regarding your relative - it is important that they realise and can acknowledge the decision they have made, will the PAL see to this? If they are not in the best mental health, they could deteriorate quickly in the nursing home. Sorry to put that so bluntly.

And...Aha - apparantly a nursing home is for 'long term' care, whether is be palliative or general nursing and a hospice is for 'symptom management' i.e. when there is not a long prognosis/not long left. Do you know how long your rel has left?

Hope you're ok Maisy xx

Hospice - short term care of the dying
Nursing Home - long term care of those incapable of looking after themselves
If your relative has only a very short time to live, a hospice would be best.
You definitely have to pay for a nursing home unless the level of care is extremely high. There have been recent cases in court to challenge decisions made in respect of severely impaired patients who have been refused fully funded care. This includes people who are totally paralysed, fed by drip etc, but are not considered by the NHS to warrant full funding.
If you do not have power of attorney, your relative will have to sign all documents relating to sale of property and anything else. There is a useful guide on power of attorney by the Public Guardianship Office.
My mother is being moved to a nursing home today, so it is a topic I'm having to get into at present!

The Help the Aged site is very useful maisym.

thanks katiekitty xxx will let you know what happens on the mental health front. Your right to say it could get worse in the nursing home - I'll ask about this.

lilymaid - hope your mum is ok. Thanks for the poa link - it's alot to sort out in such a short time. They only told us yesterday about the move tomorrow.

LionH - will look up that site - thanks.

I would suggest you contact care aware, they operate an advocacy service and will be able to talk you through all the relevant issues. The contact number is on the website here

thanks gingergirl - I've just looked through & it's a real help.

You've all here been so helpful & I really thank -you for this. In contrast when I called the hospital today they told me they knew nothing about the procedure and could give me no information.

Zombie thread from 16 years ago ?????