I live down a very long drive which has a very busy road at the end. I have one neighbour to my left, in front of me (over the drive behind a hedge) is my elderly mother who lives in a bungalow and to my right is open land. My neighbour has a right of way over the drive which I own. The front of my house has no wall as I have to turn into my drive to get into my garage. My neighbours have two entrances with gates which they keep open all of the time as they use a sort of turning circle in front of their house. I have lived here 30 years and have had seen several neighbours come and go, these last ones have stayed the longest and have been the nicest. However, they do daft things like reverse into my drive, allow their dog to roam over my garden and poo in my garden, race up and down the drive in front of my house so many petty things but I put up with it because I just want an easy life. I don't complain, life's too short. My neighbour's house is land locked and their only way out is over my drive.
A few years ago my neighbours asked if their two children could cross my land (instead of using the drive) to get to school safely instead of walking along the busy road. I reluctantly agreed but found that my neighbour and her family and friends started using it so I stopped it by telling my neighbour that I was worried about security. I cannot see the cut from my house so cannot tell who used it but I thought I'd stopped it.
A little while later my mother moved in opposite me and we agreed to cut a small hole in the hedge between us so that mum could cut thro to her home without having to go onto the busy road at the end of my drive. It's hard to explain the geography but the hole in the hedge is opposite my house over the drive, the cut in the other hedge is to the right of my drive onto the spare land.
A couple of years later I decided to plant a hedge along the drive facing the open land and so the cut in the hedge was closed for good that my neighbour's children used. Several times my mother had mentioned that many people were using the cut including her. I couldn't help but feel resentful so felt planting a hedge was the answer.
I have a cat and dog and my neighbours have complained about the dog barking, my house alarm going off, my noisy son (sitting the garden late at night) so I have been acutely aware that I've not been the best neighbour so have been very hesitant to complain myself.
About a year ago I went away for a weekend and had no-one to look after my cat so I asked the lady next door to my mum (on the other side) if she could just pop over to feed the cat for one day. I couldn't ask my mum as she is 93 and has dementia and would forget and my other neighbours were away. In hindsight I should have just put the cat into a cattery for the trouble this was to cause me. This lady only agreed to feed the cat if I would allow her to cut through mum's garden, through the cut in my hedge opposite my house, over my drive and to my house as she did not want to negotiate the busy road at the end of the drive. I checked with mum and she agreed but only ONCE. The neighbour took this to be permanent arrangement which incensed mum no end as she was convinced all sorts of people were walking through her garden. I still don't know if it is dementia or the neighbour next to mum taking advantage or she had got the idea that cutting through the hedge was a permanent arrangement. Anyway, mum came around to see me in high dudgeon because of this woman walking through her garden to go and see my neighbour to my left through the gap in the hedge that mum uses to see me. It was left to me to sort it out as mum was furious with me because she was convinced that it was not just her neighbour but loads of builders!
I went to see the lady next to mum and explained the situation and asked if she could please not go through mum's garden and go around along the road and down my drive to see my neighbour (they are good friends BTW). The lady's reaction was not good and she hasn't spoken to me since and blanks me every time i see her. It was a reasonable request and I did apologise for creating the wrong impression.
Meanwhile, mum's dementia is getting very bad but she is refusing all outside help. I have helped as much as I could over the past 4 years but I am now running a business which takes up all of my time.
So, now I have spent a lot of time and money creating a hedge along my drive to keep my neighbours to my left out.
I have made clear to mum that I just can't help her as much as I used to (I have a brother who does a lot of the practical stuff but he's a 100 miles away and comes to see mum every 4 months) but she just ignores me. It's so convenient for her to call me any time of the day or night and, if I don't answer she turns up on my doorstep after cutting through the hedge. I do my best but running my business is 24/7. I have been in contact with social care but mum has just sent them away. My brother says that there is nothing we can do until a crisis happens. It's an awful situation and I just don't have the time to help mum as I used to.
I have also the big responsibility of keeping the drive maintained - cutting the hedge between mum's house and mine. There is no one to help me as I live on my own and my children live far away. The hedge has got very overgrown and hangs over the driveway so that my neighbours to my left (the one's who are landlocked cars are having trouble passing without scratching their cars. So, I have spent what spare time I have cutting back hedges and employing someone to help me. I have now discovered that the fences behind the hedge are leaning over the drive - pushing hedging forward (they belong to mum) and need repairing, desperately but I know if I speak to mum she won't do anything about it and I havn't the time to get someone in to fix them for her.
I have re-planted the hedging along the drive - after removing all the old hedging that was against mum's fence which I did myself as I couldn't afford to pay someone to do it for me.
The gap in the hedge is still there (that mum used to use) but it is getting very overgrown as she doesn't leave her bungalow much these days. I have started visiting mum using her front door along the main road and I don't use the gap at all. I think i have responsibility for hedges along the drive that I own and have always maintained them.
Just recently though, my neighbour to my left has started using the gap to see mum for various things but I'm not sure why. This is the neighbour to my left who asked me if her children could go over my land instead of using the busy road. I think it's for collecting letters or parcels that can't be delivered as me and my neighbours are out all day.
I'm in a bit of quandrary because my neighbour abused my good will previously and she is doing the same thing again. What she should do is walk down my drive - her right of way - turn left and go to my mum's front door.
This has happened about 4 or 5 times as far as I know.
What I would like to do is close up the gap completely so that the hedging goes the whole length of my drive on both sides but if I do this it might hurt my mum's feelings. This is where mum's dementia plays tricks in that she gets upset if one neighbour crosses into her garden but does seem to mind my neighbour going into her garden.
I am tempted just let the hedge grow and hopefully the gap will be closed up in a few years and just tolerate my neighbour going through the hedge but I've upset one neighbour do I risk upsetting this one?
I't only a minor matter but things like gaps in hedge can cause problems in the future which I would rather avoid, especially with a mum who is mentally ill. I've found out to my cost in the past when I gave into my neighbour about crossing my land.