Removal company - HELP! - how to persuade dh?

[iknowimcoming]

We are moving in roughly 4 weeks. We already own the place we're moving to and our buyers won't be moving in for a few weeks after we move out so no pressure on moving in/out day. It's 10. Ins drive from our current house. We've lived in same house for 15 years so have lots of stuff but put a lot into storage before we put house on market. I want to get removal company to pack and move everything into new place and to unpack ourselves - nice and easy. DH is a control freak doesn't want removal company to move stuff in his garage 'as they'll break things' doesn't want them to move piano 'as they'll damage it' doesn't want them 'touching my clothes'. He says we can pack ourselves as we don't have much stuff left and it won't take long. We are rowing daily about it and I want to kill him as he's being ridiculous - we have loads of stuff still and it'll take us - ME OF COURSE - bloody ages to pack everything. He argues we can move in gradually - I say that way we'll have some stuff here and some there and it'll be infuriating- I want to move in one fell swoop, done, simple. Please help me make him see sense. He only wants removal men to move big heavy stuff and says we can do the rest in our cars - aaaaaargh! Or is his right? (Please says he's not)

In this scenario neither of you are wrong, it's just a difference of opinion.

Are you financiallyindependent? If so pay for your own stuff to be moved and get him to do his with his mates, don't you get involved.

If it's a real piano you definitely need removals people. And if it's an electric one it may not be so heavy but getting it in and out of a car will be a nightmare!

Get some quotes - all them to cost up worth and without packing. It's really (in the grand scheme of things) not much more to get them to pack.

However, some companies might not do your garage, and they might not do your piano either, so I'd check that.

However, I'm handing out advice when I failed at this myself... We got a removal company (you'll surely need a big lorry if you've been there a long time) but DH never relented on the packing bit.

I'd book one anyway and let him do his own bits.

If it's a real piano you definitely need removals people.

We moved one ourselves, it just squeezed into a Ford Galaxy.

If he wants to do it, let him crack on. Leave him to it but with a pre-agreed weekly schedule (so you aren't left at the last minute with a mountain to move and no removals people available). Then remember to monitor progress!

How far is the new house btw? I'm sure it's not 10 inches.

He is an idiot. If you bury him under the patio I will provide your alibi.

Two companies booked in to quote so I'll see what they say - should have said it's a 5 bedroom house 3 receptions and whilst we aren't hoarders all the rooms are fully furnished. It's a real electric piano and bloody heavy although splits into two parts. I think my big gripe is he'll say oh we'll be able to do it ourselves and then expects me to lift heavy stuff and I'm not being a helpless female - I'm just not very strong and he gets shouty with me

After having a moving company (paid for by DH employers as a work move) pack up for us, I vowed I would never ever do it myself, and I haven't, moving is a stressful business and takes a huge load off. We just mark up which rooms the boxes are to be put in in the new property and unpack ourselves.

We have moved ourselves twice (once when childless), and had removal companies for 2 international moves and 3 in this country (one just across town), all when having fairly small child(ren) and one when 2 weeks from due date with DD.

For all the professional moves we had a packing service - it was provided for the first international move and it was SUCH a joy that we have always paid for it since.

Nothing has ever been broken during the professional moves (and if it had, their insurance would have paid for it, unlike if we had packed or moved it), and the 'do it all in 1 go, get it done, get it put in the right place' slick professionalism of it was a total joy.

We have never paid for an unpacking service - though it was included in 1 of the international moves, and when I was highly pregnant they did reassemble all the big furniture for us unprompted -0 and that was great because it allowed us to judge what small items went where as needed [and to put unpacked boxes into the spare bedroom and shut the door for 3 montths when I went into labour].

On the other hand, moving ourselves was long, stressful, boring, inconvenient, dirty and very grumpy-making.

If your DH won't back down, then get the removal company to do everything except his clothes, and his garage - and he needs to pack and move those, you won't be involved. The piano will be better insured with the removals company, so I would get them to do it, though they will probably itemise it out separately in the quote.

I'd tell him if he doesn't want people to touch his stuff, tell him to make a list and they won't.
Pay someone to shift all yours then don't get involved....

Personally I'd only ever pack myself, wouldn't feel happy with anyone else doing it.

Oh, and you could also get two different quotes from the removers - 'move big heavy stuff only' and 'move everything'. Given that both will need a van, and the same number of staff, I suspect that the gap between the two will be smaller than he thinks.

Also, make a list of the packing needed: sit down with him, or go round room by room - 'What will need packing?' 'Which parts will you do, which parts will I do' (have 2 columns on the list) 'What needs packing and moving first / second / third?' Start listing number of boxes needed, number of car / van trips etc. Once you have the whole house planned out, start planning out how much you need to do each day / evening starting now. You could even start a bit - you do a couple of 'your' boxes from a particular room, tick them off, ask when he is doing 'his' from that room.

He will probably relent quite fast if he sees that his half of the work is a LOT.

Happy, if you pack your own boxes and they are moved by the removal company, you pay for all breakages.

If they pack them, they pay. (And they have a lot of specialised packing containers, which make a lot of things easier)

Also, if they pack, you live in the house normally until the morning of the move. No boxes, no mess, nothing. Then it's all done. It's kind of weirdly magical.

(We moved house 3x within 15 months at one point, and professional moves made it possible. Had I had to pack as well, with 2 young children, the time in each short term house would have been a wilderness of boxes. With professional movers, apart from about 3 days - the day of packing, the day of moving, the day of unpacking - we could just live normally)

Agree- book the movers, and tell him to crack on moving his bits gradually before they arrive.
I'm a packing movers convert too. You do it once and you never go back. Also, I'm freelance. Time off work = no pay. It's cheaper to pay the experts to do it speedily than for me to take any time off and drag it out. And they are so quick!!!

I'd have a calm chat about how the stress of moving is already causing rows and tell him that you don't want to have to do all the packing and that you physically can't lift things he finds it easy to. That living in limbo between two houses will be stressful.

We agreed early on that not only would we use a removal firm to move our belongings, we'd also use their packers. They are professionals and they are far quicker and better at it. Everything is fully insured if they pack it - it isn't covered by their insurance to the same extent if you've packed it. Wtf regarding them touching your clothes? I doubt they get kicks from it nor are they dirty! We were given wardrobe boxes which I think we put hanging clothes in ourselves - drawers, etc can be moved with contents.

In the scheme of things removals and packing are not expensive - we budgeted for it. Honestly it is so worth it: you just live normally and a couple of days before moving day they start packing everything up. Everything gets moved to the new place on one day. It is a recipe for disaster to do things bit by bit - like slow torture.

You have to be out of the house you've sold on completion day, no matter when the new owners are actually moving in btw.

Personally I'd only ever pack my own stuff. I don't like the idea of other people doing it.

I've done both removal company and with man and van doing all big things in one day and some other bits, with me moving small things in my tiny car.

For me it comes down to cost mostly. Man and van we use are ridiculously cheap compared to a removal lorry - even having man & van do multiple journeys.

In some ways a gradual move is easier but in others it's harder.

It's easier to move gradually in that you

1. don't have to pack everything in a rush to be ready for X day/time,
2. it's easier to unpack key items without boxes of less important things being in the way
3. escape an immensely stressful morning of trying to make sure everything is on the removal lorry/ nothing is being forgotten anywhere.
4. are not expected to sign to say a whole house worth of stuff has been delivered and is not damaged when you cant even get to stuff to check.

On the other hand it's easier to moving in one go in that:

1. It's all moved in one day so at least every thing you own is in one place - your not going to be at the new house and think oh I need X but it's at the old house.
2. it forces all packing and unpacking to be done fast so it's not drawn out.

However I would never move without strong experienced removal people of some type. I'm not strong enough to shift heavy furniture and more importantly people who move furniture frequently are way better at getting the very large pieces through doorways and round and narrower corners in house than people who never noally do it.

Professional movers are worth their weight in mothereffing gold and every single one is going to heaven. I moved myself in a small van several times with friends, but once I'd first paid for a mover, I could never go back. I'm really not sure it's at all possible or practical to move with kids without them.

I'd do as a PP suggested and pay them to move mine and the kids' stuff, then sweetly let him know that you're happy for him to pack and shift his own clothes and piano.

Total idiot.

Professional removal will pack and move in a way you can only dream off. Precious piano will be treated much better by professional movers than you and DH. Also.. touching your clothes??? Is your DH some kind of a pervert that he gets off on touching other women's clothes or something?

Serbska- idiot yes, clothing pervert? Not as far as I know

If I could afford it I would pay for a moving company in a heartbeat and I've only got a 2 bed one reception room small starter house to pack! My dh agrees. Moving is stressful as hell why do it if you can get help?

And I say this as someone who moved house 7 times as a kid/teenager. It's horrific.

Nothing has ever been broken during the professional moves (and if it had, their insurance would have paid for it, unlike if we had packed or moved it)

This. We found out that if we used professional movers to pack, any breakages were covered not only by the movers' insurance but also by our own contents insurance.

In the end the only breakages were in the two boxes I packed myself

Also if there's any chance you will be storing some things for a while, professional packing is fab as they wrap so well - so everything is protected from dust, spiders, damp etc.

Could you book a moving date with packers a week or so after you get access to the new place, and tell him that everything he hasn't moved by that date will be taken by the packers?